Who is right? me or him?

My boyfriend wants to spend his while life with me but he doesn't want to get married. But I am religious and very traditional. I mean for him marrying me is not a sacrification. He won't lose anything but gain. But for me not marrying is unhappiness because I will lose my confidence, make my parents embarassed, feel guilty and sinful. Not to mention if he leaves me and my chidlren (if I have) after living together. This will make me seem like a fool and break my parents' hearts even more. I better get married and divorced, than date, have sex and then break up

  • I am right. We better get married
    43% (6)18% (3)29% (9)Vote
  • He is right. We better date, live together
    14% (2)24% (4)19% (6)Vote
  • we should break up
    43% (6)58% (10)52% (16)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i think u r right.. try to explain him your situation, that marriage is imporant that u wanna family and raise kids with him and that. family is a basic unit of a state and so on. if he loves u he should understand and in my opinion any loving boyfriend who see that his girlfriend is into marriage should ask her to marry him..

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What Guys Said 8

  • It's not about who is right or wrong. It's about compatibility. I doubt if his aversion to marriage is about religion. He probably just doesn't want to get married and doesn't want to commit.

    I'm guessing this is an absolute for you, and you aren't going to give in. Even though he says he doesn't want to get married, he may change his mind if he loves you enough and is willing to commit. I really think this is about commitment, not anything religious.

    As for breaking up, marriage is far from being protection from that. Marriage has little meaning any more, especially for someone like him who doesn't want to do it in the first place.

    My advice? You need to decide if he is worth continuing your relationship. He may or may not change his mind. If you wait, he might. But you might also wait for years and nothing happens. The years of your life are the most precious thing there is. Spend those years wisely. Once you spend them you can't get them back.

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  • It's all about his personal morals, beliefs so he doesn't believe that marriage is something that's not a must to have a fulfilling life.

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  • It seems to me like you're living your life based on your parents approval, which is not good. You have your own life, and you should do what makes you happy.

    That being said, if this guy truly loves you then he would want to spend the rest of his life with you regardless. Marriage is just a "label" in this case. Good luck.

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    • But even if my parents approved I would still reject him. i don't want to live with my boyfriend.

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    • You'll have sex if you aren't married, or live together though? I think you see where I'm going with this...

    • I don't want to have sex before marriage. I am not comfortable with that idea. So I am sure I will get depression if I have

  • you guys aren't compatible. You want to put him into a very risky position that there is no need for him to be in, this is not what you do to someone you love.

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    • It is not risky for me?

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    • yes well you say that now but in the event you guys were to get a divorce that may well not be the case. Far to often the loving, kind, caring, empathetic woman a man marries turns into a shrill vindictive harpy set on destroying his life when divorce happens. No one gets married thinking they will divorce but half of them do and even fewer are actually happy long term.

    • I won't divorce until he wants me to

  • i dont think either of you are necessarily right i think that you both need to talk and see what you guys want to do. this is a major decision. How can either of you be wrong about your feelings just cause they differ if one of you are willing to change mind than fine if not it could be a deal breaker.

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    • what feelings? he doens't want to marry me becasue it is expensive and getting rid of me (divorce) will be harder adn more expensive

    • that is a bs reason sorry i didn't catch where it said that. went back reread still dont catch it lol. If he isn't willing to marry you than you should leave him and find someone loves you enough and that you love enough that is willing since it sounds like you feel very strongly about this.

  • Crazy how these people think you are right so you should get married and he doesn't want to marry and or doesn't believe in it, I think if you two are both serious about eachother's beliefs, you should break up, if you really like him more than the marriage, you should stay together and date, but if you feel as strongly about it, then step one.

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    • And die a virgin?

    • Yes of course, unless marriage is more important which I believe you're only gonna have sex after the marriage, then you should find a different guy.

    • Fun should be after marriage

  • have a common law marriage

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  • You should just end it💁🏻🙁

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    • easy for you to say

    • You're right 💁🏻 but you did ask so I was just trying to help

What Girls Said 7

  • There isn't really a wrong or right in this situation. You two want different things in the future. He doesn't want to get married, but you do. Him wanting to be with you (being a choice) is that not good enough? Or you just want that marriage status? Why don't you compromise, and meet half way, get engaged. And stay that way for a long time.

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  • You guys should get married. Tell him your concerns. My parents would had made me crazy if I didn't get married.

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  • Thats actually kind of romantic. Your not committing to ensure your never alone but to keep the relationship love based. ... Coe dependent on eachother.. per say..

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  • In a relationship, you should have compromises. But stay true to yourself and your beliefs. If he respects that, he will understand why marrying is a big deal to you.

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  • I didn't vote on the poll because neither of you are wrong in feeling the way that you do.

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  • Neither of you are right or wrong for your preference of marriage but the fact that neither of you want to compromise to make the other happy is a bigger red flag to me.

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  • Is he religious? And what's ur religion?

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