Marriage issue? please help?

i have been dating my man for two years, we are about to get into our third year. I am 27, he is 29. I have been quite eager to get married since the onset of our relationship but my boyfriend seems to be confused. Today he says he wants us to work towards marriage, and then tomorrow he says he is not sure. I hear it takes guys a longer time to be sure than girls, but now I am beginning to wonder how long? this is going to be our third year.

When I try to threaten him with breakup, he begs me to give him some more time, but it still turns out the same, confusion.

On the contrary, he is wonderful , treats me well, spends every spare time he can with me and makes me happy, but he is JUST not sure.

I am getting old oh, and I don't want to hang on to not sure for another 1 year.

He has introduced me to all his siblings, and told his parents about me this Xmas and says he wants me to spend Easter with him and his parents, is that a sign that he is getting sure? He calls my mum almost every three days and they are best of friends. I am confused. Why would he be doing all this if he is not sure?

I love him, he makes me happy, and spending the rest of my life with him is what I want. I don't want to break up and end up losing him and marrying someone I don't love half as much, on the contrary I don't want to wait and after two years, he finally decides he doesn't want!

I recently brought up the topic again yesterday and he just lapsed into that confused state, telling me that he is confused and unsure, begging me to give him time. he kept saying he loved me, I was the best thing that happened to him, and he doesn't want to lose me. please advice me.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • You can't force a guy to marry you. I have been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years. WE talked about marriage and I told him that I want to get married and after I finish grad school we are going to talk about it. If he is not ready or unsure he wants to marry me - I am moving on. But he wants to think about it and be ready to committ 100% with me and be financially stable. But I do not ask him everyday - we talked then and we will again in half a year. You pressuring him and ask him constantly only pushed the moment farther AWAY ... if ever. Trust me ... you would NOT want him to marry you because of your pressure or making him chose this or that. If you marry because of the pressure he might resent you later on... Guy has to be ready. Give him a timeline -- maybe 4 years and say you are moving on if not because you will be 30 soon. My mom married at 33 and had kids and it all turned out okay! Good luck

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  • He sounds like a wonderful guy. But some men are just really indecisive. They can be indecisive for life! Personally I hate indecisive men.

    I understand women being under pressure to marry before a certain age, but this stress is VERY unattractive to men, since they don't share the same biological clocks.

    I would listen to my own inner voice, if I were you.

    If he's really a fantastic guy and adores you without confusion, I'd hang on to him and wait for his emotions to catch up. If he's indecisive and can't say "I love you" because he secretly thinks there might be someone better, or he thinks he's too young and still needs to go out and see other women, then I'll drop him. You make the call. Good luck!

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