Your opinions on couples living together before marriage?

Should it be okay for a guy to live with a girlfriend? If not, what about after engagement? Or just after marriage?

I have mixed feelings about this, and would like some options.

Also, what about things regarding sleeping? I wouldn't have sex before marriage, but would sleeping in the same bed be okay if we didn't have sex? Or different beds? Different bedrooms altogether?

And when would it be okay to see her in her underwear? I feel it's best to wait for marriage before seeing each other naked, but underwear I'm not sure...

Updates:
Thank you very much for all these options!
By the way, the reason I personally have mixed feelings about these things is because I'm a Christian and unsure what choices He would say where right...
^ for all these opinions* (lol oops)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it's good to live with one another before marriage. That way you know what to expect if the two of you did get married. There's a world of difference between seeing one another for a day and living together. You see their usual living habits and learn to adapt to them.

    I also see no issues with seeing one another naked or sleeping in the same bed. They're living together and it's their home, they should be able to be comfortable in it no matter what they choose to wear or not wear.

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    • Would it be best to wait until the proposal iyo, or just bf+gf?

    • I think an engagement isn't necessary, but a certain amount of time should pass with your relationship. Like if a couple were to move in within a few months of dating then that would be a bit odd, but it's more understandable if they've been together for like 2+ years and have a good and healthy relationship. I also see no problems with a couple who have been together for a long time but can't get engaged yet (putting it off for college/job, not enough money, etc) to move in together.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think living together before marriage is a great idea. After all, a large part of marriage is living with the other person. Personally I'd rather live with someone for a while and find out that it wasn't going to work, rather than finding out after marriage. While you can get to know things about a person while not living together, I don't you can get a full picture of how it's really going to be unless you actually live together. It's like visiting a vacation spot many times and being totally happy with it. Then when you pack up and move there you find out the locals are rude, jobs are hard to find, there is little entertainment, etc. I will say though, living habits do change over the time, and that can be a positive or a negative.

    As long as there is no pressure from her to have sex, I don't see a problem with sleeping in the same bed. And, if you've seen her in a bikini you've pretty much seen her in her underwear. Obviously these are just my opinions, and if your faith is of high importance to you, you can only do what you feel your faith will allow you to do.

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What Girls Said 30

  • I don't see anything morally wrong with it, as I know that many people who are against premarital sex extend that belief over into also not living together before marriage.

    I'd want to live with someone for a bit before tying the knot. However, that's mostly after we were already engaged, or an engagement was in the works. I don't think couples living together when just dating is a good idea, mostly from the financial point of view.

    Imagine having to work out how to split the rent and such things with someone who makes you break down into tears every time you see them because they cheated on you, for example.

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  • I'm a christian as well and I don't believe in sex before marriage. That being said I think that personally I would find it to hard to live with someone without going further so I won't do it. But for another couple if you treated it like a roommate situation and you both talked about keeping it pure, it could work out. Pray about it though!

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  • If you're not having sex before marriage I think it would be unwise to live together.

    For me personally, I wouldn't marry someone without living with them first. Know what I'm really getting into, ya know? A person's "home self" is always a little different than their "out / with company self". And grooming, cleaning and daily habits are things you don't learn of til you live with them.

    I moved in its my boyfriend a few months ago and in that time since moving in I have gone from pretty sure to certain that I will marry him eventually.

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  • My opinions on this kind of stuff is always changing. I believe sex was meant for marriage, but I didn't wait and I don't regret it in the slightest. I've slept in the same bed as my boyfriend many, many times - even before we were having sex. However, I would not live with him until we are married.

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  • I think it's a good idea. I would like to be able to live with a guy and see what he's really like before getting married to him.

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  • We live together before marriage. It works out well for us, but we do have sex so it's a lot easier, I guess.

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  • well, I planned to stay virgin until marriage. So, I dont think there's something wrong with living together before marriage, but i dont know if I'd do it because I don't know about u, but living in the same house could be.. tempting lol

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    • Right. Right... 😕
      At what stage would you find best if you did?

