Impatience or just plain waste of time?

I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now we have a 1 year old child together. We don't stay together and it doesn't seem like we are going to stay together anytime soon as he is the breadwinner at home.
He is building for his mom, buying her food, toiletry and recently she asked him to get her a helper. Mind you he doesn't earn much and like I said we also have a child of our own. To cut the long story short, I want to have a proper family by that I mean I'm ready to get married actually I want to get married and stay with the father of my child and I feel like I'm running out of patience and I can't sit around and wait for him to build his mother's life before we start our own. Am I selfish or would you also leave someone if they are not ready to make that kind of commitment after 3 years of dating I mean I don't think it takes that long to see if someone is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with or not.

  • leave he is not worth it 3 years is too long
  • Stay and work it out
  • you are just being selfish
  • I would also leave
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • This is your choice and no one elses. However, his mum has had plenty of time to build her own life, even if she's a single lady. Just like my mum has done over the last 11 years. She's also built a life for my sister and I. She just didn't want to be dependent on either of us, so we're free to go to uni.

    Personally, I wouldn't hang around too long. Even with a child, you're young enough to start again with a new guy who isn't fazed by you being a mum.

    • I just didn't want to sound rude but I also feel like she had plenty of time to build a life for herself. My mom is also a single parent she has been the only one taking care of me from the day I was born but even till this day she is also not dependant on me because she worked hard

    • Thanks for MHG! I hope things work out OK for you.

      Take care, stay safe!


What Guys Said 4

  • No, you are not selfish at all. I can understand what you are saying.

  • If you're leaving because it's been 3 years, then that's a shitty reason.

    If my girlfriend gave me an ultimatum to commit or leave, I'd call her a cab. Rushing the relationship will make it fail, on top of the fact that your age range is 18-24 which isn't the "til death do you part" age (mid 30s+ is the age of highest survivability)

    If it's because he's being a complete tool to his mom, then it's understood

  • Have you actually brought up the issue with him?

    • Yes I have but all he hears somehow is me saying he must abandon his mother which is not what I am saying at all

  • Leave him and cotact me to try


What Girls Said 1

  • Work on it. Even if not for yourselves, for the fact that you have a child