Why many girls think that babies bond two people together?

I think making child does not put two people closer. When you are mother you are only with child and you care only for him/her. You barely have sex because you are always tired and romance between people is mostly gone. Thing that people are together is mostly because of child (paying for child and living, growing up in complete family is for child most important). I think most of men see their wife as mother of thei rchild and not as their atractive wife anymore. So why do you think that it takes you more close and it's post beautiful think if it is most challanging decision in life?


0|0
11|7

Most Helpful Guy

  • Your argument is flawed, attractiveness doesn't need to be sexual always.

    1|0
    0|0
    • You know there are guys who are too much critic. If they were in hospital and watched their wife giving birth, that's problem for most of them, they change a view for their wife and see them more as mother than wife.

    • Stress on doesn't and always.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it really depends on the situation. If the guy loves his wife or girlfriend and she becomes pregnant, then yes I think it can bring them both together. But that would be because they already love each other.

    However, if a woman decides she must get pregnant with her husband or bf's child to keep the relationship, then I think it's only going to draw the guy away from the relationship/

    Sure, some guys may stay to try and be there for their child. However, if the relationship is truly doomed, then there is no way a child is going to help fix the relationship.

    My roommate actually went through this. He was with this girl and she is crazy They were dating on and off for a few months, and he decided he no longer wanted to be with her. Well, surprise, surprise she fell pregnant shortly after he told her that, even though she was apparently on birth control AND did Plan B.

    He stayed with her for his child's sake but it never worked out. Now he is not with her, but she still uses their child as a pawn. It's really a sad situation for the child. She thought that having this child would make him stay, but it didn't.

    Sure he's there for his kid, but not for her. He's got a new girlfriend and sees his child as much as possible.

    0|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 6

  • It probably comes from the 1500s through 1600s time period. During that time, the Elizabethian Poor Laws of 1601 came into being.

    Around that time, concepts like "legitimate" child and "bastard" actually meant something in the eyes of the law. Additionally, if a man "caused" a woman to become pregnant, it was tantamount to "causing" her to become a mother (i. e., have a child).

    Remember, these were pre Roe v. Wade and safe abortion or morning after pill times. Although the churches functioned as somewhat of a safe haven where destitute mothers could drop off their children, churches needed money (often turning to the governments for help).

    Prior to the Elizabethian Poor laws, society stepped in when the law worked too slowly to keep up. It was "shameful" for a man to "cause" a woman to become pregnant with his child, only to abandon her "and the child" to a life of poverty. This created what came to be known as a man's "moral obligation" both to the woman and the child. After all, by "causing" her to become pregnant, he was also the "cause" of a life destined in poverty (women could not be gainfully employed during this time), and a similar fate for the child.

    As a result, prior to the Elizabethian Poor laws, women "caught on." They would have sex with men in an effort to "morally obligate" the men to "marry" them. After all, if these men were going to have to spend the rest of their lives with this woman and her child, it only made sense to "save social face" and at least pretend that the intention was to get married all along.

    When the Elizabethian Poor laws actually became the law of the land in England (as a model that other countries adopted soon thereafter), the "tricks of the trade" were passed down from grandmother to mother, from mother to daughter, from sister to sister, from aunt to niece, even from father to daughter. This is where the mentality of "getting pregnant to TRAP him" arose from.

    Through the centuries, this 200 year old relic of history made its way into American society through the 1700s to 1800s. Yet, the clarity of its roots were not clearly remembered. Today, all that remains is this vague amorphous idea that somehow, some way, if you have a child with a man - it will somehow make him want to stay with you (or marry you), despite how different the legal and medical landscape is in 2015 compared to 1528.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I have to agree girls who get pregnant thinking that their going to save
    a relationship doesn't always work. My sister had my niece she was age 32,
    never no father in the picture cause my sister can't hold a man cause she's
    not looking for real love. My niece is now age 14, just went into her first
    year of High School this year but it's not made my family close. My dad
    he lives for my sister and the niece but never want make me part of their
    life's it's kind of sad that i love them all but they don't care and my niece
    makes good grades but i see her turning into how her mother made her
    i don't wish none of them bad luck but you know what they say about Karma
    but in my sisters case she shacked up with this man got pregnant had no
    care for not even for the child she was gong to bear and the man never
    had no job he would of most likely changed if my sister would of gave him
    a chance but that wasn't a case and my sister lived with another guy who
    was a friend of the family and here he has been in jail since 2009 for
    sexual abuse / predatory charges but yes i do agree it happens..

