How long should you date someone before you think about getting married?

How long should you date someone before you think about getting married?I am 61 and my thoughts on this subject are probably very different than your thoughts. How long should you date your partner before you think about proposing? Please leave comments and explain your thinking on this subject.

  • If you are 21 or under, at least six months.
    3% (1)10% (2)5% (3)Vote
  • If you are 21 or under, at least one year.
    6% (2)0% (0)4% (2)Vote
  • If you are 21 or under, at least two years.
    17% (6)19% (4)18% (10)Vote
  • If you are between 21 and 30, at least six months.
    0% (0)0% (0)0% (0)Vote
  • If you are between 21 and 30, at least one year.
    17% (6)14% (3)16% (9)Vote
  • If you are between 21 and 30, at least two years.
    40% (14)38% (8)39% (22)Vote
  • I don't believe anyone should ever get married.
    17% (6)19% (4)18% (10)Vote
And you are? I'm a GirlI'm a Guy

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I think it all depends on the situation with both the relationship and the individuals inside of it. For example, I've been with my boyfriend 3 years and we aren't engaged or married. I doubt that'll even happen until we're done with college and get good jobs, which is perfectly fine with me. But I do think couples should be together at least a year or so before thinking of popping the question.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I think it's a mix of how long you've been together but also how your life is at the time. I mean I think that you should be together around 2 years or so but I also think that you should have the means and stability to actually support and go into a marriage.

    So if you have been together say 2 years but you don't have the means, stability or finances in your life to bring someone new into it then you shouldn't. But if you have been together around 2 years and your life is stable your making decent money, not in debt or anything and all that then go for it.

    Personally I wouldn't think about proposing or propose until around the 2 year mark.

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What Girls Said 13

  • it really depends on the couple; i voted f, though i believe that everyone should wait at least 2 years before tying the knot, regardless of age.

    here's why: if you've been together less than a year, chances are that the supposed "love" you feel is actually puppy love, or infatuation. sure, you might both like dogs and watch the same kinds of tv shows, but you have no idea what kind of person s/he really is.

    so maybe she's happy for you when you get promoted, or he's excited to hear that you're pregnant. but what if you get fired, have a miscarriage, attempt suicide, find out that a relative close to you has passed away, or are diagnosed with a serious illness? will that person still support you, or will s/he bail on you faster than s/he would a car on fire?

    of course, if you see marriage in your future, definitely bring it up when and if the relationship starts to get serious. just like politics or religion, you should know where your other half stands.

    my boyfriend brought up marriage a couple of months into our relationship because it was important to him. and, while i never had any intention of getting married to anyone, ever, i heard him out without running away screaming. we still do discuss it from time to time, though we agreed to wait at least 2 years (which will be November of this year for us) before actually getting hitched.

    unfortunately, a lot of people don't take that kind of commitment seriously anymore.

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  • The younger you are, the longer you should get to know them first, because you don't know yourself as well when you're younger so you don't even know what you want as much. I think if you're young to get married, like under 21-22, you should know the person for a long time first (like around 5 years or more). That way you will have had a chance to experience growing up alongside that person and you will know that you can still stick together even as you change.

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  • I mean, regardless of where yr own thoughts lie... why didn't you toss in **at least one** option for something like "whenever it feels right", or "there isn't a specific timeframe", or "sometimes you just know"?

    My husband put a ring on my finger less than 6 months after we met -- and that was when we were long-distance, too. We'd spent a total of about 15-16 days seeing each other in flesh and blood at that point. I was 25 years old at the time.
    Both of us had absolutely been mistrustful of long-term relationships altogether up to that point -- let alone marriage -- so it's not as though we were over-eager in general. We just KNEW.

    ... and, I mean, yr question isn't even about official engagement -- it's about THINKING about marriage!
    Eh?

    Srsly, some of these options? 2+ years before THINKING about marriage?

    I mean, let's be serious here.
    If you are done with yr formal education, you've been in a relationship with the same person for more than a year, and you HAVEN'T at least TALKED about where yr relationship is headed in the long term... then SOMETHING IS WRONG.
    What the hell are you DOING with yr life?
    Flying around in a holding pattern?
    In a shitty dead-end relationship and just denying it?

    Yr not getting any younger, peeps.

