Do you think marriage is BS? Why do you need to marry?

Seems like most of women want marriage... and surprise not, men get screwed over in almost every situation.

I wonder if this is secretly why women want to marry... the feeling of having a "one up" and security on your man.

  • Marriage is BS
    27% (14)40% (19)34% (33)Vote
  • It's not bs
    61% (31)49% (23)55% (54)Vote
  • answers
    12% (6)11% (5)11% (11)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy
Updates:
So many beta males voted B... wake up

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I want marriage, with a prenup

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What Girls Said 20

  • it really depends on the person, and the couple~ before i met my (now-) boyfriend, i had no intention of ever getting married, simply because i had no faith in the institution.

    i learned at a very young age that a ring on your finger meant nothing and would not make someone loyal to you. my parents went through a messy divorce when i was a kid, and every single man in the family cheated on his wife, left her and his kids with nothing. by the time i was in my early teens and beginning to date, i decided that "if this is what marriage is, i want no part of it, now or ever".

    just over a year ago, i started seeing an amazing guy who indicated that he wanted to get married at some point. the fact that i did not run away screaming instantly spoke volumes~ i had finally found someone i liked enough to want to be with forever, and that i could see myself being married to. based on how awesome things have been from day one, i will accept when he proposes.

    your whole post is very insecure; i can't tell if you hate women, have recently had your heart broken by one, or both... and, honestly, i don't care. secure, confident guys don't post this kind of hate-filled drivel on the internet, and i feel sorry for you.

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  • Marriage may seem corny or BS but, legally it's very important. If I don't get married my SO would never get to move with me when I change duty stations, he can't have my health /dental care. I wouldn't get pay to help support him, he wouldn't be able to come on base with me. If I died he might not get any of my life insurance, he couldnt visit me in the hospital.

    Marriage is a very important legal step between a couple. It's also a commitment to someone, promising to never give up, to always work together, to always support and love each other.

    I know what it's founded on but that's totally irrelavent these days, I feel. I'd type more but I'm typing on a phone so screw that noise, I've made my point.

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  • My boyfriend and I both plan on getting married when we're done school and ready to settle down, ie. have stable jobs, financially independent, etc..

    Why? Well, mostly because neither of us want to be alone. Humans are social creatures and if getting married will promise us having someone to come home to after work, to have their for mental/emotional support should something bad happen, while providing constant love+sex, why not?

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  • Both guys and girls want marriage, just at different times in their life.
    Marriage wasn't invented to screw over a man, matter of fact most marriage involved women coming with a sizable dowry.
    Modern marriage is just a way of legally saying, i love this person and i hope to live my life out with them.
    Divorces are bound to happen, sometimes circumstances can change our decisons but it isn't a reason to give up on the institution all together.
    If marriage isn't your thing thats fine but dont shit on it for the rest of us that believe in its meaning.

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  • Both me and my boyfriend want marriage. Plenty of guys want it too, not just women. For many it's still the ultimate level of commitment and love.

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    • Commitment is scary. Putting all that trust into one person is the biggest risk. I'd never do it. It's a waste of time that could go to me getting stoned or playing video games

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    • @fueledbythc Most people want and need companionship and love. You are by far in the minority. And just remember your ex != the rest of the female population. That's like me saying I'm afraid of guys and refuse to date because of ONE ex that cheated on me for example. I'm also highly introverted but I still love having a boyfriend. Most people male or female crave that love and social interaction. It honestly just seems to me like you are still on the immature side if all you care about is video games and weed. You'll probably grow up in a few years.

    • Weed and video games aren't my priorities. School and after I graduate finding a job are my priorities. I do crave social interaction but I get enough of it. I'm a very approachable person and don't mind having a conversation with anyone. Getting stoned as fuck and video games are what I do on my down time. Having a girlfriend means that's less down time for me. I can't handle having someone that close to me. I did have a girlfriend but we mutually broke up well I like to think that she took it ok because I did but she rebounded hard. I didn't enjoy it at all. She was wayyyyy too clingy and fell in love with me too fast. Even after breaking up almost 5 months later she still has feelings and I don't at all. Maybe the sex and kissing was great for her cause it was very intense. she's still trying to talk to me even though she's with the other dude. I ignore her completely.

