Ladies please take time to read. Advice needed. I've been married going on 8 years now. I'm not in love with my wife. Never really was. She got pregnant not long after we were together which at the time I though I wanted. I married when I was 20 and it wasn't until then that I started breaking out of my shyness and gained confidence. The love I do have is just because she's the mother of my kids. I'm forcing myself to stay with her just because of them but it's getting to the point to where I'm tired of a boring life and marriage and want out 80% of the time. I've talked to my wife multiple times about this and she says she's not in love either but gets upset at the thought of me going places where there are other women. She keeps saying she wants to work it out and fight for us. She always cries when we have fights and crawls back to me. She said marriage isn't perfect but I think you at least how to love your spouse enough to wanna devote yourself to them. How is she not in love?
Anyway, the more time goes on the more bored and miserable I feel. It's like I'm getting to the point where I wish she would cheat on me just to give me a reason to leave. A lot of time I wish she would just leave me in general because she gets tired of me. But she won't. She puts up with so much from me that she shouldn't and mainly because I'm not in love that's why I can't give her my heart like she needs. Even though I've never been in love with her, I have NEVER cheated on her physically with any other woman. I've flirted and shit but that's it. I get more attention from women than I use too and it's hard to resist. But I don't know how much longer I can hold on with out cheating. I don't have the heart to just tell her "sorry I'm leaving your ass f*ck your feelings." I know how it feels to be in love with a woman and I don't feel like for my wife. And I know the feeling of being hurt by someone your in love with which is another reason why it's so hard to leave. Another
Most Helpful Girl
Dude, male indecision is as bad as female infidelity.
Read that again.
Now read it again, 50 more times.
Srsly, yr wife would hurt more in the short-short-run if you were to cheat on her... but, in the long run, this hanging-on-while-slowly-dying-inside bullshit is INFINITELY more toxic. To you, but ESPECIALLY to her. Her life is being drained away, one little iota at a time.
She's counting on YOU to be the leader, here. That includes firing her, too, if that's the best decision for the family unit.
I mean, my fucking heart breaks at the thought of break-ups, dude. My emotional brain thinks everyone should fight for their relationship, with blood, sweat, tears and more fucking tears, until absolutely nothing's left. My heart says fighting and screaming and then fucking and renewing yr love is better than a "rational" breakup. My rational brain says... nothing that I can hear, bc my emotional brain screams too loud.
But, even my heart says that breaking up is better than slowly rotting away, until yr dead inside.
Make a decision.
Then execute the fucking decision.
Not tomorrow. TODAY.
TODAY is the first day of the rest of yr life. What's it gna be? New life? Or same old shit?
Up to you.
By the way, could you please clarify this?:
"She puts up with so much from me that she shouldn't..."
Yr not even cheating, dude? What's she "putting up with"? You beatin the hell out of her, or something?
Jk (sorta), but, really, what did you mean by that? Why self-incriminate if you aren't actually guilty of anything?2