I have been dating her for 8 months and I want to marry her! Is that crazy?

We have been dating for 8 months. We are both 20. She is the one for me. She is perfect. I want to propose to her. We love each other a lot. We are past our honeymoon phase. she is even switching her college to be closer to me. We plan on moving in together in summer. I want to marry her. But how can I ask her that if she feels the same without actually proposing? How should I ask? I want to have an idea before I actually do it! Are there any hints I can drop? I don't actually plan on proposing until after our anniversary in May or maybe I will in February on Valentine's Day!. Should I tell her how I feel? Tell her that I want to marry her and have family with her and grow old with her? Or should I ask how she feels about marriage? When does she plan to get married? Thank you


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Most Helpful Girl

  • wow! First of all, I am so happy for you. It is really rare to feel like that in our age (I AM 21). But, it is possible that she might have the same feelings for you as she does things that are big for your relationship (such as switching college). Allow me to say, wait and do not rush. You have plenty of time afterwards, discuss it with her and see her reactions. Do not forget one thing. YOUR INSTINCT. Trust it. If she the one she is the one then

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes, wait 4 more months, please. Don't rush into it. My parents have been married a great 25 years, and they were dating for like 5/6 years before they got married.

    There has been lots of research done about how waiting a few years before getting married leads to the couple staying together.

    I've seen movies where they discuss marriage before the guy suddenly proposes, so I'd assume it's like that in real life. Just like any other big decision. I have no idea how you'd bring it up without making it sound like the proposal though.

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What Girls Said 6

  • Ask her what she think about marriage and what age she see herself be married and having kids. You says you past the honeymoon phase, trust me you have not even breech it. Your so young @ 20 only. The world is hugemongous full of wonders. But if your heart is set on marrying the girl go ahead and propose (wish you all the luck). But remember marriage is not easy its about loving each through the ugliest part of your life together. Its about never ever stop communicating with each other or giving up. There will be part of her you'll learn when married and sometime it won't be pretty (vice- versa). But to go through all that you will see that their is beauty in a marriage, joy, laughter and to see your own little creation growing up. Just don't lose hope when you feel stuck in a marriage, work it out. After the dark there is hope.

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  • Yes, you are crazy.

    8 months is still the honeymoon phase and your post is riddled with stomach butterflies.

    Research marriage and what it entails first and I mean all the legal binding shit. You hardly know this girl, no matter what you think now. If you have more to your name, in case of divorce - guess what, she gets half. In some cases you end up paying alimony too. THINK, boy.

    Once you move in together, THAT'S when you'll REALLY get go know her. If after a year of cohabitation you still feel the same way you do now, then you might want to consider taking things further.

    But even then, if you ask me, it's best to date for 4-5 years before tying the knot. Around the 5 year mark is usually when people start getting bored and wanting something different. If after then your feelings are just as strong, perhaps it's time to make it the government's business.

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  • Firstly, I'm happy for you that you've got someone you feel this strongly about. Cherish these feelings because not everyone gets to experience them.

    That being said, I would advise caution in rushing into things. I'm 21, and I got engaged at 19 because I felt almost exactly what you're describing, and I can tell you honestly that, looking back now, I would have hated myself and my life if I'd actually gone through with it.

    Now, that's not at all to say that this relationship you're in can't work, because it most certainly can. My grandparents met in high school and have been married ever since (55-ish years), and almost the same thing happened to my parents (30+ years married), so yes, it is entirely possible. At the same time, I've had friends get married, have a few kids, and then end up divorced and miserable. It's a slippery slope.

    I don't know enough about you two to give any advice for or against the relationship itself, but what I will offer is this: wait. If you wait another 6 months or a year before getting into the marriage business, your relationship will be stronger for it. But, if it doesn't work out for whatever reason, you've just saved yourself (and her) a whole world of hurt and tough situations.

    Bottom line, if she really is the one, waiting a bit before popping the question will only bring you two closer together.

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  • If you are so sure you want to spend eternity with someone, waiting a bit longer won't hurt you. If you feel rushed, like it needs to happen soon, then I think subconsciously you aren't so secure in the relationship.

    I say keep what y'all are doing up, move in together, wait another year or so at least.

    My parents have been married since 1990 and they dated for 4 years prior. After they got married they waited another 4 years to have kids. And they are one of the only couples I know who've been married this long and had children. Its rare these days. So do it right.

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  • Talk about her about the future and ask how long she'd want to be engaged for. I think getting engaged now is fine but I'd wait until after you both graduate to get married.

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  • First off, just breathe. 8 months isn't very long, and frankly why rush into marriage when you plan to spend the rest of your life with her. Assuming you have 60+ years to spend together, take the time to enjoy your lives together in the moment and not rush into anything.

    As for bringing it up to her, just talk about the future with her. What does she want her future to look like? What age does she imagine getting married? How do you feel about kids? Do you both want them? If so, what age do you plan on having them? Dual income or stay-at-home parent? If someone will stay at home, who? What careers do you both plan on having? What if you can't get jobs in the same place?

    You have to have conversations about the future before you can even begin to decide if this is the girl you're going to marry.

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What Guys Said 5

  • Stop.. please stop. Wait until your career has been established first.

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  • LoL , how about you marry right now, have kids right now, grow old right now, and die right now too.
    Since you are into rushing things that much.

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  • Id wait a little longer

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  • Since you are already planning on living together, you can make the decision after

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  • give it 6 more months

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