What is wrong with lining up someone else whilst your in a relationship/married?

Lets say you're simply unhappy (not in an abusive marriage) & getting ready to leave. Why should you make yourself single before finding someone else? Whats wrong with lining up a replacement?

Take getting a new car for example in an ideal world you wouldn't sell your car if you didn't have another one to replace it with (unless you can't afford it but you know what I mean).

So why do soooo many people call these people cheaters, or not worthy gf/bf/wife/husband material?

Updates:
For those wondering or slagging me off. I'm not a troll. This was just something that crossed my mind & was just curious that's all.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't cheat and I expect the same in return. If you are having problems, you dont cheat, you work them out. If you can't work them out then you get help and you don't cheat. If you can't work them out, you separate and you don't cheat. Only after you have told the other person that you are through, should you find someone else. Period.

    Just my opinion.

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What Girls Said 13

  • I just see it as tasteless. I've always been a firm believer in staying single for a while after breaking up, too. I just don't see jumping from relationship to relationship as a healthy thing. You will most likely bring a lot of baggage from the old relationship and your mind needs to calm down before jumping into something new again. If you can't be alone, even for a little while, after ending a relationship... then you're weak. You're too dependent on other people. Even if you saw it coming a long time ago and you've already checked out emotionally, spending some time alone with yourself will give you some fresh perspective on things and you'll be able to completely move on from your old relationship. Even if you don't have feelings for them anymore, you still need time to adjust to the change. I just don't see how that could ever happen overnight, especially if it was a long-term relationship.
    Getting a new car is a bad analogy since there are no feelings or emotions involved. At least not the same kinds of feelings you get when you're in a relationship, or ending it. Like I said, the emotional baggage is something you need to get rid of before entering a new relationship. I don't think I'd be able to trust a guy who jumps from relationship to relationship with such ease. I don't think he's a suitable partner as a whole either, because having to be in a relationship 24/7 without any real break ups or time alone shows clinginess, dependency and desperation.

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  • It's just a shitty thing to do. If you do this, you're telling your soon to be ex you don't have enough common decency to do that when the split is complete.

    It's tasteless and it can be extremely hurtful, if you're initiating a split while the other party is still in love with you.

    "I just can't wait to get rid of you." is what you're saying to the person you're separating with.

    I agree with the notion that such a person is considered a cheater and not bf/gf material. Someone who lacks the most basic form of respect in that regard isn't someone I consider to be a quality human being.

    If you think such a scenario is comparable to replacing an object such as a car, it speaks volumes about your morality and how you treat other people.

    Disclaimer: "you" is used as a general you, rather than specifically referring to asker.

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  • In case you haven't noticed, people aren't vehicles.

    It's called common human decency and apparently you haven't got any.

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    • Not me this is just a general question

  • Ummm cos people aren't cars?

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    • That was an anology my way of trying to word it differently. I didn't mean literally just an example.

    • I did catch on to that but my comment is still valid. There are a lot of feelings, emotions etc to a break up having someone on the sidelines is cold hearted. Also would you really want someone happy enough to be waiting around know someone's world is going to be thrown into devastation. That's pretty calculated and those kinda people can stay out of my life

    • I agree with you. I thought you were defending it at first. Sorry

  • Maybe people find a replacement because they have nowhere else to go? Who knows. I try not to judge other people when it comes to other people's relationships. The only people who truly know what goes on in a relationship, is the people in them. If I had a friend who needed to leave a relationship, I would be more than happy to provide a place to stay.

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  • because sooo many guys will say they're going to leave their spouse/gf for you and never do it.

    line up the next one but don't lead her on and don't string along your wife/gf. find the next one and as soon as you know you guys are compatible break it off with your main lady and go for it for real

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  • Personality I feel like u shouldn't just come out of a relationship then to go straight into another one. U need time to move on be single enjoy be on your own get to know yourself again as reLTionships change people and have fun have a few hook ups go on casual dates and then go and meet someone

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  • The fact that you compare a wife to a car just screams ASSHOOOOOLE!

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    • That was an example i didn't mean literally i couldnt think of another way of putting it. And read my update

    • I already read the update before answering.

  • Because people are human not cars or something else.

