Please no BS sexist, rhetoric about how marriage is just a sham for women to emasculate men and/or take all their money...
My boyfriend and I were chatting about it on our way home from a friend's place last night (we were visiting with friends whose wedding we're going to in a couple months).
He kind of has the perspective that he just doesn't see any real reason to get married - weddings are expensive and a lot of work and, in his mind, don't really change anything about the relationship. As far as he is concerned, if you're with the right person, your relationship doesn't suddenly take on new meaning because you've signed a piece of paper in front of a bunch of people. Although he didn't say it, I also suspect that part of it is because he doesn't like being the centre of attention, so I think there is a certain element of just not wanting to have a wedding that factors into it.
While I agree with him to some extent about it not changing the relationship, I value the symbolic significance of bringing together two families and creating a new arm out of those families. We are both close with our families and have healthy, loving relationships with them so for me, that binding of families is significant and meaningful. And while I understand his perspective regarding the level of commitment, I disagree. For me, personally, marriage is another level of commitment. Right now we live together and are planning our forseeable future as partners, but we can easily walk away at any time. We are commited to one another as we are now and to the relantionship that we are in right now. But I think when you get married you are commiting to growing and changing with one another. You acknowlege that you will grow and change over the years, but want to do it together as a team. Sometimes, a relationship that was happy and healthy at one time is out-grown by one or both of the partners. In a marriage, you are committed to growing together within the relationship.
Most Helpful Guy
I do want to get married, because i like the symbolism it brings. But, you boyfriend is definitely right. If you're already cohabiting, it really is a waste of effort and time. There is simply no real reason to get married. It's purely symbolic in today's Western World. It's not supposed to be something you simply can walk out of when you're not as happy as you were anymore.1
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Most Helpful Girl
Im not so sure about marriage yet since I still haven't fallen in love yet or met my soulmate.
However, right now my opinion of marriage is more like its just purely symbolism. There is no more or less responsibilities than an unmarried couple living together. Though some people feel like they take their relationship to the next level by calling each other husband and wife. But there is always divorce available. To be fair marriage just makes the people stay together a slight bit longer than a couple because its not as easy to get a divorce as just leaving your partner as a couple.
Unlike so in the past, divorce was highly looked down upon and not as easy as it is now. Hence why unhappy married couple stayed together because there wasn't really much of a choice rather than people loving each other for a much longer time (which some people seem to think).
I've been to a few weddings and feel like its something I want to experience one day however, the cost is horrendous, so if its too much money for us as a couple then I'd rather just skip it.0