Is marriage in the US really worth it for men these days?

I was just reading a MyTake yesterday ironically posted by a female GAG user on why marriage is slowly becoming an all-time low these days (especially in the United States) because of men avoiding such commitments due to societal problems and changes between men and women and men gaining nothing out of marriage but getting financially fucked over in the ass and have his freedoms stripped. Not to mention, the divorce rates in the US is statistically higher than most of the world while the majority of those people who filed for those divorces (in the US) are women.

The only reason why it seems that more women want to get married even in today's era is because most of these women just want a man to depend on for them to feel protected and then screw his life over financially and make his life hell.

While I'm slowly becoming against marriage, the only ones who have a problem with people like us because of our viewpoints on marriage and tried to shove marriage down our throats are the extreme far right conseveratards who like to stick their nose into other people's businesses and micromanage their lives.

So I just want ask you both male and female GAG users if marriage is really worth it these days or if it's just another excuse to legally strip a man for his freedoms?

  • Yes
    71% (17)17% (9)33% (26)Vote
  • No
    29% (7)83% (45)67% (52)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's worth it if someone wants to get married. It depends on the individual though and what they're looking for. Not everyone wants to get married but they have no issues with commitment and long-term relationships. Actually getting married does carry legal benefits though. I'm pretty conservative myself but I don't care what other people do, it's none of my business. Since I do want to get married someday though, the only person whose opinion of marriage would matter to me would be my partners.

    Personally, I do want to get married someday and I have no intentions of ever getting divorced once I do. Which is why I would never make the decision to get married in the heat of a moment. It's a big deal and something I would have to talk with my partner about extensively beforehand. Some people just rush into it which is why I think divorce is so common.

    I think this is really about trust though. A man shouldn't marry a woman he can't trust not to take all of his money. This again goes back to not rushing into things. Waiting for a while and really getting to know the person you plan to marry is so important. If you can't fully trust that person then you shouldn't get married anyway.

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    • I get what you're saying and it's nice to hear that you're not one of those extremist-type of conservatives (yes, the ones who actually rely on Fox News to hear any valid reports). I don't have a problem with people who still believe in marriage as commitment and all that stuff but it really irritates me when some people (especially women) try to shove that down my throat.

      I understand that a lot of these problems are men's fault for making a choice at their own free will to get married with the wrong women and without a prenup agreement but even then, a lot of women can be deceiving with their personalities and the family courts don't guarantee you prenups. These are the things that makes marriage in the US of A such a huge turn off, along with how incredibly expensive it is. It has nothing to do with me lacking commitment like a lot of you ladies like to assume about men who dislike marriage in general.

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    • Except I never said that all women are the same, I just said a lot of women can be deceiving with their personalities and that there are many negative stories about marriage in the United States regarding many divorce disasters (with women filing for them).

    • Women who think like you are rare and very difficult to find. Because of this, it is stupid for a men put himself in so much risk marrying a woman he loves.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Sometimes, you'll hear women say things like, "Why don't men want to get married?" or "Why aren't you married, yet?"

    Take a step back for a moment and think about the way those questions are framed. Now, let's use the same exact framing for, something like anal rape.

    "Why don't women want to get anally raped?" or "Why aren't you anally raped, yet?"

    I mean, come on! Everyone is doing it! It's just the normal and natural thing to do.

    The question is never "Why not." The question is always, "Why?"

    Why should I get out of bed today? Because I have to work. Why? Because I need money? Why? Because I have bills to pay? Why? Because I have basic needs to satisfy. Why? Because I choose to remain alive, and doing so requires food, etc.

    So, when people ask, "Why don't you have kids, yet?" The appropriate answer is, "Have you actually taken a look at the job market and real wage growth relative to the ever-so-increasing cost of living? Does it really seem to you like this world needs MORE PEOPLE? The question is not why I don't have kids yet. The question is, why should I have kids? What are the benefits to society as a whole compared to the costs and detriments to society as a whole, and how do the benefits exceed the costs and detriments, exactly?"

    Similarly, "Can anyone make the case on why a man 'should' get married?"

    What exactly will "the marriage contract" or "the legal status of being married" add to his life, that he cannot enjoy without marriage?

    The ability to have children?

    The ability to love another human being?

    The ability to live together in the same house with the person he loves?