      Eventually I will run into her and I don't want to have to deal with this. I moved on and she hasn't.

  • I don't like your reasoning at all but that come from a man who's obviously against marriage and that's your choice. No one is forcing you to get married.
    I don't think it's bullshit.
    My boyfriend probably want it more than me. I love him so I would be happy either way. It's not a trap but something people do when they're in love. Lucky me, my boyfriend will propose if he's ready, in the meantime, we're living our life together and marriage wouldn't change that.

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    • that is why I am against premarital sex (I mean I would reject my boyfriend if he asked for sex). If I have sex with him and live together then no need to get married

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    • What black mailing? I dont care of others sleep before marriage. Good for them. But I won't let my boyfriend fuck me before marriage. He should respect me and my body. This is it.

    • *if others sleep...

  • Marriage is an official commitment to love someone, care for them, be faithful etc, so I like it because of the romantic aspect, not because women want to one up. Marriage is like declaring your love and dedication, it's becoming husband and wife.

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  • No marriage is not BS.
    I'm traditional and religious and I like the idea of Marriage. It's the way that things worked for my ancestors and I'll keep the tradition alive.

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  • I think marriage is wonderful two people want to be together forever. Not only are there the benefits of being with the love of your life forever, but making it official allows medical decisions to be made by the spouse and it is recognized by the state. This is why gay people want the right to be married. It is important.

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  • I'm pro marriage. It's for responsible people who understand what it's about. No point trying to stuff a triangle into a rectangle. Some people are incapable of it.

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  • Well yes it is that security. Which is desirable in any relationship, but it also sometimes has to do with religion.

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  • It is BS, at least for me. There are some genuine benefits to getting married, especially when you have kids. There are legal benefits that married couples have that unwed couples just don't get. But it wouldn't be for me. There's too many uncertainties to get married.

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  • the European (western) definition of marriage is BS. The whole spend a crap load of money on one day , have tons of family members there who dont need to be there but you have to invite them. All i need is a vow to each other and to god and im good. I think the legal process is a curse, government shouldn't be allowed to interfere into marriages or dictate what is a legal union. Marriage today is just a legal document that i dont want or need.

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  • marriage is the biggest bs

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  • I like the idea of two families coming together and me taking the name/culture. I dont know much about the goverment part of it but doesn't it help with giving children insurance, moving to another country, status and getting support from your spouse?

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    • i mean there's got to be a give and take between both parties but yeah that's really how it is

  • I don't ever want to get married because I don't see the point of it. A piece of paper doesn't mean you love someone.

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  • It is not all BS

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  • Marriage is just a piece of paper in my opinion. I don't believe in it.

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  • Ha @ the update.

    I don't think marriage is essential and never thought about my dream wedding. Like, If it happens great, but I don't care if it doesn't.

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  • hahaha omg your reasoning is so flawed but okay

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What Guys Said 22

  • I got married when I found the right woman. And she felt I was the right man. After 39 years of wonderful marriage cancer took her.

    We were both better for having each other. Nobody felt screwed.

    Marriage is what you make of it (and who you decide to be with). Definitely not BS.

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    • so sorry for your loss,
      but i'm really glad you have a good outlook on the situation and are strong enough to talk about it

    • Sorry for the loss 😟
      Now that's the type of marriage I want but as you can see sir the youth is going somewhere completely different. We don't know what respect and love is and the amount of dishonesty has gotten so far that we believe that a women will screw us up if we get married but if we showed that women the true love it would be gain for the both of the couples. A happy women means a happy man. Thank you so much for sharing your life experience.

  • Although I call her my wife, we are not legally married. We are totally happy living as "common law". We have been together for almost 20 years! To us marriage is a complete waste of money and a 12 hour party that everyone else gets to enjoy but you! A piece of paper and a stone should not change or define the way you feel about someone!

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  • I don't think the concept of marriage is BS, but the way the laws are set up is outdated and in some places super unfair. Also maybe some people get married to easily, they don't think about it enough so that's why it fails. It should be a serious decision not something you do on a whim or because other people are doing it and you feel pressured etc. If both people aren't serious and genuine about it and aren't doing it because of outsice influences then it's a bad idea. Personally I haven't had any intentions of getting married yet but that might change in the future :).