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    • This site only allows 7 choices on any poll. Answers outside of the poll choices are covered by posting opinions, as you have done. Your perspective as an older woman is different from the perspective of younger people. The questions that you asked and issues that you raised are very relevant but they are slightly different questions and can be asked in different polls.

      As for me, I have been married most of my adult life but I am currently divorced. I have been dating a good woman for one year. Perhaps a year from now, if we are still together and going strong, I will start talking to her about marriage. I appreciate the reminder that I am getting older but I am already aware that I am getting older; that is part of the wisdom that comes with age.

    • Ironically, no, you're misinterpreting me.
      If I were facing this kind of decision at my current age, I'd be much more laid-back about the timeframe thing, because there'd be... much less of a hurry, really.

      A woman's most fertile years are her late teens and early 20's, and then her fertility goes down from there. I'm not saying that women should have babies in their teens, of course -- but, if having children is something that's being considered, then YOUNGER couples are exactly the ones who need to have some urgency about this kind of thinking. (For the same reason -- among many, many others -- I'm also a strong advocate of marriages in which the man is 5-10 years older.)

      Once a woman is past the point where "age of maximum fertility" is reasonably an issue, then, heck, drag the process out all you want. Lol.

  • I think that no matter what your age, you should date someone for over a year before getting married. I wouldn't get married to anyone I'd been dating for less than two years.

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  • Depends on how comfortable you are with that person and if you think your ready for that kind of thing.

    Marriage to me is dumb, you don't need a piece of paper to prove anything. Buying a useless ring, wedding, etc is a dumb way to prove how much you love them. You shouldn't need to do something to trap another just so they won't ever leave you.

    Only reason to ever marry someone is if it legally makes both your lives easier. That all it's meant to do is give legal benefits.

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  • Id like to date him at least 2yrs before engagement.

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  • There's a huge difference between 21 and 30...

    I don't think anyone under 25 should even think about marriage, regardless of how long they've been dating.

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  • There is no definite time frame. People aren't dating to get married in these current times. Maybe more for people who still follow the same traditions as their elders or are religious.

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  • I think no matter your age, date at least 2 years and be engaged for 1.

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  • 3-5 years.

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  • A few years. What's the rush?

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  • 2 months is more than enough

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  • It's different for every couple, but I think you need to date someone for at least 3 years before getting engaged. There's no sense in rushing things; it's so important to get to know each other inside out before getting married. Get to know their quirks, their strongest beliefs, their best and worst qualities, their goals, their families, and their daily habits - that's the only way to know if you can live with that person for the rest of your life.

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What Guys Said 12

  • Once you know it is right. My wife and I knew a couple of days after meeting. We were formally engaged less than a month after meeting and married less than two months after meeting. We were still happily together when she passed away from cancer after 39 years together.

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  • i think it depends entirely on the people, their relationship and their personal goals for the relationship... basically i don't feel like you can put a time frame on it since there are so many variable in every relationship

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  • no time frame.

    You know they're the one that when you think about your own welfare, you inadvertently think about theirs, and more importantly, when arguments and such ultimately lead to both parties becoming stronger and more confident in each orher, knowing that by working together, they can overcome any obstacle in their path.

    There's no timeframe that. Put in the effort, it'll happen naturally.

    Make the effort to actually see the person for who they really are.

    @justbanANNAz wrote an excellent my take on this now that I think about it

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  • I don't think there is any defined time limit

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  • At least 2 years, because you do not want to get married to soon and find out your incompatible. My cousin got married after dating his ex wife for 2 weeks, it was 2 weeks or 2 months, can't remember. Marrying right away may have worked in the middle ages and renaissance but things have changed drastically over the centuries, better safe then sorry.

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  • I would say a couple of years at least. You have to know what you are getting into and not take it lightly or just go with the flow.

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  • This is tough. I said two years just to be on the safe side. This is assuming marriage is a forever deal. Allowing for things like divorce changes things. Experience with relationships and others also affects this. Other factors, such as economic independence, a house, and other things also play a role in this. (The more you have and are prepared for, the easier time you should have dealing with marriage.) Don't forget a pre-nup! Those are some of my thoughts if you are considering marriage.

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  • you get married when both parties can afford the responsibities

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  • No sooner than two years.

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  • At least a year to think about it and two to consider if its a wise decision and if they are the one

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  • at least one year, in my opinion

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  • At least 2 days. At most 3 days..
    What? You play CoD? Marry me pls.

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