Girls, Why do girls agree to taking guys' last name when they marry?

I didn't really give it much consideration for most of my life, but suddenly when I think about it, it doesn't make any sense. Marriages aren't even permanent -- divorce is very common, and after a divorce, changing your name back is probably a huge pain in the ass. Not to mention that your married years are probably your career-building years, so your husband's last name would be tied to your professional identity. So after ten years time, it might be that you're stuck with the last name of someone you barely even remember.

Even if marriage was permenant and true love was real, why would you want to have someone else's last name at all? What does it matter?

As a woman, why would you agree to changing your last name?


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12

Most Helpful Girl

  • It would be easier to keep my own last name, since I already have my work and papers tied to it, not to mention bank accounts, license (ugh that means a DMV trip), social security, and all that, but if it's important to him I can change it. Besides, it may be best if the family's under one name, whether it's my last name or his, guess it doesn't matter. Probably will be his considering that's the traditional way to do it, and it's a rather harmless tradition.

    Plus it'd be nice to have the same last name as my kids so there's that to consider. My mom has a different last name than my dad and it's gotten confusing for other people sometimes.

    Anyway, I notice many women in my field keep their own last names for their work, so maybe I can do that. We'll see! Cross that bridge when I come to it.

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What Girls Said 11

  • Back then we were seen as property and by taking the husband's name showed that you are his property. In Hungarian you said the man's whole name and put the word "nĂ©" at the end if you were talking about the wife. And this became a tradition, to take the husband's name. But today we can choose to take it, keep ours or to make our name as the family's last name. But personally, if I ever get married, I will take my husband's last name for sure. My name is a pain in the *ss. I need to spell it like 8 times (and it has 7 letters) and people still won't get it. 😑

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  • I'm changing mine because of the overbearing pressure to do so coming from work, my family, and society as a whole. After I got married in July it's been a nonstop income of the same goddamn question: "when are you changing your name?". Even my grandma said to me " what's the point of marrying if you don't take his name? "
    Well obviously there are a ton of reasons to get married that have nothing to do with names so why is it so important to other people what my name is? I'll never know. I don't even like his last name, it's just meh. Mine is cool and uncommon, it's nearly impossible to crudely make fun of, and I love my family and everything else that my name carries. I want to keep my name, but my husband would prefer if I changed it and appearantly so does everyone else. So I guess it's goodbye.

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  • I will not change my name because I like my name and I don't want to give it up. But I think for a lot of people, particularly ones who plan to have kids, having the same name makes it feel more like a singular family unit. Because my boyfriend and I don't want kids, that's a non-issue.

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  • I think it's just because it's something that's always been done and its traditional to take the man's last name. I personally like the idea of hyphenating the two names.

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  • I would only change my last name in respect for him. It's not like I want too. Then again, I'd make both of us happy by hyphenating the name like
    Ashley Kale-Loier

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  • It's just tradition in many cultures and probably stems from patriarchal systems but I'm not completely sure... never researched it. I would certainly change my last name so my whole family can have the same last name and make things a bit more connected and easier. Not a big deal to me. I don't care much about last names. I see it just as a name for identification and putting things in alphabetical order. I'd rather put thought into first names since we use those all the time.

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  • I would change my last name. Because it's just makes you feel so special to your husband I don't know haha and marriage isn't necessary. A lot of people act like a married couple and even have kids but don't get married.

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  • cuz of ya know, that whole "tradition" thingy

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  • I changed my name because I wanted my husbands last name And because I wanted my kids and both parents to have the same last name.

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  • I would still keep my last name along with theirs

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  • it's tradition

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    • So is human sacrifice, but people don't do it anymore...

    • you ask a question I respond, it's just because of tradition. What do you want I tell serious? I don't the problem with taking his husband name

    • and some people still do sacrifice

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