Would telling my fiance I was sexually abuse change anything?

I am getting married soon and I love my fiance. He's my very first boyfriend and we haven't had sex yet. My sister encourage me to talk to him about my past of being sexually abused my my uncles. However I'm afraid he will hold back in our future sex life. Should I?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You should. My girlfriend told me something similar. I'm the only person she's ever told. I'm glad she did.

    Be prepared for him to want to harm the person/people who abused you. Make sure he doesn't take the law in his own hands. It's important for him to understand that you as the abused person must be in control of any response to the abuse. No one should take that control from you.

    I wish you a life of happiness and peace.

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    • did it affect your sex life?

    • No, not at all. Certainly not in any negative way. It brought us closer together if anything.

What Guys Said 1

  • Yes. This is your fiance and future husband. Why keep such an important thing from him? You will no doubt have issues because of this so he has a right to know. What do you mean "hold back"? Like not have sex with you because of this? He's not going to do that I doubt seriously. Think of it if it was the other way around, would you not want to know this about your husband? Communication, honesty and trust is so important in marriage, if you can do this, you shouldn't be getting married.

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What Girls Said 1

  • I think if this is the person you want to spend your life with, you should be able to be honest and open with him. As mentioned though, be prepared for him to be upset and want to hurt the person who hurt you.

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