When you get married, will you hyphenate?

I personally will probably hyphenate. Not sure tho.

Guys do you care if your wife wants to hyphenate the names or keep her own name?

  • Keep your last name
    34% (25)48% (21)39% (46)Vote
  • Take his last name
    60% (44)48% (21)56% (65)Vote
  • Hyphenate yours and his last name
    6% (4)4% (2)5% (6)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I certainly wouldn't force someone else to give up their name just to support some kind of messed up ego-trip of mine...

    Hyphenation, or keep it; if they really want to get rid of their names, then go for that, but I don't really care if they do or not.

    I kinda like my name, so I wouldn't want to give it up. Can the husband even give up their own name and take the wife's? I wonder.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'm not changing my name or hyphenating, i'll just keep it all together. It would be odd to write someone else's name and I have no interest in doing it at all. I don't want to "become one", i'm perfectly fine keeping my individuality and my name along with it.

    I would probably not be able to marry someone who didn't respect that about me, it's way too traditional for me and traditional doesn't interest me in the slightest.

    I've never understood why a man's last name is "his" but a woman's name "is her father's" and is expected to be changed.

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What Guys Said 42

  • Nope... she's switching, screw hyphenation. she can do what my mom did and move her last name to a middle name though.
    for a sec there, I thought you meant what would I do right after I get married. I was about to say... id just sit there and look at this "wife" and just think to myself..."well... you done fucked up now" looool.

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    • Lol of course you would

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    • Well I think it's ok to have a preference or that it means something to you, I just don't think that means you're necessarily right or that you should disregard your partner's feelings based on those beliefs.

      If you start off a relationship demanding someone to think like you do/agree with you, then she's not going to feel respected (if she has half a brain) and how would you personally respect someone who let you tell them how to feel?

      It seems like some girl's do still want traditional, which is fine, even if it's not my thing and you two should do what makes you happy. But you might be missing out on someone special thinking the way you do lol

    • @GirlsLie thats fine... i'll wait for the one that thinks like me. Plus all the girls i know that thought we might be getting married agree with me... so that cool. I mean, its not that big a deal and there is such a thing as compromise, which is a HUGE factor in why im pretty sure she'll be happy. so if she is so rigid that she won't even consider something like that... there wouldn't be a proposal in the first place. it would show from the get go.

  • If my fiance did not take my last name I would break it off. I am very progressive in almost everything but not that. Tradition is she takes my name. If tradition was that the man takes the woman's name, I would have done that. It gets me really upset and actually mad when I see a hyphenated last name. That is saying "fuck you" to the person you married. If you don't love me enough to take my name, then you don't love me enough to marry me. And what happens with kids? I would never let my kids have a hypenated last name.

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    • Well you certainly are passionate about it. I mean to me it doesn't mean that I don't want your name. Not at all. And I wouldn't hyphenate my kids last name. They'd just get there dad's last name.

  • my wife and I kept our last names. we talked about alternatives but couldn't really agree on anything else. so just keeping our own names seemed like a good move

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  • I am never getting married. Can't stand the idea.

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  • Probably get her last name. I wanna marry an American woman and live in America, and I want us to be a family and all have the same last name, and I want my kids to have a last name that matches their first name. It's weird if I call my daughter Ellie and her last name is Spanish, sounds weird.
    So I think the best thing is for me to take her last name, after all, it's just a name, it doesn't define who I am.

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    • This is pretty interesting. I've never actually thought about name matching. So you'd rather have a child named Sarah Smith as opposed to Sarah Ramirez?

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    • Bro wtf! Sorry! But your name represents your culture! I think being of Spanish decent is something to be proud of and pass on to your children...

      At least keep your name and name your kids your wife's surname

    • @PiuBelloAmante I represent my culture, not my name. Also, it's not like I'm very proud of being Spanish, I didn't spend the best years of my life there, that's why I wanted to live all that behind and start again.

  • been there, she took my last name and then she took a bunch of my favorite shirts after the separation.

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  • We can either both keep our last names or hyphenate. I feel weird about making someone take my last night or me taking hers.

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  • So you are one of those women waiting till marriage to hyphenate? You won't lose your single name, even to the right man, until you are married. Actually, the bible doesn't say that it is wrong to hyphenate before marriage.