    The ability to have sex?

    The ability to raise a family together with another person?

    The ability to have a big party with over 200 guests that's going to cost $50,000+ and his female partner can wear a white dress and they can both cut a fancy cake?

    What exactly will marriage "add" to his life, that he (i. e., the man) actually wants?

    Because, as you're scratching your head thinking about non-BS answers to that question, I have a long list of non-BS reasons why a man should actually avoid marriage.

    But, those are just "counter-points." FIRST, there must actually be a "point" and case made "for" marriage, before any counter-points become relevant.

    So, in the absence of any non-BS and non-fluffy reasons why a man should get married, there's really not much else to talk about.

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What Girls Said 17

  • I don't get why lots of guys make their stance against marriage to be that it's a travesty of their rights and privileges. That if they choose to wed a woman, she'll be a complete shrew and make them her little bitch.

    Wise words; don't stick your dick in crazy. Of course your life will be miserable if you choose to wed a girl who is controlling or manipulative. Same applies if a woman marries such a male.

    As long as both parties are smart about who they choose to commit too, I see no wrong in marriage. I couldn't care less about what society thinks about it. If I love someone, I know I don't want to live a solitary life so as long as we're compatible in terms of many views plus sexual compatibility, it's definitely worth it.

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    • See the down votes, from poor men who just wants pity.

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    • Only stupid men marry today in USA. If you really love the person, just stay by one's side for the rest of live. Just it.

    • @kaylaS91 couldn't agree with you more. However none of the arguing back and forth even matters, because those that understand what a marriage is and want to be in one and make those commitments and want to marry the loves of their lives, will, and those men and women who want to stay alone and hoard their money, or want to be forever alone, or want to just sleep with whomever for the rest of their lives will. I hang with the former and leave the latter to their own devices. I care not if a man doesn't want to get married ever in life, I just know, as he should, that we will not be compatible.

  • I think men need to be more careful when it comes to marriage and children.

    I get really tired of seeing this, first of all prenups exist for a reason.

    Not every woman in the world needs or wants your money, some of us want our own careers and will always have them.

    Or here's a really crazy idea, how about take some personal responsibility, don't make babies and don't get married to someone who doesn't share the same future plans as you or who doesn't have a life of her own outside of you.

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    • Yeah but sometimes, the family courts don't even guarantee you prenups and some women can be very deceiving with their personalities (as soon as a man marries a deceiving woman, then she starts showing her true colors). For me, it's got very little to due with lack of commitment and responsibilities and more to do with the many different factors than can change and alter my future life plans. I'm all for having SOME of my personal freedoms stripped just to spend some quality time with a spouse and a kid as long as it doesn't take COMPLETE control over my life (my career, my personal hobbies, etc.).

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    • Prenups are useless, they can be thrown out by the court on a whim.

      When a 90 year old farmer divorces from his wife while the courts literally tear up the prenupital agreements and forces the 90 year old farmer to pay twice his monthly income in alimony, we've got a problem. It's not even the women doing this, it's the courts.

    • Really? i've seen people do prenups really well, so well that the other person actually left with less than they should have, I supposed every case is different though.

  • Ugh. Why does marriage have to be about gender? I think the concept is so stupid. Marriage isn't about what you gain out of it. It's about you loving someone enough to want to show them that they are the only one for you. For it to be about what someone gains and loses is just a pathetic attempt to make marriage unimportant.

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    • Why do you need to marry someone to say you love them tons? No-fault divorce lets you divorce because you got bored, literally.

      So why try to legally tie someone down? If you love someone and trust them, shouldn't their simple word be enough? Why involve the government?

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    • @DeltaDanner - It's NOT about gender. People (right now men especially since this is a question that a guy asked) just always want a way to make men look like helpless saps and women like evil queens.

      @ RationalMale @Mesonfielde - Why is it so bad to have a piece of paper that legally binds you? If anything, that is the ultimate sign of trust because you are really becoming one and trusting that that person won't just walk away when things get tough and leave with everything you have. Yes, you'll make the excuse that many people do that. BUT, so many people get married too early, for the wrong reasons. They get divorced for those same reasons and also because many people don't care enough to actually work things out.

