For those of you who are married, was there any transfer of expensive gifts between families?

First of all, I am talking about YOU. If you are married right now, was there any transfer of expensive gifts between families? Did the groom (you or your partner) give an expensive gift to the bride's family, or did the bride's family deliver a gift to the groom's family?

Please share your cultural background or your nationality, so then I can contextualize and maybe see how it relates to me. I am 25, and I'm not ready for marriage at the moment. Maybe when I'm 30, I may try to search for a partner. Though, to be honest, I'm completely clueless how marriage works and operates in a multicultural country like the USA. For those of you with immigrant parents in the US, do you follow the marital customs and expectations of your parents' homeland, or do you just go with mainstream, white middle class American norms of dating, sex, and marriage? Actually, to be honest, I'm not entirely sure whether white middle class Americans give wedding gifts from the parents of one side of the family to the other. I think wedding gifts are given to the bride and groom from the parents and friends... or perhaps, they are given by one set of parents to the other... or both.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I'm married. American. There is no transfer of gifts except (usually) from wedding guests to the couple getting married. The bride's parents often pay for the wedding, but that's not thought of as a gift.

    But there are no hard-and-fast rules. You do what you want, and what feels comfortable for you. My parents eloped to avoid all the bullshit.

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    • Heh, the gift idea can only be brought about, if you respect the wishes of your parents and in-law parents. You may think, "oh, no! The hell with parents!" But then, think that your mom and dad may come into your house to take care of your children. So, it may be a good trade-off. Also, consider that if you are a daughter, then marriage will signify that your parents will lose you financially. If you live in a country without elderly care supported by the government, then all you have are different families supporting themselves. So, it is traditionally important for the groom to send an expensive gift for marrying the bride. The bride may bring a dowry into the marriage, which is for the bride's future success.

Most Helpful Girl

  • No. We did nothing like that. Our families didn't even meet first.

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What Guys Said 2

  • You can do whatever you want. There are no rules.

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  • No.. there was not. Not a custom in the USA. Expected behavior here is to follow USA norms.

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What Girls Said 3

  • No exchange of gifts. I am from the USA and we've been here for generations and generations so no cultural norms from any where else.

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  • I'm planning on being swapped for three goats, a Shetland pony and three acres of arable land.

    No... generally gifts are only given to the couple on their wedding day. Families don't get gifts from the other family.

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  • No, no exchange of gifts between families for my American wedding, nor my sister's wedding. She married an Italian immigrant. It was all about the lavish wedding and her FIL gave them $60k towards a house.

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