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    • It's not set in stone that I'll hyphenate. I may just take his name. My kids will have his name for sure.

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    • Sorry, you are right. Was repeating those "typical" names too often too close to each other. :-)

    • Lol no worries, I got it

  • Well, there's a chance that she'll take my last name, but if she asks I'll let her keep hers. Maybe we could come up with a totally new one together :)

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  • I think i should respect my wife individuality.
    Heer name should be the same. I don't have the right to impose her my last name.
    Our names should remain the same.

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    • I'm kinda surprised with the number of girls that accept to change her last name easily... i kinda don't fully understand how women "gladly" grab a new name to take the place from the one that tells her origin. But hey... im not criticizing anyone xD

    • Well yeah a lot of girl look forward to taking on a new name.

  • To be totally honest, I'd find it really sweet if she *wanted* to take my name, but if she didn't that'd be okay. It's not a huge deal.

    I think I'd actually prefer she kept her last name as opposed to hyphenating, though.

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    • That's interesting. Any particular reason why?

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    • Haha thanks! :) I guess I'm just easygoing. LOL

    • Lol you're welcome!

  • Whatever she wants. If she wants to hyphenate, will do. It's still her name either way. I should be an understanding man who can take something as minimal as that. If you can't then you need some help cause it's not that serious. Her name is not and never will be something you can decide on, but maybe agree upon.

    Now if she's keeping her ex husband/wife last name for whatever reasons, THATS something we talking about.

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  • We arabs don't do this like everyone with his name

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  • KEEP YOURS. You're not a possession.

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  • i don´t really care to be honest. my last name isn´t that important to me.

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  • why do so many people assume they will get married? Have they just not seen the trend of men option out of it in huge numbers and their desire to marry is lower then it's ever been...

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    • It's really not that many men. Online it seems to be the case, but in person, I have yet to meet a man who didn't want to marry.

    • @Aud_Queen I'm talking about personal experience I'm talking about statistics, in 1966 only 29% of men between 20 and 34 were unmarried in 2013 the ration is 70% unmarried and rising. Also the stats for men wanting to get married is the lowest it's ever been while it's high and getting higher for women.

      The average age for men to marry is now 29 as of a few years ago and rising, once a man is over 30 years of age and not married the odds he will marry are VERY low. Just look at the birth rate if you don't believe me. This is a topic that has been discussed by many experts and lots of books have even been written about it.

    • ** I'm *NOT* talking about person al..., sorry bad typo at the very start :(

  • At my age, I need a pill to hyphenate.

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  • I think that I'd like to keep my last name the way it is. I don't really care what she does to hers, but I'm kinda of the opinion that the kids should have my name.

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  • A good old fashioned game of Rock Paper Scissors should sort it. I win she takes my name. She wins, I take hers, and a draw, and we shall hyphenate. Seems like a fair system :)

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  • I really don't care. Or rather, it's completely her choice.

    The main argument with hyphenation is that it would get kind of absurd in the 2nd generation.

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  • I don't like my last name, so I think I'll take her last name. Let the untraditional thing begin!

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  • Are you gonna hyphenate your kid's names too?

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    • At the time I got married - it didn't matter to me. But now... looking back, I'm really glad she took my name. It was a great gesture on her part. And if you think about it... I spent 6 months of my paycheck buying her an engagement ring - because that's traditional.

      To girls who want to keep their last name I say... "Cool" ... but then, if you don't want to do traditional things then why do you insist on an engagement ring? Why do you insist on a traditional marriage ceremony with flowing white dress and gobs of people and food? In for a penny - in for a pound. I'm not talking about hyphenation here... I'm talking about girls who insist they keep their last name only. Hyphenation, in my opinion - is just a convenience so people you've known and built a reputation with will still know who you are.

    • I don't disagree. I mean I know people have their reasons. I personally will take his name one way or another.

  • Either take his, or keep yours. How would you handle the kids?

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    • They would have his last name

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    • Yeah, i knew that and hope that i didn't cause you to think I was trying to say you were stupid.

    • Oh no, not at all. I get what you're saying. It does seem rather silly lol.

  • She needs to take my name in some way, shape or form. Hythenating is fine if she wants to do that!

