Why are we all afraid to say the "L" word?

So here it is...I ve been dating this guy for 3 months already last night we were hanging out and he asked me "do you love me?" ...I wanted to say"Yes I do damn it!" But my answer was I Like you a lot and I care a lot about u. He then asked me do you see yourself being in love with me in the future? I said yes definitely...I then in return I asked him "do you love me" he said Umm I need to get to know you more.." Did he really want to say he loved me and was hoping I would say yes I do love you

or is he checking to see how sprung I am.

Who came up with these rules. Like the other person has to say it first. Should I wait until he says it or should I confess and tell him the truthe ? Help !

Updates:
Well I saw him yesterday night and he seems like he is over me. He said I hold back to much and that's not working out for him. I don't know what else to do. It feels like a game ...Like he just wants the ego boost of knowing he has another one in the bag.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you actually do love him, then you shoudn't be afraid to tell him. Love should be something that gives you courage, and you shoud have the courage to tell him. If it makes you really uneasy to have to be the one to say it first, then maybe don't plan it all out. Maybe just the next time when opportunity arises, follow your instincts and say it.

    I think the reason he didn't say it is maybe the same reason you did. It's just something that we can't really say so freely and really mean it and whatnot.

    I think the reason a lot of us are so hesitant to say is probably one or a couple of the following:

    a) We're afraid to how they will react- we wouldn't want to scare them off or something, but at the same time, we probably want to hear it back as well...and if we're unsure of what they might say...wer're unsure of whether or not we should say it.

    b) We're stubborn and we want the other person to say it first- it's always nice to know you're loved, and then that gives us eventual confidence to say it back. And if it's girls, we think sometimes it's the guy's 'duty' to say it first, haha.

    c) We're somewhere in between- between strong like and love that is. Or maybe we're confused as to waht the word really means to us and to the other person, so we don't really want to use it until we're sure of it's definition.

    Personally, I don't say it because I used to say it to my guy...until he asked me if I really actually loved him, or was it a strong like. I thought about it, and I found myself in category c) so I didn't tell him I loved him again. I just want to make sure that I really do beofre I say it, because I could tell that he was kind of hurt that I kind of said it a little too cavalier.

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    • You are so right. I think I'm catefory b....About a month or so he asked the same question but it was do you really like me? I said of course I do. I asked him the same question back and he said sometimes I do like you and other times I'm over it. I felt like a fool admiting how much I liked him when he wasn't sure of his feelings. . . This I part of the reason I held back from bein honest when he asked me the love question...he then explained that he does like me his answere came out wrong.

What Guys Said 4

  • well its just like stating the obvious,isnt it? Its always the guy who has to take this risk and in most cases...take the fall too! well nywayz I think this guy does love you but doesn't want to get crushed wen he proposes.So you just have to start showing him d signs if you're interested-he'll definitely propose to you first.

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    • I don't have a problem with saying it. But this guy isn't even my boyfriend. I ask him about our status and he says why do we have to label what we are. So there for its hard for me to even say that I love him when he doenst wnat the relationship with me.

    • Well then...you'll just have to wait-no other option.Keep patience and hope things go well.

    • Wait? that's the worse

  • I am not afraid

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  • most people are stubborn and unsure about there love for one another. There's no way to diminish the fear of the "L" word until your life has become more intricate and until you are more sure about your relationship.

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  • Maybe you should sit down and tell him exactly what you have said on here. Then you can both admit that you love each other and laugh at the whole situation :P

    On a personal note, I'm afraid to say it because I've only said it once and the girl quite literally ran away and stopped talking to me ha. Doesn't exactly fill you with confidence to ever use it again!.

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    • OH no that's horrible. Well he acts like he likes me and it just feels like its a trick questions. I've only been in love once and that laster 5 years. I think I should sit down and tak this out. Thanks

What Girls Said 1

  • I think he does love you. I have noticed that a guy isn't going to ask you a question if they don't feel the same way. He was just playing it safe. For example, I asked a guy if he missed me. But instead of answering he asked me if I missed him and I said yeah. Then he said yeah. So I'm thinking that he was just making sure yall were on the same page.

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    • I know what you mean. I felt like he wanted me to say yes...I was just afraid to say so...Like I felt I would be vulnerable....and could risk him saying no I dont....then I would feel really stupid. I also feel like I'm giving him the upper hand I feel like he'll take advantage of those feelings that I have.

    • Yeah I understand. It's kinda hard to really know if a guy is in it for you these days. But "being in love" doesn't have to be express by just saying it, so you guys can express it to each other in other ways like through actions.

    • Your right...but he's hot and cold at times. Its hard to read him..

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