Have you ever had a live-in partner? Why did you choose live together instead of marrying?

What did your experience teach you about the importance of Marriage and about Commitment?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Yes, I've had a live in partner. We lived together instead of marrying because we were both still in school at the time and it was cheaper to live together than separately. I'm glad I didn't marry that asshole - he cheated on me.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I did it for many years. Why? It just seemed like the thing to do. We literally never even talked about it. Starting out I spent the night at her place more and more. After a while I was living there, even if not officially for my mailing address and where my possessions were. When we moved to another place more officially, there was no discussion about if we would be living together. It was just assumed. We went on many years like that.

    We didn't ask "Should we live together?". We only asked Where should we live?"

    There was never any serious discussion about marriage. It came up a few times, but only very casually, almost more in passing. We were already a couple and there was no reason to get married.

    What did my experience teach me? Well, I don't think it's experience so much as just my general feelings about it, and knowing how people are. It was never something important to the two of us, but I do think people are better off getting married.

    It might sound trivial, but with something like a wedding ceremony, I don't think you can just write off the symbolism and tradition of it. It's easy to think the ceremony is unimportant if the couple has already made a commitment to each other. However, things like symbolism, tradition, props, witnesses, the preparation, the seriousness the occasion - they are far more deeply embedded in us than we might want to believe. Symbolism is all around us and it DOES affect us. Visual cues, music, art, formal situations, eye contact, a smile, or Gothic dress - they all affect us in a real way. Even people who reject symbolism and live a hippie lifestyle, have their own symbolism. I really believe it's a part of us.

    Why commit to a lifetime at all? That's a different question altogether. But I think *IF* a couple wants to make a lifetime commitment, then the act of marriage really does enforce that commitment in a very real way.

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What Girls Said 5

  • I've been living with my boyfriend for about 2 months now. We both felt ready to take that step in our relationship. If we're being honest, we also felt ready to take the following step (engagement/marriage) but we had only been together about 10 months at that point, so we're waiting.

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  • I haven't. But I would not be opposed to it if it was my current boyfriend. I'm so young I don't want to get married now. But he knows that I would expect it in the next few years.

    I wouldn't live with someone for 7 years and never get married. But one or two is ok.

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  • No. I won't live with someone unless we are engaged

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  • Marriage is a much bigger commitment. I lived with my college fiance and then broke up with him and was really grateful I hadn't gotten all the way to marriage, 'cause I'd have had a much harder time walking away from my vows than just walking away from the selfish jerk that he had become.

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  • i find it stupid tbh... they do EVERYTHING married people do, but they just dont want that big of a commitment

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What Guys Said 3

  • Personally I wouldn't have gotten married if I wasn't expecting to have kids. There's no other good reason for it from a man's point of view in my opinion.

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  • In my opinion marriage is just a piece of paper stating your love for the other person. Whereas moving in is a huge step from going on dates and seeing each other a couple times a week. When you move in with your significant other, you see each other a lot more and you eventually learn things about the other person you might have not known from just dating. You have to learn each others routine and learn how to give each other personal space

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  • We lived together 2 years before marrying.
    Her dad insisted on marriage.

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