How can Ilet my husband know that he is hurting me?

We've been married for a coupleof months now, and we are in a long distance rel. The 1 month was great. we have plans and stuff. but as time goes by hestarted to be irresponsibble, he's always on his friend's house. untill dawn, He go straight there every after his work. everytime we talk his always mad at me and he always say foul or hurtful things. We no longer have proper convo. he always choose his frineds ver. I always asked for his time. I also find out that he's flirting withsome other girls. it seems that all the plans that we have is nothing to him. he's starting to be irresponsible and focused to something else. I can longer feel I have a husband.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Tell him

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    • I did talked to him about this, but nothing is changed.

    • Then I think you move on 💁🏻

  • was he like this before you where married , or did it start after ,

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What Girls Said 1

  • Are you always right there, waiting, when he finally DOES come around and call?

    Try making yourself... a little less "available". Like, just don't answer the phone, or texts, for a few hours. Maybe a whole day, or two. Then see what happens.

    Clearly he is taking yr attention and presence for granted at the moment. Sometimes all you have to do is start withdrawing that attention.

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    • Hi! Thanks to that. Actually I tries that t tawehat. We already talked about this and he promised to change, but he's still the.

    • I just actually didn't talkto him for 4 days but it is just the same.

    • Hm.

      Well, you may just want to think about whether his needs and priorities are different from yours.

      You've said he's being "irresponsible", but, at the same time, he seems to still be going to work every day. He's partying with his friends, but -- of course he wants to be with his friends! His wife is far away. So, if he's not the type who likes to be alone much... well, this makes sense to me, at least.

      What are YOU expecting him to do?

      You should think about that for a while, because I think you're trying to exert too much control over him.
      You two are separated by a long distance. As long as he's (a) still pursuing goals in life, (b) not cheating on you, and (c) maintaining good communication with you, I'd say he is fulfilling his role in the relationship.

      You should also think about whether your standard of "enough communication" is higher than his. Some people just want to talk less than others do. It doesn't mean they love the other person less, necessarily.

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