I don't think I'm meant for marriage?

I'm independent and don't think I could handle sharing money with someone or not having the privacy of my own room, and I feel it would be weird if I went off alone at random. I did fall in love with my friend and I still love him but things didn't work out and I don't think I could love anyone like I loved him.

I know a lot of couples do things separately at times but my parents say it's not a good idea, yet I would want that independence and time apart... or maybe I'm just bad at commitment. Even with my friend and I, I love him to death and I was heartbroken when we couldn't be a couple (I still love him) and as much as I could sit and talk to him all night, there were occasions where I needed some space. I also tend to get irritated if I'm around the same person for too long (except him... I only really needed space when we fought, but occasionally other times). I'm not a very open person either. As much as I'd want to marry and start a family I don't think it's for me. Is this weird/wrong?


0|0
5|4

Most Helpful Guy

  • Nah, screw what anyone else tells you otherwise. You pick and decide you own fate and y on you want to be and what you want to do or not want to do. Don't follow the crowd and o what is expected to be the "norm" just because everyone else said that is the way they expect of you. If you don't really want to marry then you don't have to. It's optional, not obligational or mandatory.

    Get your priorities straight, if your own finances and having control of them is very important to you as well as the same goes for privacy then it's just going to be your personal priorities over anyone or anything else. Marriage is always about compromise, growth, and development, which are ongoing and should be ongoing processes. If compromises and negotiations don't work out, then it is time to move on and split, instead of being unhappy about it.

    0|0
    0|0
    • I don't have problems with compromise it's just my parents say the husband is in control and that's how it needs to be and he gets to finalize decisions and handle the money and nothing I'd do would be separate from him. I don't wanna be told what to do so I don't think I could marry haha but at the same time it would be nice, just not possible (at least not within the guidelines of my religion)

Most Helpful Girl

  • No, of course not. It's very unhealthy to be around someone 24/7 because its suffocating. You don't have to marry or have children or share a room with a guy. This is the 21st century, and your ideology is more common than you thought. Take me for example. Recently I've dicovered that I'm happy living an idependent life. I love children, but I don't see myself as a mother at the moment. I don't see myself married. I don't know If I'll ever change my mind about it in the future. I don't know If I'm bisexual or heterosexual. However, I know for a fact that the universally accepted thruth of love and marriage doesn't necessarily have to be what I believe in or what I want for myself. There is no correct or incorrect way of loving someone or staying with someone. Even the most perfect couple we perceive are having marriage problems of their own, and some of these perceived perfect couples end in a divorce. What you want for yourself should always come first. The person you are right now is the one you should focus on. You don't want marriage or children? so be it! your ideology is as important as everyone elses. :D

    1|0
    0|0

What Guys Said 3

  • First , the idea of marriage (at least for me) isn't about being with each other all the time but Marriage is like we both are ( Don't know how to say it) setting a tone or a rhythm for our life that makes it easier for us to be happy doing whatever we do even if we are doing it separately. (I hope am making sense).
    Secondly , and according to what I said previously and what you said , You feels this way cauze you are in love and you are sure that this love you can't have so you think that if this won't end in a marriage then nothing will. But , let me till you life can surprise you in good ways. You have to just believe in yourself.

    0|0
    0|0
  • A lot of people are like this to be honest, you just don't hear about it as much. It's about finding the right person to be with and that's right for you. Lots of people in marriages have separate everything, money, bedroom etc. It's more common than you think. Some people will say it's wrong because they don't understand it or just don't believe in it but it doesn't make it wrong. You do what's right for you and your relationship. If it works and both of you are happy that's all that matters, not what others think it should be like. I'm exactly like you in these areas, I'm not married but again, it's just about finding the right person who understands you and has the same likes/dislikes.

    0|0
    0|0
  • Not everyone is meant for marriage

    0|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 4

  • That's totally normal. It's actually become a trend to have two master bedrooms in new houses because spouses sleep seperatly. I don't know what your parents are thinking tht married couples don't need personal time. Everyone needs alone time.

    Basically my thought is this. If you end up getting married great. If you end up staying single great. You haven't even lived a quarter of your life so far though so I wouldn't stress out about it.

    0|0
    0|0
  • It's totally normal not to feel ready for marriage around our age lol

    0|0
    0|0
    • I know, but I'm seeing friends my age get engaged and I kind of feel behind haha but I don't wanna be bound to someone. it's a scary thought

    • You and me both lol so many of my friends are engaged, havin kids, etc. Meanwhile I just want to go to the bar and have fun lol. There's no time frame on when we should do things, and it's easy to forget that sometimes.

  • You are what you are. If you say so, then you are definitely not suited for mRriage. Casual dating yeah!

    0|0
    0|0
  • then don't get married lol

    0|0
    0|0
Loading...