Too soon to date?

i was engaged to the love of my life ( of 5years lived together for 4 of the years)..about two months before our wedding day she was killed in a car accident. it took me about 3 months before I could even touch anything that she had left out ( like her sweater that she had left on the couch)..well little by little I have really came along way...everyone is pushing me to start dating again and start moving on.including her family...they all say "she would want you to be happy"...but I still feel as though I would be cheating on her or being in the wrong...i know its been a year..but I still love her...will that ever go away...do you think a year is long enough? should I start dating again to keep moving on?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It is too soon if you are not done coping. You should not be doing it just because everyone is pushing you to. It is never too soon, however, to start living again. Do things that are fun where you can meet new people, male and female. I don't think you should feel you are cheating on her. Would she want you to be happy and feel love even without her? I doubt that she would want you to be lonely. Do not put a time limit on yourself but when you do feel ready, do not feel guilty about it. When you meet the right person, she will be happy for you and you will know it.

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    • I feel as though she is still watching...like when I look at another girl and stuff....but I have felt like that for a while.... me coping and moving on was going well...but the about 3 months ago just kinda stopped...i haven't gotten better or worse....i think that is why everyone is pusing me to date....but I don't think I am ready...but maybe ill neverbe truley ready....but ya maybe ill just wait for the right person to walk back into my life

What Girls Said 1

  • Oh my...first let me say I am so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you have made great strides to heal and move forward the best you can. The emotions you feel for her will more than likely be a part of you forever. She was the love of your life and you were going to marry her. I think that as time goes on and you heal more, you might allow yourself to love once again. It's going to be a slow process and only one you can gauge. However, I am sure that you will love again and find someone else just as special.

    No one can really tell you the "right" time to date again. This is something you have to determine on your own. Maybe you could try it out to see if you're comfortable with it. Go out and mingle and try to have fun. There's nothing wrong with going out to meet people. If you find someone you're interested in then start off slowly. Get to know each other, hang out, have fun and see what happens.

    I wish you all the best.

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    • I don't think that I will ever just feel as though I can just let go and move on...but I know that I will have to at least start dating to even start to love again...do you think it would be wrong if I let one of her sister's set me up on a date

    • I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Let one of her sister's set you up. See how it goes. Good luck! :)

What Guys Said 2

  • Start dating when you feel ready; it doesn't sound like you're ready. Moving on doesn't mean you have to start dating. You're fiance would want you to find happiness but find it on your terms.

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  • The feeling of loving her will, most likely, never go away. I think only you will know when is the right time to start dating again, there is no shame in waiting longer or starting right now. You just need to be ok with it.

    I am sorry that you lost someone so close to you and whom you loved.

    Also, as a disclaimer, you should talk to a professional about it.

    I hope this helped somewhat.

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    • But my love for her is the only thing stopping me from dating.....i can't look at a girl with out seeing her....or dance with girl without thinking she is going to walk in and see us together....i know she is gone...its just on of those things that I just feel is a bad dream and you could wake up any time and she will be there.....

      i am seeing someone....have been for almost the full year she had been gone....they also said I should start dating and meet someone new

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