    1|0
    0|0
  • Because mother of your child is a stronger position to be in than an attractive wife. You can simply get divorced and split if it's just you two, but it's harder to let a third, not yet an adult, person down.

    0|0
    3|0
  • well it's been my experiences that this is quite the oppose me and my sisters brought my family closer together if anything, that's something I watched everyday when I grew up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • What? No, absolutely incorrect. I find my wife more attractive than before and want sex just as much. Every relationship is different.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It doesn't bond them together, emotionally, but, it will, financially (if she so chooses)

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 10

  • I have two children. I have a condition which means I may not be able to have a baby in the future so I decided to have children younger but my partner is a little older. Let me put this straight.. having a baby DOES NOT bond two people together, it dumps two people in at the deep end of a highly stressful and emotionally charged situation where you are both so tired and cranky that for the first 6 months you barely say a word to one another. I admit, my children come first, my partner second. I attend to their every need and my relationship with my partner does get strained because I am so busy running around after the kids whilst he works long hours to make ends meet. As for our relationship, we are more accepting of one anothers faults, we don't ever argue because we have better things to do and the relationship became more stable. There are times where we've bonded over our little bundles of joy and we feel more connected because we are a family unit not just a couple. He does see me as the mother of his children on a day to day basis but when the grandparents take the kids for a sleepover then my partner see's me as his carefree young girlfriend again. I love parenting and to me, life itself, is much for fulfilling but anyone who thinks a baby is a quick fix solution or to have to strengthen a relationship is very very wrong!

    0|0
    1|0
  • well if ur married and financially stable then it certainly does bring the parents closer together.

    ur basically subtly accusing many men of not giving a damn about something they created, and not only that, ur saying that many men suddenly view their woman as so transformed by the baby's existence that she is no longer as beautiful to him.

    there really isn't much logic in this mindset at all. too much gender roles and narrow mindedness present here. give a guy a break, far out.

    4|1
    0|0
  • You're right. Babies strain relationships; not fix them. Lack of sleep, energy, and free time can really put a relationship to the test, so you need to already have a strong relationship/marriage beforehand.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I agree that having child does not IN EVERY CASE put 2 people closer. But there are situations when it does, you are generalizing it. If 2 grown stabile people love each other and they both desire kids and decide to have them cause they both have the same dreams - yes it will bring them together.
    Also, you are wrong, maybe in some cases, but usually if you love a person you will still want sex with them and to care for them. Sure tal+king care of kids does occupy your time a lot.
    But don't get me wrong, I do get you and majorly agree with you. I don't even like kids and I think that they don't make any sense.
    But a lot of people have that strong desire to have them and that is good enough reason to have them. But this topic also includes a lot of different problems. Like the fact that people go in any kind of relationships with any kind of people and a lot of them just want to have kids, no matter with whom etc.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I kinda don't like children too. :/ When I am on fb they post 7979 pictures of their child -_- Its kinda annoying... MOst of women turn into mama bots and forget what life is about...

    • yeah, I figured you are like me about that. don't worry it's ok not to be crazy over kids
      just know that some desires you have like I don't know eg. meet the love of your life, a lot of people have the desire to have kids as equally stong as you wanting things you want and when you feel strongly about something it doesn't really need to make a lot of sense. we all just want to be happy and that means filling up our desires

  • I'm trying to understand what you are saying.

    Do you mean women who try to use a baby to make a man love him when he does not want to be with her or if she's trying to make him stay? If that Is what you mean then yes a woman who has a baby because she thinks a guy who does not want her will want her because of a baby will not make them closer. Especially if the guy wants nothing to do with her but the girl is desperate. Some women do that and it's messed up.

    0|0
    0|0
  • If they married it does

    0|0
    0|0
  • It does being people closer together if they're already close

    0|0
    0|0
  • I don't think it helps anything, especially if the two aren't already in some kind of committed relationship. Then what happens if the girl gets pregnant she may actualyy feel dumb and trashy telling him and more humiliated if she miscarries. So that argument is completely flawed.

    0|0
    0|0
  • I've never thought that.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's just a nice way of saying hey I trapped you.

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...