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    • Completely up to u
      Paper work comes with marriage
      depends on the person

    • Well, I most certainly hope my concerns very rarely ever happen... 🙁
      Especially the ring stealing. Those things are $pecial for a rea$on... 💎💔😣

  • I don't judge people who do it. But I wouldn't do it myself.
    Meeting > Getting to know eachother > falling in love> Date > get engaged> get married> have sex. This is how I want it.

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    • Oh and living together would come after marriage

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    • @face palm is right. This generation is screwed up. And marriage is hard when divorce rates are capping 50%.
      I only plan on marrying once, so I would at least need a 3 year long relationship including 1year live in to actually start thinking about marriage.

    • Damn autocorrect @facepalm

  • Sex - wait til marriage.
    Live togeter - for a couple months before the wedding. That way you know if you are compatible. If one is a neat freak and the other isn't or other things that come up when living together but not in conversation it can be good to know.
    See each other in underwear - not before wedding.
    Sleeping in same room/bed - after getting engaged. Just keep the clothes on and hands in safe areas (chest, to yourself, etc).

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  • I don't think couples should get married without living together. If you don't live together you don't really know how compatible you are.

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  • very good actually, how the fuck can I know if I'm gonna be comfortable living with him/her if I marry her/him first?

    gotta test them lolololo

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  • Living and sleeping in bed with your girlfriend does not seem like a problem to me if one was to wait to have sex until after marriage.

    If you don't want to have sex before marriage that's okay, but sleeping in the same bed or seeing your s/o naked is not sex soooo... if you know you'll be tempted to have sex and don't want to before marriage then don't sleep in the same bed or do those things. It's really up to you..

    But moving in before marriage?
    A huge yes to me. One less thing to worry about if you get married.

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  • i have mixed feelings about this myself

    although living together is a nice test drive to see if you don't drive each other crazy, people are always evolving. circumstances and people do change. the character of the same person who you were living with 5 years ago, might not be exactly the same as the one now. so ultimately, i don't think it's significant difference if you do or don't live together before marriage.

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  • Always test drive before actually investing in anything.

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  • I am not into sex after marriage but personally I am not for this. I just prefer to have my personal time and I don't find this idea to be ideal.

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  • I have no issues with it. I'm not religious though and I don't live in the dark ages anymore. I believe in sex and living common law before marriage. I did it and would do it again

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  • I'm not living under the same roof or having sex with a guy that is not my husband.

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  • I think living together before marrying would be helpful, kind of gives you more of an idea that you're compatible

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  • I think it's a great idea. Being in close quarters with someone for longer periods of time helps you really get to know someone.

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  • I believe couples should move in before marriage. Why you may ask? Well you never really know the person until you live with them.

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  • Smart move

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  • Nope.

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  • Me and my girlfriend are moving in together soon. We're not married and we've already had sex. So?

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  • if she is fine with all of this then its your life go ahead but if she isn't don't force her too which some men do (No offence to men) but if you are both comfortable living together and sleep together then go straight ahead.

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  • I think it's good if couples live together before marriage. I feel like it's less pressure and more relaxed for couples to figure things out such as finances and daily routines. It gives couples a chance to see what it's like to live with that person.

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  • I have no opinions on it. I think people should do whatever works for them. I however did not live with my now Husband until after we were married and we had dated for 4 years before hand (together for going on 13years now, married for almost 9). But I think it is important to add that we got married young and were able to live at home with our parents until we got married, so maybe if we were older things would have been different.

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  • I think it truly depends on the couple and their relationship.

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  • Fine by me, i see nothing wrong with it...

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  • I think it's only appropriate after marriage. Mainly because I also agree with only having sex after marriage. If you're serious about not having it before marriage, then you have to take PRECAUTIONS. Precautions involve not getting too intimate and not putting yourself in compromising situations where you'd be tempted to give in.

