My parents want me to get married at 20?

So hey guys, I'm a 20 year old female and basically my parents want me to start looking for a man right now and I'll tell you why. It's because they think I'm a loser. I'm still in school, a community college mind you and I will be graduating late. They think I will never get a degree and that I'm not very smart or will ever find a job so they just want me to be married off to some guy they find so that I'll be safe and I can just say the excuse that I'm still in school. Just the thought if this makes me feel disgusted and ashamed and scared. I wish they believed in me and had more faith in me then maybe I would feel inspired and motivated but I really do feel like a loser and I'm scared about what I will do in the real world. Should I just go along with them?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Your life, your decisions. If you don't wanna get married, they can't force you. I too started college at 20, nothing wrong with that. You're not a loser and it's better than not studying at all, right? Prove them wrong, get married when you want to.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • That's pretty f-ed up from your parents. They should definitely have more faith in you. Marrying a guy will not solve your problems, marrying a guy will not make you successful or feel complete. One of my friends got pressured into getting married by her family because they felt she wasn't smart-so she ended marrying anyone. The guy ended up abusing her and almost killing her. She had a baby with him and escaped. Now they are in this ugly custody battle. I say do what inspires you, get an education and be independent. Even if your parents don't agree.

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What Guys Said 6

  • That sucks and I understand how sapping it is to have parents who don't believe in you. But you have absolutely got to fulfill your obligations to yourself, do what YOU want to do, fuck what anyone else thinks. If you do what other people want you to do- you'll look back and regret that shit, so press on patiently and resolutely with your dreams.

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  • well if your that dumb your parents should offer a dowry for you.

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  • You can do marry after marriage girls can also study if the good husband u meet. I know people do. Ma uncle want ma aunt to get a government job as he is an engineer. So he pay for her coaching classes. So u can

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  • you do you, hun. it may be 20 or 30 years before you find him or her.

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  • Are you Indian?

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  • why do u live with parents that look so down on you?

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    • Because I have no where else to go and I'm afraid of the real world. I know they really love me but they just think there's no hope for me and that hurts my feelings. But then they will contradict themselves and say I'm say mart and capable wjen deep down I know they are lying cause they prove it in other ways like for example this marriage thing.

    • i'd marry you.

What Girls Said 3

  • Agreeing to an arranged marriage is the worst thing you can do. It will be a disaster because you aren't comfortable with your own identity and are being bullied by your parents.

    Tell them you don't want to be forced into a marriage... use their own arguments against them. Say yes, I'm immature and unworldly so I won't be able to be a good wife to any man. He will despise me and control me, and I'll come home crying. Say, I don't want to be dependent. I want to learn to be independent. Stand your ground! Tell them you need their guidance and ask them to help you find a job so you can move out or at least pay some of your expenses, like a car.

    Use your judgement, of course, but don't let them force you into marital slavery.

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  • Are we talking about an Arranged Marriage here?

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  • You should marry the guy. I'm like you I'm pretty dumb and have any degree, I have the worst part time job ever and I still lived with my family so I just plan to get married because is the only way I can have a good life

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    • I'm not dumb... I'm just not good in school

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    • but they are your parent, parent are always right, your their own child they know you better than anyone else

    • Lol nvm you're not very helpful. And sometimes dear, parents are always right of they were. .. I wouldn't have had this doubt and I wouldn't have said all this to you. Thanks for your time. Bye.

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