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  • I find marriage to be an outdated concept. Many people still like it, which makes sense, but the reality and the perceived reality are wildly different. And yeah, I mostly agree with your argument that marriage is a trap for men. The power a wife holds over a husband can be devastating if abused. They can effectively take children, money, and property away and people, including the legal the system, won't bat an eye because it favors to see women as the victim. Even if they are far from it.

    I saw it happen with my parents during their divorce. My mother was horrible, and was able to get everyone to see my father as a complete monster in spite of the fact that all he did was be unfaithful. Sure, that's sucky, but a monster it does not make. Compared to her proclivity for emotional blackmail, manipulation, and abuse he was a saint. Yet everyone, including my father's own sisters, demonized him.

    I may be somewhat biased, granted I'll admit that, but that's my experience.

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  • It is the only way to "legalize" your kids, if any. Marriage has greatly lost it's integrity in the West. In the East the same is happening, but for now its not too big a problem comparatively.

    Marriage is most confusing for those who never had partners and now arrive at the age of marriage. With no experience in relationships before they can have problems. It depends on the socierty more then, whether they will stay together. In the East divorce is looked down on so they won't split easy. In the West it is the opposite (sad)

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  • Why I think it's better not to marry (but just my opinion):
    Marriage is an expression of love (nothing wrong with that)
    But marriage is also a safety net - you make vows never to betray eachother and that your love is eternal (and all that).

    Marriage I'm assuming makes people feel safer in their relationship - that the chance of seperation is less. HOWEVER this is a problem.

    By being married you have to worry less about your partner going off with someone else. It means you don't have to look after yourself or continue to be special because that person will always be there - there's less risk of losing the relationship.

    It's like how some people need to have their life threatened to truly appreciate it.
    in my opinion marriage stops love from being special and something you should hold onto, but instead something that isn't going to go away so you don't need to worry.

    Again this probably isn't true in all cases, but I wonder if it is true for my parents at least.

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  • Marriage is fine if you married to a sweet , motherly type of woman. However, if your married to a selfish entitled brat than it's terrible.
    common myth's
    1. I want equal partnership in marriage. Follow that path and you're going to down divorce lane. There must be a leader that handles most of the task or else the spouses will argue over differences of opinions how to do things. This is why traditionalist marriages last so long
    2. If your married you will struggle though some things, it not a Disney marriage.

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  • I don't think its worth it nowadays.

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  • No I believe marriage is our most important social institution. I always would like to one day have kids and raise them with my wife by my side.

    Obviously as a precaution I would get a prenup but I would prefer that the marriage last till death to us part.

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  • I call it BS

    If you need marriage for security and peace of mind, that little bit of distrust will fuck everything up later on

    There's nothing in marriage for men. No benefits and risk of 1/2 your money (regardless of whether or not she earned a penny), alimony and child support if she wants out for whatever reason

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  • People are just getting married just to be married. Most of the people I know are constantly arguing when they are dating, got married and later had messy nasty divorces.

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  • Issue with marraige is that people tend to get married for the wrong reasons.

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  • Marriage is just bureaucracy.

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  • Why is marriage a bad thing?

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  • Marriage is fine, its the hugely biased divorce laws that are fucked. If feminists were truly for equality, they'd have something to say about that. But wait, that doesn't benefit THEM.

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  • Marriage certainly has its risks. There are great marriages out there, but most men focus on the horror stories. All that being said, I wouldn't marry in today's times. It's not necessary for happiness or To having a great relationship.

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  • Marriage is not bs in all ways

    But yeah you're right most of the time guys get screwed over

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  • Given the justice system alone marriage is a sham.

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  • Yesss, marriage is for masochists.

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  • it's a way to engage yourself to be faithful with your girl/boy until the death

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  • It's totally pointless.

    It used to be good for tax purposes, at least in my country, but that went the way of the Dodo bird many years ago, so now marriage is totally pointless, and serves only to fill the pockets of "priests" (which is a pointless profession) with money - and the ego of women

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  • The Elves don't marry, or so I've heard.

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