Would your significant others family determine whether or not you would marry them?

Just curious of people opinion on the topic.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It depends.

    I will make every effort, on my part, to figure out the reason why they wouldn't want us to marry. If the family is not irrational, and if they're all civil about it and are open to honest discussion, then I might have to back off and not marry him (again, that's IF they have a seriously valid reason).

    If the family is irrational, not willing to discuss anything, and are not making valid points or presenting valid reasons to why they don't want us to marry, then I'd go on to have some very serious conversations with my significant other regarding where we go from that point. In this situation, I'd marry him against his family's wishes ONLY if he is also willing to take the heat from his family for it and/or possibly cut ties with them.

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    • I loved your outlook on this topic! Many people were acting as if they would never have to deal with their SO's family when they marry but in fact the would have too. In the future their children would be directly involved with the same family that they say they wouldn't have to get along with but in fact without mutual respect it would make for an unfortunate situation.

    • Thanks!
      I also agree with what you said.

      That's not to say it's the case with everyone (there are some people who don't have family/are cut off from their family/etc.), but for the majority of people, when you marry someone you also marry their family. As much as we'd like to think we are free from their family's intervention, opinions, etc., we're not really, and because of that, it's wise to consider the family.

What Girls Said 9

  • No. I'm marrying the person, not his family.

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    • Oh you'll learn. You get the whole package with a man, family included

    • @BelleGirl21 But I highly doubt it'd ever be a deal-breaker. I have a pretty bad family myself, so I can't hold anything against the guy when it comes to his.

    • Lol I know what you mean!

  • Nope. Not even a little bit... They day u do marry the family, bu my husband would have my back and eliminate any problems that would arise...

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  • Not at all. I don't have to associate with them unless if it's important to him. MOre than likely, if they're not accepting of me, he would be cold to them.

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  • No, fuck both of our families if they don't want us together

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  • No not really.

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  • no. I would tolerate them if whatever the issue us isn't huge. otherwise I just would distance myself from them.

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  • No. If I like him I like HIM.

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  • Nope, never. I'm not marrying their family. (Let's hope they don't come from a culture with crazy family ties.)

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  • My parents kind of has a say and so does his.

    But usually the guy becomes the head of the family so he gets his way.

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What Guys Said 7

  • Well, firstly I don't have a significant other and I am never getting married. However to answer your question, let's assume I have a significant other, then this is how it will be:

    1. I don't believe in the logic that elders in the family can decide whether you can marry the person or not.

    2. Everyone has the right to choose their own life partners, Elders in the family can't interfere with that, or rather should not.

    3. How can elders take that decision?, I don't understand that logic!!, it's strange, two people who like each other, love each only they should decide for themselves.

    4. Elders are there to assure things are done as per the rituals, customs and so on. Elders in the family, parents etc they can't determine as to whether the person should marry the other or not.

    5. To answer your question, of course hypothetically, then all I would want is the full consent of my significant other and that's all that matters, I don't care whether the significant other's family approves me or not. It's not like I am getting married to the family!!.

    6. Elders can give some suggestions or if they are having objections they can bring it up in a mature way but they can't decide anything, because they are not getting married after all.

    I gave you my example just to answer your question that's all.

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  • No I am after all marrying my partner not her family that being said it helps if I am on good terms with them, or they don't mind me, as nasty in laws always have a habit of getting in the way sometimes.

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  • Their religion and culture might, but typically no.

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  • Depends. Maybe yes and maybe no.

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  • I don't have an SO or a family of my own. So that would be a big no.

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  • Yeah...;,/(:(:

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  • 1st wife : Was arranged by my and her parents, never knew it was happening until 3 hours before the wedding. I love her every bit as my 2nd. Her parents and me get on well and I do enjoy their company.

    2nd wife : Wasn't arranged, I met her while I was a student in USA, her family doesn't like me but I try my best to be pleasant to them however when it came to marriage then I didn't take any of their contempt for me into account.

    3rd wife : Arranged by my grandparents, parents and her parents who are co-owners of a business. This one wasn't really a marriage I wanted but I just make the best of the situation.

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