    And it's morally wrong.

    You stay faithful until you are divorced.

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  • No , that goes against my morals and beliefs. We all have different definitions of what a human should act like so your entitled to do as you please, but my question is would you like it if someone dis that you?

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  • Sounds like you are afraid to be alone and you are insecure. Trust me this will come back to in the form of karma when you meet a girl you like as a line up who has a line up guy as well and you won't like it

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    • Also I think you are a troll

  • Why not try to fix and repair a relationship already? Since you say it isn't abusive... if a relationship is (physical or verbal) then it's understandable to end it and move on. But most issues can be worked out, it just takes time. So many people these days want to jump ship and take the easy route instead of fixing the issue (s).

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  • Why should you derive the benefits of the relationship you say you hate while playing the field? It's deceitful and selfish.

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What Guys Said 19

  • Instead of putting all of their resources into fixing the problem, they're planning a way to jump out of it. Real love has no limit on how much effort you need to put into it. It should be taking everything you have, and if you aren't doing everything you can, then you aren't good enough.

    You don't give up on your child when he's failing, and then just plan to have another one as a backup. Same thing.

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  • Human beings aren't things, you don't replace one with another.
    Outside of that it's just a matter of respect. If you've been in a relationship with a person then you should show respect to them by not getting into a new relationship while leaving them, and it's only right to show respect to somebody you want to be in a relationship with by not still, whether it's ending or not, being in a relationship with another person when you want to start one with them. In addition it's kind of tactless to immediately start a new relationship while coming out of another one. It implies that the old relationship meant nothing to you.

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  • Okay, other than this small problem nothing is wrong. The small problem is you are "ready to leave" but you haven't left yet. you haven't divorced the other person yet. Hence no matter what kind the person they may be you first need to fully leave your marriage, get divorced and then go ahead with what you want to do.

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  • You expect a girl to show you respect dude , this would be an all time low as far as being disrespectful. And in my opinion is cheating

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  • How is this a questions, mate? You are pretty much forsaking a relationship when there may still be hope and worth a shot. Don't do that, don't waste all that time the both of you have invested into this relationship, instead work on it

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  • I can relate. I was in such a situation where my ex-wife asked for divorce, but did not want to move out of my home until she finished nursing school a year later. So I went out looking on my own. The ex did not like this, but since she had moved into another room of the house and would no longer sleep with me, I did not care.

    My ex wanted to continue to have structured "dates" as well, but I told her that she couldn't have her cake and eat it too, and that the price of emotional intimacy on my part was physical intimacy on her part.

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  • With that description and ideology I understand why you're unhappy with your marriage.

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  • Because relationships are about respect. If you don't like it, don't become a POS by disrespecting your partner and leave instead.

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  • the wrong thing is that as long as you´re in a relationship, both partners "usually" agree that they are exclusive.

    by lining up someone else, you break that agreement because you stop being exclusive without telling the other person. easy as that.

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  • It's a sign of disrespect. In an ideal world, you wouldn't have to sell your car because your car would always work and run for eternity. Vehicles don't have feelings like people do. If you think so, then you are a complete nut. In other words, bad analogy. Nice try, though. If you are so unhappy, why not just leave? You are wasting not only your time, but her time as well. You might as well cut your ties immediately. It's not like a job.

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  • Because you are supposed to have enough respect for people as people that you don't USE them for whatever you're using them for in your relationships unless you are planning to HAVE a relationship. Duh!

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  • Because people aren't cars?

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  • Yeah, but I'm positioning myself with a chick who's already got a boyfriend so I guess I can't be too judgmental.

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  • ... there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with that.

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  • Nothing wrong with it, girls/women in general do it anyway.

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  • Interesting way of looking at it, I'm doing the same thing now since I'm getting divorced

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  • I think you can scout for candidates in the sense that you can eliminate possible singles who are not suitable and keep a mental list of who you think would be ok, but the minute you actually interact and the flirting goes to the next level, then it's the same as cheating.

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  • Because if you're in a bad relationship, you should take some time to recover before you go diving in to another one. It's also disrespectful to your current partner, no matter how unhappy you feel.

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  • Honestly, why bother getting married today? It simply complicates the process of breaking up.

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