His ex wife is getting married- when will it be my turn?

I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half- he went through a nasty divorce about a year before we got together. She left him and they have 2 little girls.(ages 7 and 9) We just found out that the ex is engaged after having only been with her new fiancée about 6months. He knows that I want a wedding and more children and I feel like this happening is going to slow the process down. Not to mention the questions that the children will ask. The girls have really been pushing for us to get married and I feel like now it is going to be a lot of pressure. Them pushing it because we have been together much longer and their mom is getting remarried. He is also concerned that if he proposes anytime in the near future it will look like he is doing it because they are engaged. I am moving completely in with them as my lease is about up, and that means stepping into playing mommy every other week. I love these girls but I do feel like I deserve a commitment in return. I am trying to be sensitive about the subject with him because I know this is hard on him too, but when I ask just for a general timeline (like will we be engaged within a year) or anything about just where his mind is at with marriage he doesn't really answer me. I am giving a lot and giving up a lot of personal space to live with them and I just want to know that I will get more in return. My family is concerned if I live with them without the proposal I will essentially be used as a mommy/nanny. I was never concerned about this as we had discussed purchasing a house and combining incomes, even wedding plans. I am now starting to get worried. Any advice or opinions?


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What Guys Said 1

  • It will just take time for him to heal from that. It seem like she is doing things to keep him hurting so he won't be able to move on. A good thing you can do is let him know you are there for him and say we will get through this together because you want to be te wife his ex never have been to him.
    I hope he snap out of it because life goes on and he have to learn how to move on in life to keep living because she is living hers.

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    • Thank you! Reading this helps a lot. he's made worlds of progress- things like this just set him back a lot- likely it feels like a direct attack on him.

    • He just have to realize that it's time to move on. I know it's struggle having kids by his ex wife and he's thinking about the kids future and them being around another man hurt but the only thing he can do is his part as a man and move on and focus on what's in front of him and thats you.

What Girls Said 1

  • You've talked about wedding plans and your obviously very young, so slow down, give him time...

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