Girls and guys: how would you feel (and what would you do) if you found out your husband/wife of many years was actually a pedophile?

Acting or non acting pedophile.

This question was prompted by a pedophile's question on this site who is married and likes his daughter's friends (not sure if it's a troll yet though... just an interesting, yet obviously disturbing Q that came out of it).

  • Would divorce and report!
    64% (14)43% (10)53% (24)Vote
  • Would divorce.
    27% (6)22% (5)24% (11)Vote
  • Would kill.
    0% (0)13% (3)7% (3)Vote
  • Would be okay with.
    9% (2)22% (5)16% (7)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
Forgot to add 'professional help'. o. O
You can just type that as option E if you want.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No two words about it i would divorce any woman whose a pedophile
    that is just wrong in so many ways and speaking of the question in general
    i did see that question and i couldn't believe a man would have them intrusive
    thoughts about a teenage female whose underage that is just so wrong well
    that's why my sister does not allow my niece to stay at any friends house
    unless she did a background check on them and made sure they were safe
    you just never know this day and age what goes on with people there is too
    many shady people out there ,

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Most Helpful Girl

What Guys Said 10

  • I think A is the only thing I could think about... sjeez no one of us want to ever be in that nightmare :-(

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  • that would depend, if they are non acting and fighting it I would help them. if they were acting but on other peoples kids divorce and report, if our own kids, I would kill them

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  • If they have acted on it then I'd report and divorce them, if they haven't then I'd let it go but watch them closely. You can't choose your sexual preferences, only whether you act on them.

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  • "Acting or non acting pedophile."

    This has a pretty profound impact on my answer.

    Other questions:
    - are we talking about pre-pubescents, or young pubescents?
    - Are they exclusively interested in them, primarily interested in them, equally interested in them, or more interested in adults but also find them attractive?

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    • Acting or non acting - everyone provided options for both - as I stated in my Q.

      All - pre and post pubescent. Equally interested, maybe more so as they age.

    • Someone who is acting on it with actual children, I'm turning in, unless it's my kids, in which case I'll be turning myself in and pleading temporary insanity.

      Non-acting - encourage them to get therapy to help manage (probably not eradicate) the urge.

      If they are more aroused by kids and teens than adults then I'm not sure how WE can have a satisfactory sexual life. We'd likely be heading for separation in that case, though we might remain close. It would be in that sense like if they came out as a lesbian, I don't hate them, but uh... we should probably not be in a monogamous relationship.

      I'm not sure what it's like for women, but I think for males, finding some legally underage but post pubescent girls attractive (though not more attractive than women in their 20's for instance) is normal. It is natural to find women who are fertile attractive, and that means basically puberty to menopause, peaking at highest fertility, which is early 20s. So most men (I think) will see...

    • ... some mid teens that they find somewhat attractive on a physical level. But they wouldn't approach them if single, wouldn't be compatible, don't think it would be right, and its just... not a big deal. If they become fixated on that age range, they may need psychological support to avoid becoming a predator.

      So if my wife found some 15 year old guys hot, but wasn't focused on guys that age, I'd think nothing of it. TBH, I've heard mothers make comments about boys that age in my eldest's swim club. But they aren't only into guys that age, it's more a recognition that some of them are well on their way to being attractive young men.

  • I would divorce her.

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  • If they never acted on it then I'd just divorce them. If they did then I'd report them too

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  • For me it depends on how the term "pedo" is defined. Modern concepts of what an adult is, is very far from what it was, age wise, even 50 years ago. Most of human history, a woman was one who had a menstrual cycle. That would put the age range at 10-14 year old. I am OK with that.

    My first crush was an English teacher in her late 30s / early 40s. I raged at the world for criminalizing what I was feeling. I still wish I could have married her... I'm tired of this neoliberal "modern" ethics that is forced on us, unless we wish to be pariahs or even end up in prison! What an intellectually dishonest and down right hypocritical setup.

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  • Hmmm. Depends on whether she acted on it or not

    And if she did, it would depend on the age of the guys.

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  • A is the only reasonable choice.

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  • It seems that some guys think that her wife being a pedophile is no problem...

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What Girls Said 10

  • I thought the guy who liked his daughter's friends had a teen daughter and her friends had grown female bodies. That's not a pedophile, that's any normal man. :/

    As for you Q: If he has self control, never will and never did act on it, I'll stay as long as our relationship was loving. If he acted on it, I'd divorce instantly.
    I'd also separate if we had young children together. I wouldn't take them away for good and I wouldn't forbid him from seeing the kids completely, but we would not live under the same roof with him until they're older.

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    • But that normal man knows his daughter and her friends are 12 - how normally womanly can their bodies be? (+ their faces are still of babies).

      Good answer.

    • Asker it doesn't matter what he knows about their age. His dick doesn't think. It reacts to adult female shape.

  • It depends. If they had these urges that they were controlling and fighting against but still suffering from, then I would go with them and seek professional help. I'd be scared and confused but I don't want to give up on them when it's not their fault. If they refuse to do that, or they've acted on their urges, then I'm going to divorce and report them.

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  • I couldn't stay or invest my time into someone like that.

    I remember the question and not sure if he was a troll or not, honestly I don't think it's that abnormal for a man to be physically attracted to an older teenager, like 16-17, some of those girls do look like adults. What creeps me out is the fact that their faces normally still look like a teenagers/kids and the amount of detail he went into was just creepy. I don't think it makes you a pedophile to look at someone with a nice body and think they have a nice body but to go further into it, like ignoring their obvious teenager/child like face and their teenage personality, is what is creepy to me.

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    • He was talking about girls from 12 to 17. O. o

    • Show All
    • I think both of you have a good grasp of what's normal, and yes, what's normal is sometimes not talked about because it would be unethical to pursue it. But some guy has been asking questions recently that suggest a pathology/focus on the young, not the normal 'some 15 year olds look like attractive young women especially with makeup, but they're not so we leave them alone'. He gives the impression that he wants to steer the conversation to normalizing things that are outside the acceptable range by pushing down a slope.

    • Yeah I think so too, he went into way too much detail, I think he wants validation for his wrong thoughts and you're right, it's a lot more than just thinking "oh that 16 year old is pretty".

  • I would definitely urge them to seek professional help, if they would refuse to do so however, there's no doubt I would divorce them and report them.

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  • A pedophile is different from a child molester.. the first one just has urges and from my understanding most pedophiles aren't strict pedophiles, they just have a 'wider age range' of people they're attracted to, the second one has committed a crime.
    If he's the first, I'd either choose E and maybe B. If he's the latter, I'd choose A.

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  • Depends if he ever did something with it. I would feel betrayed that I was his mask. If he did something with it, seeking professional help. Otherwise just divorce.

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  • If he acted on it divorce

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  • I would be so shocked that I never knew and feel like an idiot.

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  • Mami >.<
    They should do a scary movie based on that..
    I'd watch it tho. Thats the kind of creep I am.

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  • As long as they didn't act on their impulses, I'd be OK with it.

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