My (32) wife (28) has had a secret relationship online for about 3 months now - she has been to see him on 3 occasions and pretended he was just a friend. Bit of backstory but we haven't had sex in about 2 years now) and she claims to love me but wants to keep seeing this kid for the passion. They haven't had sex, but have done some oral. They certainly want to take things further. I love my wife, but i don't really know what to do - i mean forcing her to do anything will be bad, divorce would be ultrabad and a 3-way relationship is bad. Help?
Most Helpful Girl
Honestly, buddy, your marriage is over.
She is cheating on you. That is NOT okay, ever!
You guys haven't been intimate in years. That's the first sign that a marriage is on the rocks. If you can't get over your intimacy issues, cheating often ensues. She has openly admitted that she wants to see someone else for "passion". Unless you can fix that issue, you will never be in a monogamous relationship, because she will get it from somewhere else.
If you're okay with that, then fine, continue forward. Maybe you could even get someone else for "passion".
She has broken your trust. I doubt you'll ever trust her again.
I doubt there's a way for you to ever feel happy and satisfied in a relationship with her. I think you might have forgotten what it feels like to be with someone that has mutual respect, trust, love, and passion for you. I feel like maybe you've forgotten what it feels like to be happy with someone. I could be wrong, it's just an assumption.
My advice: divorce her.0
Most Helpful Guy
The answer initially is clear to me: find a bang up couple's counselor and get to work recreating your sexual relationship. What you do about the other guy is up to you but in my experience the guilt card is like a thermonuclear weapon with women. Just remind her of her wedding vows and not just the "forsaking all others," but the better or worse. If she will devote as much energy to healing your sex life together as she does swallowing he young hunk's cock, you should be golden.
Are you kinky? Is she? If so, be very, very careful to find a kink friendly therapist. The vanilla ones just don't get it.1