Afraid to get married?

So my boyfriend is older than me. he has had 2 fiances. i have a friend and he's getting divorced. everyone one in my family has. I'm afraid to get married but i want a man in my life when I'm older. what if i get divorced. being together is better but not married cause you don't have to go through a divorce is better i think. anyone agree?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • People act like there's some magical force that stops you from falling in love and being committed and having a family if you don't get married.

    Prenups can also be a good idea. People think prenups are these things where one person is just not trusting their partner but that's just silly. You can have a prenup basically just dictate what will happen in the event of divorce that you both agree upon that you have to stick to (so you know think it through) that way there's no lengthy court appearances for divorce. It goes down much faster and quicker and everyone got what they originally wanted.

    Don't let anyone pressure you into marriage but also don't let anyone bully you out of it. If you guys are truly in love go for it. But plan accordingly and be smart and realistic with each other and things can't go that badly then.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • i totally understand where you're coming from. by the time i was 14, i had already decided that i wouldn't be getting married; everyone in my family (save one set of grandparents) is divorced, as well as many of my friends, and it kinda ruined the idea for me.

    i never planned to be married to anything but my career. but (spoiler alert) my man and i see marriage in our future~ unlike other people i'd dated, he was intelligent and willing to work to earn my trust, and i like him enough to want him in my life long-term.

    my other half has been engaged twice, but it doesn't bother me. everything happens for a reason and, in this case, the reason is that he's coming to the altar with me. lol.

    the way i look at it is, everyone else fucked it up so that i don't have to. i'm going to do this only once, and i'm going to do it right.

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What Guys Said 2

  • See, here is the problem. You are only 19 and you are already worried about marriage. Your boyfriend has proposed to two girls already, how old is he, about 24 maybe? What is his hurry? What does he do, date for a few months and then propose? I think people rush into it too fast and therefore don't fully know who it is they are marrying. Let me guess... No sex before marriage, right?

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  • Yeah I agree but I guess you have to give it a shot once but obviously the only way to not get divorced is to never get married

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    • Not to many women will stay with a guy with out taking that next step further and want marriage

What Girls Said 5

  • Sort of agree, I mean if you love that person and want to get married then do so, divorce is always an option, its just a little more work than breaking up due to a paper that needs to be filed. Regardless after a certain time once you live with that boyfriend, some of the same legal rules apply when you're married if you break up.

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  • Do not marry him if you feel that you may divorce one day. Marry him because you know you want him by your side for the rest of your life. Divorces aren't that easy. And if you had kids wit him then putting that into the mix just gets more complicated and both emotionally and finically difficult. Make sure you marry for the right reasons. Hopefully you've known each other for at least a year. These are simply my opinion. You are free to do as you wish of course. I hope it all works out for you :)

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  • Not really. Life is for taking chances and hoping for the best outcome, not holding back just because you fear the worst.

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  • I could go either way. Ill be committed an love him reguardless so it makes no difference in my eyes. Marriage doesn't enhance nor deplete a relationship.

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  • Maybe it's because your boyfriend has had 2 failed engagements
    I would be afraid to marry a guy like that

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    • just any guy I'm gonna date in general I don't know if i would want to get married

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