To go to movies, gym, dinner together? And play video games online with her on PC or PS3? I also go out with drinks with her. My wife slapped me when she saw me hug her goodbye, and now I have to sneak out to see her. Her husband also was angry at both of us. Is it cheating to hang out with my female best friend when I am married?
Most Helpful Girl
Me, single, and them, my married friends, have had this conversation a few times and according to them, when you are married, the rules of relationships change dramatically when it comes to the opposite sex. We know from what society has shown us that hiring a hot nanny or pool boy can often lead straight to divorce, so there is something to keeping ones good eye on whom you invite into the home or whom your spouse hangs out with. It's not that you think they will (or hope they won't) cheat on you per se, its just no one wants to give anyone else an opportunity to do so. So hanging out with said friend with the wife present. Good. Hanging out with the friend with a group of your and/or your wife's friends. Good. Telling your wife well in advance that you are going to hang out with said female friend at this time and date doing this activity and checking in with her during. Good. Sneaking out to hang out with said friend without wife's knowledge and despite her objections... will not end well for you the millisecond she finds out (and trusssst, she will). Just listen to yourself on that one. If you found out your wife had been say sneaking out to see her "good friend" instead of going to book club twice a week, would you just be cool with that? Doubtful. If the friend really and truly is a friend, you shouldn't be spending more time with her than your wife, and you shouldn't be sneaking around. If you want to hang out with her be honest and upfront about it to your wife and also respect your wife. If she feels uncomfortable around this woman, is there some truth behind that... I mean, you are sneaking around with her (even as friends).0
Most Helpful Guy
That really depends. Did this person come into the picture after you were married? That's a little strange, and would give good reason for her to be suspicious.
My situation is the same, yet different. When I first met my wife, she was introduced to my gal pals. I have a shitload of girl friends, and very few male friends. My wife saw how I interacted with them over the years and got accustomed to it.
My wife doesn't particularly like scary things, video games or swimming, so she refuses to do these things when I ask. If I want to watch a scary movie, she will actually suggest I go with some of my girl friends because she understands the nature of those relationships. I also go with a particular girl to the arcade who is good at games. And in the summer, I will gather a bunch of girls to go to the waterslide park... and my wife will not go.
When I'm in one of my "loner" moods, and neglect to call my girl friends for many many months, my wife will ask, "When's the last time you hung out with Carmen?". If I haven't called Carmen for 6 months or so, the wife will secretly text Carmen using my phone - pretending it is me - and set up a hang-out date to get me out of the house. So I am doing the same thing as you, except I do not hide anything.
It's partly whether your wife feels like she can trust you, and also whether she knows the girls you hang out with. If you're sneaking out to do things without telling her, you're just adding fuel to the fire.0