      Marriage isn't the devil like so many people like to think. It's not for everyone, sure, but there's no reason to make it obsolete. It's sad that it's only become about how it benefits only one gender and not both. What is really that wrong with getting married?

    • @RationalMa

      What's wrong with marriage is that there is no actual point to it. Anything you gain from marriage, you can have it without it.

  • If you find the right person, who is matched for you it is worth it. The problem is people are lonely, and they just want to be with someone. So they get married even if they don't have a true connection. When I (hopefully) get married, I am going to make sure I can stand that person for the rest of my life. It won't just be some flimsy relationship to keep me from feeling lonely. I wouldn't ever marry for that person to support me either. I want to be a nurse, I am going to have my own job. I would be able to live by myself, on my income. I would find a person who I would want to be with, I wouldn't need them for financial reasons.

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  • No, definitely not worth it. The man has everything to lose and nothing to gain, thanks to the sexist courts and legal system.

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  • It wasn't long ago where many women felt that marriage was imprisonment of women and it was impoverish for any woman in the 19th century to want to be married and be subjected to not having freedom. Famous writer Wollstonecraft even based her poems on how she felt marriage was the worse thing any woman can face in life. She encouraged many women not to do it and to get an education instead. Just recently have men started complaining about marriage. Marriage was systematically set up so that the head of the household (the man) was in charge of everything, including finances. Woman could work, but her paycheck belonged to her husband. NOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. You see how things shift over time? It's VERY recent where you hear cases of women leaving marriages scot-free. Alimony and spousal support is a vicious cycle in today's marriages. Women are now the ones with the power. Not saying it's right, but I'm not saying it's wrong either. Its a choice... either don't marry or have her sign a prenup. I like the idea of a prenup. It's a fair agreement that as long as we stay together and married, our money is combined. The moment we separate and divorce, what's yours is yours and what's mine is mine. However, I'm sick of these questions and Takes about how marriage sucks so bad for men blah. Nobody is holding a gun to your head and saying to marry them. People marry for several different reasons and I think it's more to do with the stress of societal standards. Cohabitation is still looked down upon. Marriage is all about status. People will openly say they respect you more for getting married, especially if you're religious or hold a political position.

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  • It's worth it if people are actually mature enough and want to get married and know what could happen and accept all the responsibilities.
    If not - then no, it's not.

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  • Marriage is obsolete and despite having some tax benefits, it takes A LOT of work, commitment, stress and time to maintain a healthy one. I personally don't think it's worth for men or anyone for that matter.

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  • If you have a partner you truly trust then I don't see how marriage would be a bad thing

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  • Why should what other people do, affect how you should do? Are you capable of making decisions of your own? Are you not capable of finding one of the tons of good women, and avoid the few rotten ones? Are you just gonna be weak, blame the "mean, mean women" and play the eternal victim of circumstances?

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  • Gosh, ehy do i see all these anti marriage rants from americans these days! Marriage is breautiful if you are with the right person and mature enough to handle the responsibility and commitment.

    Men these days like to rant about how all women are aweful gold diggers when in reality there are 2 partys in a relationship or marriage. Not just a women alone fucks it up, most of the time its men as well as its bothsided.

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    • I am married to a guy from a culture where people are expected to get married. And they actually do know how valuable a wife or husband is.

  • doesn't a prenup help a lot?

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  • Yeah its worth it but if you want to give at like age 23 or whatever, its okay.

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  • NO. Run far, run fast. Be careful, women WILL chase you, since you are too valuable to be taken off the open market. You may need to hide in a cave somewhere.

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  • Random Benefits of Getting Married:

    1. For immigrants ~ US Citizenship

    2. Tax Purposes: You will receive a higher refund check filing jointly.
    there's More: turbotax.intuit.com/.../INF17870.html

    3. Medical coverage if you don't have it but your spouse does.

    4. You have more protection if your spouse dies. “If one passes away without a will, the state is going to dictate where your assets go,” Toal says. If your significant other still has parents and siblings in the equation when that happens, they may receive assets over a nonrelated boyfriend or girlfriend.

    5. If your significant other is in a car crash, you may have more difficulty seeing him or her at a hospital if you aren’t a blood relation or a legal spouse. And if a judge has to name someone to make healthcare or financial decisions on behalf of your partner, you may be overlooked in favor of a parent or sibling if you aren’t married. “What if the parents of the other person don’t like the significant other?” Toal says. “They will be in court battling for control of everything.”