    Obviously that crosses out living together (being constantly alone together in the same house, who wouldn't eventually cave in that situation?), sleeping in the same bed together (that's just a one-way path to frustration), and I shouldn't even have to explain why being in your UNDERWEAR together is a terrible idea (I mean, really?)

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  • Chill.

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    • More specific, please? 😅

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    • You don't care when you start living with your man?

    • I'm not religious and I do live with my boyfriend already, there is nothing evil about sex or human bodies I think it's childish to think so.

What Guys Said 25

  • Before marrying someone you have to get to know them and the only way you can do that is by dating them and living with them.

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    • What can't you learn about her in dating? (Which can include visiting homes)

  • It is tempting, but it's a trap. It encourages you to look into the idea of marriage for all the wrong reasons, which is a better setup for divorce than it is for real, lasting marriage.

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  • You would be ridiculed for having such views in Europe.

    There is absolutely nothing wrong with living together with your girlfriend or sleeping with her in one bed before marriage.
    And it's also okay to see her in underwear or naked before marriage.

    Don't get me wrong, I love America and think it's the best country in the world, but this is a kind of thinking I can't understand the reasons of.

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    • Christianity.

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    • @lacorine197 Now I can , I hadn't known that he was so pious. I apologize if he felt hurt by me !

    • Oh okay, I thought you was saying you didn't understand why two people would live together before marriage, lol

  • I think people should be able to do whatever they want in their relationship. Which means living together if they choose to do so. Have sex if they choose to do so. No need for marriage.

    We shouldn't be backwards like the regions of the world where you cannot live in the same house as the member of another sex unless they are family members or married to you.

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  • I think couples should live together before marriage or engagement to make sure they still get along when they are around each other constantly, 24/7/365.

    They should definitely have lots of hot pumping sex action too, even before they live together, to make sure they're sexually compatible with each other.

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  • Been with mine for 4 years and we just bought a house together last year, not even engaged yet.

    Unfortunately I can't wrap my head around no sex before marriage but I imagine you could make it work by treating the place as if you were roommates rather than as a couple.

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  • The best way to deal with temptation is to avoid it.

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  • Personally, I'd rather do ALL of those things before marriage. That way i know what I'm getting into before i get chained to someone.

    Even if you don't believe in sex before marriage, i think it'd be a VERY bad idea to marry someone without having lived with them for a while.

    As for sleeping in the same bed: i don't see how that would go against your principles.

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  • There is nothing wrong with this if you both know the situation and the limits as well

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    • Many people are saying thing like "with this", but my post isn't a yes/no question. There's more than one, in fact.

  • We lived together before marrying. No regrets at all. I'd do it again.

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  • It depends upon age, and children in the mix. The older you are, the less it matters. But if children are involved, for goodness sake marry.

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  • Wtf? You should do everything you are gonna do after marriage beforehand just to make sure it will work out. Live in, sex, everything.

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  • I don't believe I'd get married without living together first.

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  • Living together before marriage would be a good idea to try things out and I think it would reduce the occurrence of divorce. Best to know more about what you're getting into.

    As for sleeping, you can be intimate without having sex.

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  • Dude, people should live their lives how they want. Want to live with a women without being married, go ahead.

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  • Good, trial periods are needed.

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  • Yeah I have no problem with it.

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  • My opinion is "playing house" that way once the true colors come out, if the guy or girl doesn't like how" playing house" is turn out they can bail.

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  • Essential.
    That's what i look for.

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  • This is the 21st century my friend
    You can met someone have super sloppy sex with them an hour later and be married 6 months later

    I honestly dont care what people do and im not gonna project my beliefs onto people

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  • What exactly is wrong with it?

    I'm fine with all of it. Do what you want to do

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  • Horrible idea.

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  • fine by me

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  • Completely against it.

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  • I honestly think it's the right thing to do cause you won't know unless you try.

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