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  • I'm keeping my names the same. She can do whatever she desires.

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  • I don't care. At all. All options are on the table, except probably hyphenating. Hi my name is Jack Miller-this-name-will-never-end-Smith. Keeping separate names, she taking my name, or I taking hers are ok.

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  • I would prefer it she kept her own name, kept separate bank accounts and didn't wear a ring.

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  • but I would feel sorry for our kids in handwriting class

    Isabella HER LAST NAME-MY 10 LETTER LAST NAME

    Andres HER LAST NAME-MY 10 LETTER LAST NAME

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  • I don't care what my wife wants to call herself
    But my children will bear my name

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    • So you wouldn't care if you had all daughters and they took he mothers last name since it would be changed/not continued anyways?

    • @throwit I would still want them to be born with my surname
      My surname used to carry weight, my eldest brothers tarnished it a bit
      But my father told me to always uphold it and make sure to make him proud
      He even gave me his first name (he had 7 sons in total, I am his "prized" child)
      I have a lot of expectations to meet...

  • I'll probably hyphenate as much as i do now, as long as i can make sure my wife doesn't catch me...

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What Girls Said 41

  • When I got married, I knew that I definitely wasn't going to hyphenate, lol. Two long ethnic Eastern European names together? Forget it! It's already hard enough to fill out forms and shit. 😂

    I dropped my last name and took his name. If I was the last person in my family with our name, I would've kept it. But I have 4 brothers, one of whom has already passed the name on. I had nothing to lose personally or professionally.

    I'm never going to truly lose my maiden name, seeing as it's on all my school diplomas, my birth certificate, my citizenship papers, etc. All the legal documents I acquired before I got married.

    I know there are a number of women who feel they'll be disconnected from their families if they change their names. That's just not true. A name isn't what connects a family. Same thing with "losing" culture, values, or history - I understand how they feel but a last name doesn't represent your culture, family values, or history.

    If I was with a guy who took issue with what I want to do with my name, I'd likely reconsider marrying him. This is something that should be firmly agreed upon - no compromising either.

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    • Your points are valid. I'm not dead set on hyphenating. It just bugs me how many people see it as not wanting to fully commit or not loving the guy enough. I mean if I agree to marry you then I think that that shows my commitment.

  • My name is on my birth certificate, social security card, bank cards, drivers licence, passport, and paperwork for emails and job applications. I've been writing my last name my entire life, I've got my signature down perfect. My real name is the name that's going to be on my tombstone.
    Getting married doesn't change who I am as a person. I don't owe my husband my identity, whether or not he makes a few more bucks than I do. I do not become 'his' anymore than he becomes 'mine'. My lineage does not change, I do not want a name that is not true to my family line. If I'm polish and my name ends in 'ski' I would not change my last name to 'Mohamed' or 'Garcia'.

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  • I'll do what Zoe Saldana did... Both of us hyphenate our names to become one. So if his name is Smith and mine is Towers, we'd both be, first name then Smith-Towers.

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    • Now that's not a bad idea

    • The internet went crazy when they heard, god forbid, a man had taken his wife's name, but they took each others names. I like that. This isn't ye olden days when you took the name because you were now the property of the husband and his family. We live in a new century where we are each our own human beings, and since we would each neither be single anymore, I love the idea of us both joining in name each others families, because in reality, that is what you are doing.

    • I agree. I think it's cool.

  • I'll take the last name of whomever I marry. Too many complications and hassles otherwise. Awkward questions and such, especially if and when children come along. I don't have any really big ties to my last name right now. If I'm going to get married and be with someone for the long-haul, I don't see why not take their name un-hyphenated to boot.

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    • Just to be clear, hyphenating is still taking their name. And it doesn't mean that I love them less or am not in it for the long haul.

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    • Some women just want to keep some of their identity. My sister did because she was here dad's only child.

    • I just hate how hyphenating is being equated to not loving your husband enough or not being committed enough.

  • If I were to ever marry, I would keep my surname. I don't even like it myself, but I refuse to entertain the archaic tradition of changing my surname to reflect the change of "ownership" (i. e. from father to husband; or, also seen historically in slaves/slaveowners).

