My boyfriend of 9 years is one of the grooms men to his best friends wedding. I knew that his friend was getting married because I have him as a friend on Facebook and his named was tagged on a post the his girlfriend posted and I saw it on my feed. This was like a little over a year ago. His wedding is the end of this month (September). one night My boyfriend came in at 1am I woke up and saw that he was putting an envelope inside the drawer. Next morning I looked inside and it was an invitation for the wedding with his name and a plus guest. He never told me. He was not planning on telling me. He did no want me to go. I waited for him to bring it up. He mention how HE was a groomsmen and how was HE going to get there and how where was HE going to stay. Never "WE" just "HE". Finally a month ago I confronted him about the wedding and the invitation. He admitted he was not going to tell me or take me and his excuse was because we fight a lot. I know he does not want me there because I am an embarrassment and because when we broke up he talked so much shit about me to his friend (groom) We broke up, I was dating someone and he accused me of cheating after we broke up. And he told his friends girlfriend (the bride) and her sister that I cheated on him. This was 3 yes ago. by the way he cheated on me 3 times. We got back together and we live together now. I feel he is still resents me and is embarrassed to introduce me as his girlfriend. Now he has no way of paying for anything no tux no rental car or hotel. He lost his job. Now he wants me to go to the wedding. And I feel it is because he wants me to pay for everything like I do everything else. I'm defiantly not going but it saddens me and pisses me off at the same time. Any advice?
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After reading all of this... I am trying to figure out what is the glue that is holding the both of you together?
Your relationship seems so dysfunctional.
The bigger picture here is,
are you to even compatible?
Should you two even continue to be together?
And if so, you both have to stop this war you have with each other.
Figure out a better route of communication and solving your problems.
I think you both should start over.
Write about how your relationship currently makes you feel.
Then write about how you WANT it to make you feel.
Write things down that you both wish to change.
Exchange papers and read them out loud.
Agree on becoming better for each other.
Your relationship will not last like this.
After this talk, being willing to let the past be the past.
Move on together.
If you choose to pay for him going to the wedding... then do so.
The bigger thing here is, you both have to be putting in efforts to make things work.
If you don't even trust him because of the betrayal he did to you in the past, then don't even give this any thought.
Leave him permanently!0