I want to know why it is so hard for me to find a woman.

I am puzzled, confused, and just down right don't understand... I have never been in a relationship and haven't had a girlfriend either, but want a relationship. I want to know why it is so hard for me to find a woman. I am not the best looking guy, not a sharp dresser, and don't have a great job, but I work hard and have good morals, kind and I want to be married, have kids... I would love to have a family. Most guys I know don't even want to hear the word 'marriage' or have kids and hear I am, can't even talk to a woman, but want something that seems impossible to have. What do I do?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Stop being so idealistic about the future when you have not yet established "a present". Just ask a woman out and keep it simple and fun and ask her a lot of questions and listen to her. She will respond by asking you questions once she sees your interested in her as a person and get naturally curious as to why you are not talking about yourself. Tell her what you want from a relatonship someday and not about what you want 5 years from now and she will guide you the rest of the way. Women are not looking for a sharp dresser so much as they are looking for a sharp genuine person they can feel comfortable talking and being themselves with. Someone dating you wants to feel comfortable with you. Someone who is martried to you wants what you have mentioned above. Takle it one step at a time and be yourself.


What Girls Said 3

  • hmm that's rare. all my guy friends freak out at the word 'marriage'. well I'm the same way. I am attractive and I want to get married right now but life is so busy at the moment, I have no chance of dating and finding that right guy.

    Just do your best in life. if you aren't the best dresser, then try to focus on that. if you don't have a great job, try getting a promotion or getting a better job.

    always keep your dreams close to you and work towards them. that's what I believe in.

  • Well, I would recommend fixing the flaws that you admitted that are more easily fixable, specifically the way you dress and your job. I don't really know what else to tell you.

    • I have tried to change the way I dress, but I usually feel uncomfortable with myself. As far as the job goes, trying to find one that pays better without a college degree as a requirement is impossible to find. The job market is terrible and very high competition; I was out of work for a year before I found the job I have now, but thanks for your suggestions.

    • Dude there's guys around here with crappy jobs or even no jobs. Now I'm not a ladies man or anything, but you're putting more effort into worrying about women than you do yourself. Guys dint want to hear marriage, and neither do girls right off the bat. Just do what makes you happy and forget about women. You'll be more happy with your situation which will show and you'll be more easy going to be around. Don't give anyone else the power to decide if you're happy or not.

    • I agree with Brando, I think. Before worrying about finding a woman, you should really work on getting a better job and everything. You really need to be able to take good care of yourself before you can even thinking about having a serious relationship. Honestly, I know it's difficult, but I would recommend finding some way to pay for community college, or something, so you can eventually get a higher paying job and some financial stability.

  • Do you put yourself out there and approach women and ask them out? Or do you wait for women to come up to you and ask you out?

    • I am always waiting for women to approach me, but I know that is not going to happen... at least it hasn't so far. I don't approach women because I am not very good at it and get extremely nervous and a lot of it has to do with the fact that I might be rejected.

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    • Unfortunately I feel awkward about asking family and because me being single has been going on for so long my parents don't bother asking me about it and so no interest in knowing, my sister doesn't have any eligible friends (I have asked her before) and my brother has his own family. I have tried numerous singles/ dating sites and only one response, but it was fake because the girl was from Russia 'looking for marriage'.

    • What about taking an acting class? It could help open you up, get you more outgoing, etc. Help you become less self conscious about approaching women?

What Guys Said 3

  • If you want to have pretty girlfriend, you must be helpfull and lovely to her.

  • I hear you man. I'm the same situation as you. I honestly don't know what to tell you because we're in the same boat. A lot of guys, especially those PUA and player-type guys don't want to be married and start a new family. They don't want meaningful relationships, instead, they just sleep with many women as they can.

    • I really don't think that guys like you two should even be thinking about players at all. Are you really that interested in the type of woman that would hook up with guys like that? If you are, then I don't know what to tell you, but if you're not, then keep looking. There are loads of sweet girls out there who have similar dilemmas finding guys. I know this girl who's in her early twenties and is adorable and nice and a good person, but can't for the life of her get a date. At this point, she's

    • Basically willing to settle for almost anyone. So, I really, really, really think that you should just keep looking, and don't feel too down in the dumps or anything and remember to try looking at girls that you would not normally look at. :/