Has relations between men and women gotten better over the years or worse?

Obviously there is a myriad of different answers to a very complex topic. Personally I feel that people are more about instant gratification and do "what ever feels good" nowadays than ever. For sexually adventurous people I can say things are better. However I also believe that many (if not most) men and women are engineered to have steady mate for their adult lives. However given the modern times we now have a very high divorce rate. I come from a very rare (and dying) family structure where my parents just celebrated their 35th anniversary. Their marriage wasn't always perfect and I remember a few years ago where their arguments got really nasty (and they were both threatening divorce). Than around my senior year in HS they somehow changed overnight. Their marriage is happier nowadays (still some squabbles here and there) but they both told me they are happy they kept it together.

Divorces aren't always necessarily bad. Sometimes people grow apart and/or are not compatible. However I feel it's a very sad that people don't even try at the first sign of trouble. It seem almost "hip" nowadays to get a divorce because the grass is always greener on the other side.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I agree with you on your statements. I would like to add that I think that the high divorce rate comes down to a few keys factors that are missing in relationships today. 1. Comprise. Relationships are unselfish! They are about give and take. They are about considering the needs of the other individual above your own. 2. Mundane. Long term relationships see the day to day. It's can be ordinary and even boring. It can sometimes also be extremely tough and difficult, even painful. That's life. but hopefully with the special person by your side, it will only make life more special!. Unfortunately for some, it just proves how wrong that person was for them. 3. Compassion- the ability to care for an individual other than self. These qualities I described came easily to our great grandparents generation. But to our generation of 'I' and instant self gratification. It is difficult for this generation.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would wager they are as bad as it has ever been and until there are some big changes in the dating and marriage arena things will continue to get worse.

    Regardless of who or what is the cause of the discontent I think a lot of men are going to see women benefiting greatly at their cost and are going to blame women for all the problems. It's hard not to look at all the ways men have made room for women and now that it's women's turn to share in the sacrifice that comes with equality they aren't doing it and men are taking notice.

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    • Hence the backlash against feminism (which I very welcome). They want to have their cake and eat it too. The good news is that I am seeing some women are taking notice that feminism is at fault for creating a generation of passive pleasing "nice guys" that the vast majority of women don't want or respect.

What Girls Said 3

  • I think they got better for a bit, but now we're seeing pushback and the situation is deteriorating again.

    I've never met anyone who went through a divorce on a whim. There were serious problems in the dynamic *every. single. time*. In my mind divorce rates don't really show us anything other than people are getting divorced and making poor relationship decisions. That's life and totally normal as we can see from all the posts about relationships here.

    Getting married doesn't suddenly mean that people get *really* good at relationships or fixing them. It just means they have a ring.

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    • So when did they get better? 60s and 70s?

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    • OP is anon, thus I can't address him @
      I'm waiting for his answer.

  • I don't know i think arranged marriage infanticide domestic rape and stoning women bc the guy felt bad, is more immediate gratification centered than anything weve got now. there's a tendency to glorify the pats this can only be done if we point fully understand it.

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  • i posted something before about how 27+ year old GAGers are the coolest... that's exactly why...

    and you're 100% right
    we are not supposed to be having sex like alley cats... and the way men and women deal with eachother on daily basis is affected by that
    ... egh its very long and complicated... and hopeless lol

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What Guys Said 8

  • The expectations have never been higher for a SO i think. Plus, there are "factions" that are very antagonistic to dating/relationships, like feminists and MGTOW.

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    • this crap originated from feminists. They consider women who do need a man "strong" when the reality they are just miserable, loud and bitter and try to hide with "self affirmation" propaganda. As for MGTOW... I had to look that up. There is a movement of men who have given up on dating/marriage because they are finding that anti masculine society has made the CONs outweigh the PROs of pursuing women. I'm not saying they are right either. But I can see how it came about.

      A few one night stands and flings are definitely fun (I've had a few myself). However there is something about the long term support and companionship that humans need.

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    • @BellePepper you're cool belle. Were friends right❤❤

    • As long as we can all realize that there are many, many types of people in the world, I'm good :)

  • I don't think there is much change in the relationships other than people's sense of commitment. They are too quick to throw in the towel rather than work on their problems.

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  • Human nature stayed the same. Possibilities and laws evolved.
    FYI, my wife and I just celebrated our 44th anniversary. Things never got nasty, never any idea about divorce.

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    • Congrats to you and your wife. I have so much more respect for you older generations.

    • It's not a question of generation. Some marriages turn sour because one or both made a bad choice.
      50 years ago they'd stay together and suffer, to avoid social disapproval and because the women were much more dependent to survive.
      Now they care less about what the town or family thinks. More women earn their own income.

  • Much, much worse.

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  • Infinitely worse.

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  • Probably worse to be honest.

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  • Overall I'd say yes there's a greater rift and a lot more animosity between the genders than before but there are still a bunch of men and women that care for each other.

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  • Relations have gotten much worse, for sure. Marriage and long-term commitment have become very unfriendly to men, and as a result most men are staying away from it. Marriage rates are at an all-time low in Europe and N. America. But more women want to get married today than 20 years ago, while exactly the opposite trend is seen in men.

    Some things will have to change drastically before we'll see a reversal in that trend. The appeal of marriage will have to be restored for men, and the costs, risks and pitfalls of marriage for men will have to be mitigated. Otherwise that trend will just continue in the same direction it has been going for decades, with severe consequences for our economies and for society.

    www.pewresearch.org/.../

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