Help! I don't want to invite my bridesmaid's boyfriend to my wedding. What should I do?

my friend is coming out as a bridesmaid in my wedding. From the beginning of my wedding planning and her accepting to be my bridesmaid, she has been very clear that she does not see a future with her current boyfriend. She is planning to leave him soon. Daily she talks about how she can't stand him and how she can't wait to leave his house. I am not happy that her plan is to use him since he doesn't charge her rent and leave him once she has the money she needs to buy a car. Her family has offered to help and their house but my friend doesn't want to pay rent so she stays with her boyfriend since it's free and endures the horrible relationship they have. Recently I sent out the invites for my wedding and have been clear with her thT I do not want him at my wedding. First, it's not a serious relationship. second I've only met him once and third, she says he's a complete jerk who has been abusive with her and would get mad that she would help/focus on me and not him on my wedding day. She wants me to invite him because it would alleviate a potential problem if he finds out he's not invited. Meaning it will ruin her plan of using him until she saves her money. She said he would not let her use his car if he didn't go. I offered to pick her up and have her stay at our hotel and tried to give her options to make things easier for her. I let her know that I'm very tight on money since both my fiancé and I are Paying for the whole wedding. Our wedding is small and is only for close friends and family. It seems like I try to help her and give her options to get out of her situation but she wants to do things a certain way and is being stubborn. She's always getting sick and her health has been a big problem due to their relationship but she refuses to go back to her family without a car. putting her health at risk is not worth it and although it will take her a little longer to get a car by staying with her family she wouldn't be in a bad relationship that is affecting her health. I feel like she's putting this piece a crap guy and her selfishness in the way Our friendship. She needs to understand that she's in this situation because of the mistake of being with this guy and I can't fix it by having him there at the wedding. Am I right for not inviting him?


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  • I wouldn't invite him either, why cause possible drama at your wedding if she makes him mad, honestly I don't think she really wants to leave. .. depending on abuse what's it going to take her being almost killed to make her wake up?

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    • exactly! I told her the same thing. she even had the nerve to tell me that she's trying to be there for me and that I'm making it hard for her to do that. She's making it hard for herself! And giving me unnecessary stress.

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    • Thank you and really appreciate your advice! :)

    • of course any time

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