Do you guys think its okay for a guy to propose without the father or parents permission?

So I'm engaged now and both of my parents like my Fiance and had an Idea that he wanted to marry me. I let them both know that if he ever did propose we aren't going to be married right away but 5+ to get our lives ready. So talking to my parents they said they wished he'd asked their permission before proposing. The thing is they already like him and knew we'd eventually be married. So whats the big idea... What do you guys think, does this matter?

Updates:
He didn't ask them but we are engaged and my parents are fine with it. Its just something they mentioned to me that bothered them a bit.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it all depends on the girl. this day in age there is certainly no rule than men have to ask but it may be a nice courtesy

    in my situation I wanted to simply tell my wife's family I planned to propose but she felt like it was antiquated institution that suggested that somehow she needed her parents ok to marry someone. So she was firmly against me asking her parents or even telling them I was going to propose

    so it is kind of up to you. if you don't want him to ask your parents tell him and tell your parents it is your desire for him not to ask. IF you are for him asking or neutral and your parents would prefer it then you should tell him he should probably ask

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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends on the girls relationship with her parents.
    That's what it comes down to really, and it's something that the guy should already know about if he's been with her long enough to propose.
    If you are a family orientated person, and therefore very close to your parents etc, it would be a common courtesy to the family to ask. Only because it's not just about proposing and committing to her, but as she's so close to them it's about committing to her family as well.
    I'm sure there are many instances where it may be confusing, especially if she or her family aren't that traditional... So it's understandable if he didn't ask.
    But i guess for me, being close to my family means that anyone trying to put a ring on it needs to ask them first... if for no other reason than for them to warn him of what a huge mistake that would be.. lol

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What Guys Said 7

  • Did you ever mention to your S. O. that you wanted him to ask them first? Or did they mention to you growing up that they wanted to be asked first?

    I believe in asking before proposing, as a sign of respect and tradition. But I understand how some people would not agree with me. There are situations where the parents aren't in the picture or don't approve of the relationship so people will skip that part.

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  • I think it depends a lot on who the parents are, if they are old fashion they yes, but if not I wouldn't worry about it

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  • It depends on females relationship with parents

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  • It's ok for me because either way the parents will kill me.

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  • It's normal but I think it's out of respect to ask

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  • Yes I think it is okay.

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  • Are you saying, he didn't ask them at all, or they just completely declined him marriage, after asking?

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What Girls Said 5

  • I know I'm female and you asked guys but I personally wouldn't want my family asked for permission. I think it depends on the girl at the end of the day but I would be offended if he felt the need to ask my parents, I'm a free agent, I probably wouldn't even ask for their blessing. They could give it or not, it's about your happiness at the end of the day, not theirs.

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  • Yea he doesn't have to have my dads permission. That dude is barely in my life as is

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  • Yeah, it is okay, you're marrying an adult who can take decisions by themselves, you're not marrying their parents.

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  • It matters to me since that's the idea I am used to.

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  • I believe for being married it is important for me at least everything else is just as it goes along

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