I'm planning on getting married if all goes well in September. My fiances mother has been getting involved. She wants to help pick out the hall, etc. i suggested a place in my hometown but she keeps texting me places around where she still lives and my fiance grew up. My parents are ethnic so I wanted to have a cultural wedding. I talked to her over the weekend and told her all I really need from her is a list of people I would invite and that I would keep her in the loop if I come up with any plans. I haven't put she has been texting me ideas.
on top of it she wants to throw me a bridal shower. I agreed because I felt like there was a lot of pressure for me to say yes, but the reason she wants to have it is because her friends take turns throwing showers for each others daughters. I don't really know ber friends at all so the shower is going to consist of all her friends. I'm sure my mother won't feel comfortable going (I told my future in law this) and I thought it was the woman's family who did the bridal shower.
me and my fiance wanted to pay for the wedding but my future mother in law said she insists she pays for a good chunk of it and that it is not up for compromise. So I feel if she will be paying for a lot of it she automatically gets a say in the wedding. I don't want a big wedding and the place I want to have it at is nice but is $25 a plate. She said the food probably won't be good if it's only that muchand she was looking at places that are about $75/plate.
Maybe I grew up differently but I always thought the wedding was something the bride got to plan like at least picking the location.
Most Helpful Guy
You and you fiancee need to put your foot down on this. It won't work going up against her alone, you need his support. You need to tell her that her ideas are being taken into consideration but that the wedding is for you and him.
Re: the bridal shower it IS actually the groom's mother who should do it, or someone not related to the bride iirc.
That being said, I think a good compromise will be to let her contribute to the cost of the whole thing and pick the food, $25-$75 per head is a huge difference in quality and everybody benefits from better food, plus it will pacify her somewhat. If you like the venue, perhaps you can get higher quality outside catering to come in?0
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