    Hyphenation is tolerable, but I still do not think it would be something I would carry out.

    And any man who would so quickly call off our commitment and supposed love because I did not want to change my surname, is not someone that I would want to be with. Better that little piece of information about him came out sooner rather than later.

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    • I also want to mention that I'm not sure how I would react if a possible husband wanted to take my last name as his own. I think the initial thought would leave me a little uncomfortable, but I'd be willing to discuss his reasoning.

      In general, because of the above where I mentioned it as a sign of "possession," I like to stay away from it.

    • Yeah I don't understand why guys think that a female wanting to keep her last name means that she loves him less or something.

  • I don't think I will get married and in the case I do I will keep my last name.

    My dad been the greatest man alive, in my life, he has been my #1 supporter, even he is quite, he has spoken at loud to the world how important my family is so no, I won't be able to change my last name.

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  • When I get married, I will take his last name.

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  • Keep my last name. The kids can have his last name tho, I don't mind and it's part of my culture too. All the ladies in my family never took their husband's last name, the most it'd be is being called Mrs (husband's last name) - that's all, and I like it that way.

    Besides, a Chinese name will never go right with English names or whatever (I'm referring to hyphenation).

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  • Ehh, it depends on the name. I'm cool with taking his name, and in the case with my boyfriend, I would definitely not hyphenate, seeing as his name is hyphenated anyway and that would lead to three surnames :P

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  • B. I will most likely take his last name. There are plenty of men in my family carrying on our name so I don't really see the point. Plus my last name is nothing particularly special sounding/slightly common.

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  • Much of this stuff depends on traditional culture or, if you are the iconoclastic type of person, do whatever you want to do.

    In Spanish-speaking countries, the mother's family name and father's family name are both included in the child. Keep in mind that many Spanish-speaking countries are also patriarchal, so even though the child's formal name may express the mother's family name, the grandchild's family name will reflect the names of his parents, not his mother's parents. The names are not hyphenated, but English speakers may hyphenate them or treat them as one long family name.

    In America, the wife traditionally takes on her husband's family name. But that is changing, and many women are keeping their natal family names, usually passed down from fathers.

    In India and China, the wife keeps her birth family name.

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  • In my culture each person keeps their last name and the kids get the father's last name. That's what I'm probably going to do. I might also add my Husband's last name next to mine if he wants to, some women in my country do it, but in the papers they still have their father's last name, only in society people may call her Misses *insert the husband's last name* :)

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  • Take his last name. No doubt about that. I can't wait to get rid of mine.

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  • yup me and my lover are going to combine our names! <3

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  • In the event of the end of the world, I'll keep my last name because I'm the absolute last one in my entire family who has it.

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  • i took his last name. GLADLY. i was happy to take his last name. haha

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  • I'll be taking his surname. :) My surname is WAY too long to hyphenate :P

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  • I don't like the idea of hyphenated names, it just looks clumsy... and what if your kid (s) decide to hyphenate their names? Name-name-name-name... lol.
    I'd keep my last name because it's rare and I really like it.

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  • If he's worth marrying, I don't see any reason to not take his name. I know I'm still a *last name* without having to keep my last name so I will take his last name, not hyphenate.

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  • I had no hesitation at all when I married my husband, in taking his surname.

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  • Well keeping my last name will be confusing if I have kids. Also my last name would not sound good hyphenated. So I would change my last name.

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  • I want to take my husbands name.

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  • I would be happy and honoured to have his last name

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  • It depends on what his last name is.

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  • Honestly I have no clue. If I end up with the guy I'm with right now. That will be interesting to see what happens. Since he's Portuguese and I'm American. I can barely say his last name correctly. :D

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  • i would take his last name

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  • I will take his last name. His last name is lovely. :3

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  • No, I'll gladly take his last name.

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    • Can I just say, that if I were to hyphen my boyfriend's last name with mine... It would be three names "xxxxxx-xxxx-xxxxxxxx". He's actually dropping his dad's name and just taking his mom's so we'll both be taking his mom's last name we we get married.

  • I would keep my own last name. On the hyphenated names I dislike them myself.

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  • Take his last name. Maybe shift my last name as a second middle name? Lol. I don't know. My dad had no sons, don't want his name to get lost.

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