    6. You can receive Social Security benefits. “Spouses have the option of filing for a spousal benefit, which gives them the potential to collect up to 50% of the other spouse’s benefit amount,” says Michael Lynch, vice president of strategic markets for Hartford Funds in Radnor, PA. There is also the possibility for a larger benefit upon the death of a spouse, he says. Imagine, for instance, that you are collecting $1,000 a month in Social Security benefits and your spouse is collecting $1,200 a month. If your spouse dies, you could start collecting survivor benefits of $1,200—a $200-per-month increase. As a domestic partner, you have no such option.

    7. You can receive survivor’s benefits from a pension plan. If your spouse is lucky enough to have a pension, and they’ve elected to have survivor’s benefits, you will continue receiving pension benefits after he or she dies. “The benefits are the biggest thing,” says Ted Toal, a financial planner with Rockwood Wealth Management in Annapolis. “Especially for those who are older.”

    8. You’ll qualify for an estate tax marital deduction. When one spouse dies, his or her estate passes to the surviving spouse, tax-free. That’s not true for domestic partners, and even though the federal exemption is fairly high—currently $5.34 million—the exemption in some states is low enough to catch even moderate estates.

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    • 9. IRA Benefits - An Individual Retirement Account can be used a few ways in the course of a marriage, including rolling over a deceased spouse's IRA to your own, or you can contribute to a spousal IRA, which is an account that lets an employed spouse contribute to an unemployed spouse's retirement account. There's one caveat, though: You must file a joint tax return to do this.

      10. Prenuptial Agreement Benefits, dividing assets fairly between the spouses should the marriage end - Domestic partnerships don't have this.

      11. Leave Benefits - Through your employer you can usually take a family leave if your spouse is sick, or bereavement leave if your spouse or someone in your spouse's immediate family passes away.

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    • As you show us, it is much more simple for a man just be with a woman that he loves and earn her own money without ever marry her.

    • @Rafael59000

      Your statement doesn't make sense & doesn't pertain to my comment at all

  • For a lot of men its that they can have their freedom and all the sex he wants with none of the responsibility and heartbreak

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    • Maybe if some women aren't so spoiled and expects a man to do every single thing for them until he dies, then maybe we wouldn't have been so turned off by the idea of marriage.

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    • I'm not surprised of what your most likely last response to my comment judgying by your age.

    • Defo bitter then lol

  • When I hear rhetoric like this, I run the other way. With most of the institutions of religion, marriage, politics, etc, in this country there are always going to be the bad. There will be people 'in the game' without knowing what the game is about, there will be people who want to destroy others, there will be people who selfishly only care about themselves, but when you start either feeling like, or pointing the finger in a sweeping motion at every body, and especially at all women who want marriage and claiming they are there as many have, to destroy men and rob them of their freedoms or simply claiming we want a man to protect us and nothing more, I am astonished and really feel as though you and others clearly have no idea what a marriage is about. I come from a family, extended, and immediate of marriages that have lasted decades and are still going. grandparents 53 years, parents 32 years, brother going on 3 years, aunts 23 and 18 years collectively and I someday want the same. If someone goes into a marriage thinking about money or only for some arbitrary reason, of course they will soon find out that it won't last long and things will go awry, but if you go in thinking as a unit... we want this for our future, we need to work through our problems, we need to support one another emotionally/financially/physically, however you define that, then you start to see why there is still a reason why marriage works for some. If you don't care for it, then so be it, but its unfair to assume the reasons why marriage can't work if you've never been around or experienced on that has and the reasons why it has.

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What Guys Said 25

  • Had the libturd feminilazis not done so much damage to the relationships between men and women this wouldn't be a problem.

    Be careful who you criticize for "sticking their nose into other people's business and micromanaging their lives", libturds are notorious for that.

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    • Why are you making this about liberals?

      It's like every American has this need to divide everyone into two groups, and then mindlessly bash the opposition.

    • @Kirah The asker started off by making it about "conseveratards". I likely would have simply pointed the finger at the feminist movement alone but if he wants to be broad about it, may as well blame the group of people responsible for 90% of the problems the US faces today.

  • Men get nothing positive out of marriage. Literally, nothing.

