My girlfriend is 19 years old and we've been together for 2 years. I'm older than her but we don't take age gap seriously. The point is she just give birth to our son and i feel that we are really close now and kinda feel that she's the right one for me. She moved in with me and i have a good income and i can take responsibility and support the baby and be there for her. I'm planning on taking that step but I'm worried it's going to be too much for her or something. I really want to marry her and start a real family as a married couple
- just do it! she's a mature womanVote A
- don't! she can't get married nowVote B
Most Helpful Girl
Well, you have a son, right?
And if you are seeing each other always and each day (lol) why not to get marry?
I think... Well, you're so close (as you said) and you say you have the best for her and the baby so.. Do it! Now it doesn't matter the age gap cus'... You have a son! But well... Get marry if you want it :DDD1
Most Helpful Guy
The average age for marriage has been climbing. But there are still lots of people your age who get married. It's true that some of them get married too young and it doesn't work out. But many do work out. I know several couples who started going together in high school, or even middle school, and they are still together with kids and grand kids.
One thing you can do is take a look at the reasons why the age of marriage is increasing. Well, I admit that I don't know, so I'm guessing based on other things I know, and what I've seen. First thing I'll point out is that age of first marriage varies considerably around the world. It varies from late teens to early 30s. That's an average, so obviously the range is much larger.
So what does that tell me? It tells me that there's a large cultural component. It says that in a society with a young age for marriage, people prepare for it and are mentally ready for it at a younger age. In a society where the age is much older, people just don't think about it and prepare for it as early. You see the same things historically.
So how does that answer the question. Well, it's just saying it depends on the person, where they are in life, how well prepared they are mentally, socially, financially, responsibly, etc. It's not an absolute that this age or that age is old enough.
It sounds to me like you've thought this through. You already have a child together. You have a decent job and can support the child. You said 2 years difference, so she's 17? That's young, but all the same things apply. Where are you at in your life? Where is she at? How will this affect your lives? You already have the child together, and that can't change. That's a big part of the equation that can't be ignored.
You also have to consider the other side of the equation. What if you don't get married? What happens with your relationship? How will that affect the child?
I don't know the answer. I can't possibly in good conscience say what you should or should not do. I would only say to think hard about it. Be as honest with yourself as you can. No playing weird games in your head to bias your thought - we all do that, but try to avoid it. Don't jump in prematurely without some long thought and long discussions with her. This is a very important decision, for you, for her, and especially for that child. Give the decision the thought and time that it deserves.1