Normal to fight?

so here's the thing, my fiance and I have dated for almost three years, and have only been engaged for a few months, our engagement is going to be 2-3 years long...

in our first year of going out we never fought and we were completely happy and in love and care free and all this lovely stuff, but now we fight, not like serious crap..

its actually most of the stupidest things.. like not seeing each other that much because of work and school.. or the other day he invited me over, but when I got there I waited outside for ten minutes and I had to pee so I left to pee and planned on coming back, but he got upset because I left... and there's more random stuff that causes us to fight that's just so silly, but we've never fought this much and it scares me.

Is it normal?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Normal ? I would say it's normal, I wouldn't say it's what a healthy relationship is like, I have been with someone for two and a half years without having any but two disagreements and they were actually having to do with family, rather, our respective families. Often when we go out, people think we have just started dating, as we are always having a blast with one another.

    I think, as both of the disagreements we did have were geared at "the relationship" and how it should be, I figure is that same mind frame, that there is such thing, that gets people in trouble. There's nothing to bind you both together, really, I think all this abstraction we create of a little private world. Think about it, it's the same as when you were a child and there was always that one kid in the playground that nobody could stand because they were always dictating how things should be all the time, in his own little world, no fun. That's how I see a lot of couples acting like, so, I think this is a sad state of affairs; it's what happens when you two create your own little world, eventually one wants to take it one way and the other another way, before you know it, you are living in different illusions.

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What Guys Said 2

  • In a way yes. It depends on how you deal with the outcomes, AFTER a fight. Fighting is normal for the most part because your both two individuals learning to live together, and plan for the future. You won't agree on everything. And that's something you'll have to learn. So yes it's all "normal". But remember, it's how you compromise and DEAL with the fights that count. Not the fights themselves.

    Here's a few pointers. Do not try to "win" a fight. Learn to talk it out. Try to respect each others opinions, no matter how conflicting they are with yours.

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  • Its normal to fight. From what I have heard its actually healthy. I personally believe that your going to fight a lot because your so young and have not had a chance to go out and explore. GL with your engagement. I wish you the best.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Yeah it normal , we at least it has been in my past relationships. My 3 year relationship with my ex, pretty much like you, the first year we never would fight , but then after awhile we had fights over stupid stuff , like if he said he would call me in 5 mins and he called in 20 minutes , it would turn into a huge fight. I just wanted it to go back to the day's we were to afraid to hurt each other. But yeah..its normal don't let it get you down, if you feel a fight coming on , just remember its not worth it and both just take awhile to clam down.

    xo

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  • It's normal to fight. It just means you guys are getting used to each other. I have the same stupid reasons to fight with my boyfriend as well. I couldn't get to see him much, etc. I even brought up a fight that led to break up because he was with his family and I came to visit him at the wrong time. He told me to come back when they get home and I said forget it. And I went home. When he got him, he wondered where I was. Just be careful though that you learn to cope with your problems. Get over the stupid things. Learn from your mistakes and pick up with a serious fight because the petty fights could lead to worser things. Take a deep breath and say f*** it, this fight is not worth it. If you love him, you'd get over it.

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