    In the olden days, where feminists tell us women were chattel slavery, a man married because it was an excellent way to have a constant companion/lover, kids, a family, and a home to go to at the end of the day. He knew that unless he really messed up, like became an alcoholic, or cheated, or started smacking his wife around, he would probably stay married, too.

    Not anymore. Now the only difference between a marriage and a relationship is that if you marry, you lose half your stuff and possibly alimony if she gets bored or cheats on you and dumps you.

    That, and you get more sex when you're dating. Marriage, it ends.

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  • While getting married and having kids is one of my dreams, I will never marry a woman if she's unwilling to sign a prenuptial agreement.

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  • I am married, but not happily. And I the main reason why I haven't divorced is 1. I will be screwed out of my child's life one way or another. 2. I will end up paying even more money than I do now to support them "as wife stays at home". 3 The trauma divorce causes children.

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  • Wow, Am I the only one who thinks it is worth it? Sad for those who think otherwise.

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    • Well, you're from Pakistan so maybe the societal situation in your country is different but here in the US, it's gonna make you want to reconsider ever getting married if you ever plan in living in the US.

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    • None taken. As much as I love my country for the amount of freedoms I have and the type of freedoms that I have, I really dislike the family system here, along with the US social media and certain parts of the justice system.

    • Are you white? Have you been to other countries, non western actually? You should go there you will feel a different kind of mentality.

  • If I hadn't got married, I wouldn't have lived here. And I think it just really depends on the way you take care of it. Because of me being Dutch and my wife being American, we were able to marry to the Dutch law. And allowed us both to have and an American and a Dutch passport as well, which has a hell of a lot benefits.

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  • Being married to the right person can be a truly wonderful experience. Being married to the wrong person can be a fate worse than death. It all starts with choosing the right person; it's not a decision to be taken lightly or quickly.

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  • Marriage is useless.

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  • I really think it depends on the type of person you are with. The woman who is different from the rest of the gold digging bitches.

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  • While a committed marriage is best for a stable society and raising children, it is currently not worth the risk for men to get married.

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  • Yes and no. Yes, if you find a woman who will make a good wife. But since most of these women are not worth the trouble, it has become a resounding no.

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  • I gotta love all upvoting men and the downvoting women when it comes to AGAINST marriage. Priceless!

    Kinda reveals who is on the benefiting side and who is at losses. And the battle will never perish.

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  • Clicked yes, meant to click no.

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    • Your destiny has been manifested.

      That was your last mistake muhahahaha >:D

      JK!

  • NO, it's not, i don't like sharing my MONEY, especially with a Woman, not saying there are not good Women in UK or the US, but these are few, i rather use my finances for myself.

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  • “If a relationship doesn't work out, it's usually not because of the challenges. It's usually because the relationship wasn't strong enough to begin with.”

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  • It will be worth it when shit hits the fan.

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  • I'll never marry. I'm not crazy. Unless I find a very, very rare blessed woman who loves me and I love too.

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  • Nope, don't worth it

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  • Marriage is extremely evil.

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  • Why the fuck would I get married? People but $10,000 into a wedding and get divorced 2 years later (usually the woman initiates it). Not worth it, especially when relationships don't even last a year anymore

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  • This is a tough call. I want to get married one day because I feel it's the right thing to do.

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  • Legal marriage has virtually no impact on how your marriage works, its simply setting financial terms for a divorce if it happens, and those terms, if you look at them, are almost certainly not what you'd choose. Nothing else is actually enforceable in any way, and maybe it shouldn't be. Being married doesn't make someone love you. It doesn't force them to work through problems. It doesn't make them consider keeping love, communication, intimacy alive a requirement if they don't feel like it in the future.

    It's basically like moving in together, with an extra bonus saying 'oh but if we break up, and I earn more than you, i will keep paying you money after. '

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  • Those houses in which women have a voice, are destined for misery.

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  • If a guy is stupid enough to get married today given what information is readily available, he deserves to have his wealth stripped from him.

    And NO, a fucking prenup isn't any real protection at all. A JUDGE **DOES NOT** HAVE TO HONOR A PRENUP.

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  • I would not have gotten married except that I got lucky and found an extraordinarily exceptional woman who wanted to marry me. It would not be worth it with anything less.

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