What was the most valuable tip you received, when planning your wedding?

I'm trying to plan a destination wedding, as I'm recently engaged. What was the best advice you ever got for your wedding?

A little background history if it helps:

My fiance and I are very laid-back hassle-free. We don't want a huge pary, just our closest and dearest friends and family to meet up with us and celebrat on a beach in Belize. We all get along and there is no real internal family drama, other than the occasional self-centered sibling who things life revolvs around her Lol.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Do you know whether the people you want to invite can afford the travel and get the time off? For someone who is invited, it means probably that this is their vacation for the year but they don't get to pick the destination or the date. I have always considered destination weddings to be a very self-centered act on the part of young couples. You don't see older couples doing destination weddings because older couples are more considerate of their friends and family.

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    • All but a few of our friends can afford it (and those who can't we already plan to help them financially) but that is sort of the reason we wanted a destination wedding; to keep the guest list small and intimate.

      I'm not sure why you would think it's self-centered for a couple to plan their dream wedding.. when... you know... it's a celebration about THEM, and not their guests. The naysayers could be viewed as self-centered if you think someone else's wedding should revolve around what's best for YOU or what's most convenient for YOU. You think it's selfish for two people to plan their dreams because it may not work easily for others?

      I definitely agree that it's asking a lot of people.. to give up their time/money to celebrate with you, but "those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter."

      Personally, I don't think getting married at 35 makes me part of a "young couple"; most of my friends/family got married in their early 20's.

    • OlderAndWiser is right, though the frankness was stark. He should be OlderAndWiserANDFranker. :) If you were footing everyone's travel and lodging and meals that would be okay; then it's just a matter of your friends' and family's taking the time off, which is less of a burden.

      You mentioned keeping it laid-back and hassle-free, then said you were marrying in Belize. :) These aren't consistent. Laid-back and hassle-free would be a small ceremony and a private party at home or at a beloved restaurant where you know the staff.

      The best advice I ever got was "elope." And that's basically what we did, but we found an evening convenient to her parents and brother, and they came with us. Then I made a home-cooked meal. It was perfect for us as my wife and I were the only ones who bore any cost or burden.

      If Belize is perfect for you, go for it. But--being honest--perhaps you are the sister you describe?

    • @detlef..."laid back and hassle free" for us... because an all-inclusive package sorts out the details (cake, decorations, etc...) and all we have to do is show up. We did discuss eloping, but our parent's were saddened at the thought of not being a part of the ceremony. But I still don't see how I am being a bride-zilla by not scheduling things around the convenience of others when it's not about them. Their presence is a gift; not a requirement. A bridezilla is one who throws tantrums like a 5-year old when she doesn't get everything she wants in her wedding to go perfect. I could care less if things go perfect as long as my fiancĂ© and I get married on a beach like we goth want.

Most Helpful Girl

  • make a list of people you want individual pics with ie mum dad sister brother best friend also joined pics ie mum&dad siblings bridal party etc give that to photographer so it doesn't get missed (make sure your bridesmaid or best man had a copy also )
    limit speeches or you won't have time to party

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What Guys Said 4

  • @MichelleJustAsking We had the same type of wedding. Are you doing it at a resort? If they have a wedding planner on the resort just defer as much as possible to him/her. We didn't stress about it at all, showed up 3 days before our wedding, made a couple choices and were good to go. In the end the most important thing is who is at your wedding... not the small details. Congrats

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    • Thank you! We want to do an all-inclusive at whatever resort offers a package deal. Neither of us care too much about the details (colors, cake, decor, etc...) and would rather have someone else take care of that. That way we don't have to stress so much and just enjoy our guests and each other.

  • Belize sounds just perfect for a laid back relaxed wedding

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  • Don't do it"!!!

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  • Call it off.

    Damn good advice.

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    • Good advice? On what premise? We've known each other since the age of 5, so there are no character surprises. We agree on pretty much everything... and complement each other in areas where one is strong and the other is weak... we have the same life goals... we never get sick of each other's company... conversations never dwindle... our families get along great... neither of us have baggage or addictions... we each love our jobs and are motivated... we are each other's cheer leaders... we were each happy/whole individuals BEFORE we ever started dating... we are aware of each other's pasts... we know each other's secrets... we communicate well... the sex is amazing but we realize it will go in phases and can only get better with practice... we know how to fight fair... we realize that a fight isn't the end of a relationship... we understand how to work at our relationship with the realization that a good relationship doesn't manifest on it's own. Why would we call it off?

What Girls Said 1

  • #1 Your guests are black. That means they won't get full off of just cake and punch.

    #2 Dont expect monetary gifts.

    #3 We won't attend the wedding unless a reception follows.

    Crazy but true lol

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    • Thats what they told me lol

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