My girlfriend thinks I don't love her because I don't want to get married. Help?

We talked about this over the weekend, I thought I had made it clear that it's not that I don't love her or I don't love her enough, it's just that I don't want to go through this right now, it's too much money and time for me at this moment. Maybe in the future, but I'm not sure I want to get married at all. Anyway, she thinks it's because of her, which is far from being true. I don't know how we can solve this.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't think there is any way to change her mind.

    Almost every woman wants to get married at some point. They want the whole wedding shebang - planning something that in her mind will be perfect and something she will never forget. Have you asked her why marriage is so important to her? I'm not saying someone else's opinions should change your opinions, but maybe if you saw her reasoning, if it was a deep enough and an understandable enough reason, you may change you mind... one day. If it's just "because that's what you do! thats how we have a family!" then, in my opinion, she has the whole idea completely wrong.

    Personally, I don't need to be married to be happy. I've been married before, and it ended badly. I value what I have with the person I'm with more than what everyone else sees.

    Good luck!

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    • She says that she'd love a wedding party, a wedding dress and all that stuff, and that all of her friends are getting married. I honestly don't carw about what her or my friends do.

    • To me, that sounds like she is so into it "because all her friends are doing it". Someone who genuinely wants to get married for the RIGHT reasons would care if it was a simple court-house thing... not that she deserves something so... nonchalant... just trying to make a point.

Most Helpful Guy

  • That's silly, love has nothing to do with being marrird, look at those arranged marriages besides marriage isn't for everyone, I know I won't do it again but will probably have a live in partner. Look at Kurt Russell and Goldie Hawn , they have been together for years with doing that

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    • I know. It doesn't make much sense to me either

What Girls Said 1

  • If that's how she feels, I don't know if there's a way to change that.

    It sounds like marriage is pretty important to her. I think you should really think about what you want, and if you can't see yourself getting married, she needs to know that. Don't dangle that hope that you might change your mind one day in front of her, she will only resent you for it later when the answer is still no. She has to figure out if she wants to stay with you even if marriage is off the table.

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What Guys Said 4

  • I can understand and it's normal of a woman to think like that after a period of time. okay, so if you never had any plans to get married did you tell her this before starting the relationship itself? or do you just not want to get married for now? or for a few more years?

    Anyways marriage is not a medium to prove your love to your girlfriend. That's what I believe.

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  • I know you've said you thought you made it clear but apparently it wasn't clear enough. Make sure that you clarify that it's not because you don't love her or because of anything she's done and that it's just something you're not interested in right now.
    You may also have to consider that maybe you should respect that she wants to get married and go through whether it's something you'll do anyway because you love her

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    • Thanks for your input

  • If you think that you never want to get married, you know that she wants to get married, and you truly love her. . . shouldn't you do the kindest thing possible and break up with her?

    And if you love her, shouldn't you be honest about your reasons? Too much money and time? There are people who go to the courthouse and get married on their lunch hour with no fancy, expensive wedding. You simply don't want the responsibility of being married and you want to stay with her as long as she will put up with your stall and delay tactics, right?

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    • I know but she wants a big party in a fancy venue with a fancy dress...

    • And no, that's not what I want. We're officially together, I lover her deeply and I eveb want to have kids with her. It's marriage and the whole fancy expensive thing I'm not interested in and I can't afford.
      If she wanted to get married just signing a paper I wouldn't mind, but she doesn't

    • Hopefully, you only get married once, and women spend heir entire life dreaming about getting married, the details of he wedding, picking out baby names when they haven't even met Mr. Right. It is an emotional matter for them and your response is a major disappointment to her.

      If you want her to make your dreams come true, you need to make her dreams come true.

  • If she actually thinks you don't love her because you guys won't ever get married then thats her problem..

    Thats not
    How live works

    Love=marriage

    Marriage is pathetic and stupid

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