Is it Wrong to Want to Get Married Now?

I mean, screw all of this stupid Sexual Revolution stuff of waiting until I am in my 30s, financially stable, and all that junk. My desire is entirely irrational, but life itself is irrational. Marriage is what would make me happy and I think that life is too short to do anything less. Yes I am still a student living with my parents, but I also work and consider myself pretty mature being the oldest child. I learned a lot about children and family life from taking care of my younger siblings and observing my parents' own marriage, which occurred right after high school when they were about my age. This was in 1998.

More than anything at all, I want to be able to devote myself to someone completely. I need that feeling of making a total, selfless sacrifice. Maybe it is some Freudian tendency rooted in my status as the oldest child, but I feel like unless I am taking care of someone and/or emptying myself, that my life has no purpose or meaning. I want to get married so that I can take care of my wife, devote myself to her, and have someone in my life I can love and cherish. I am like Dean Winchester. I NEED to sacrifice myself for someone else. The paternal instinct is ridiculous inside of me.

That said, is it wrong to want to get married right now? I don't feel like I can wait much longer. I don't care if we have to live with our parents until graduation. Religiously it is less shameful to me than shacking up unmarried. I don't care if people laugh at me and I have to sacrifice my youth. It just seems vain and meaningless anyway. I would find true meaning in being a husband and fatherhood.

What should I do? How should I resolve these feelings? Are they normal for men my age? Particularly firstborns like myself?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • It's not wrong, I want to get married too lol! Tbh, if I found the perfect man and we were together for like 2 years I would have married him by now, why wait? Doesn't mean I have to start getting babies from now!
    My mom got married at 23 and she thinks it's one of her best decisions!
    In HS there was this super Hot girl in senior year who was 19 and she was married but nobody knew because she kept it secret so nobody judges her and it was so awkward because many guys used to flirt with her thinking she was free lol didn't stop her from getting her HS diploma with a good score and going to Uni while being married. People think that marriage is the end of the world or something...
    It's not, if you're not the type of person who wants to sleep around and if you are monogamous and abstinent/

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Most Helpful Guy

  • If that's absolutely what you really want, to be someone's dad and husband and that absolutely will bring you fulfillment and satisfaction as being your very important life goal, then so be it.

    No one can or should tell you that you shouldn't despite everything else. Just know that it's not going to be easy and a cakewalk and that it will absolutely require effort, patience, and the cooperation between you and spouse as well as the much needed support from your family. it has to all work together harmoniously or it's gonna be difficult if not impossible.

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What Girls Said 9

  • that;s actually beautiful the way you feel... but i would be VERY careful because these days a lot of people can take advantage of such nice feelings and desire to please

    anyways, i dont think its a bad idea at all and i do encourage you HOWEVER... i recommend you wait untill graduation at least... i know the waiting is hard but you will only have those couple of yours of school now, and the rest of your life to be married... so for now focus on your studies and career
    and when you graduate look for the one

    waiting a little bit more would be better than rushing into something this big and having to live with your parents (you DO need privacy and independence as a married couple) or having to juggle school and marriage and both are huge, you might fail at one because of the other and both are VERY important... so yea.
    and besides your time in HS and college will help you grow as a person... which will benefit you of course as a working man and husband

    basically, its alright but wait just a couple of more years... or maybe get engaged now and make the marriage happen after two or three years
    and choose very wisely and carefully and get to know her very well because its a huge responsibility and you dont want to invest such good feelings in a bad woman..

    thats my opinion on it...

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  • Wrong to get married now? Of course its not wrong!! You can get married whenever you want if you see that you can afford everything it takes! If it would make u happy then go for it 😊

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  • I wish every person was like you. Most Americans are Christians but they don't believe in waiting until marriage anymore. Premarital sex (not casual) is what has lead to many problems in America.

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  • Nope it's not wrong at all 😊 .. The fact da u said u want to devote yourself to one person.. it's so fucking cute!!! >.>

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  • I want to get married at 22 or 23. I don't see anything wrong with people marrying young.

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  • Well, make sure you find the right woman!

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  • I like your perspective. Its sort of romantic

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  • I want to get married and have a family. I am getting older and I am tired of waiting. I'm on the cuspid of thirty and I want to have that next chapter in my life. I'm ready, I just need to find the groom. :/

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  • Are you a virgin?

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    • Show All
    • That's not true. I'm more than satisfied with masturbation at the moment. I want marriage because I want the ability to devote myself completely to someone else.

    • Yeah yeah sure sure

What Guys Said 12

  • It's not wrong man, we just want what we want and you want nothing wrong. Good luck finding a girl who also wants to get married at 20 though.

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  • It's not wrong, if you know you and whoever you choose can maintain a stable household/way of living... go for it.

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  • No. Why would it be?

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    • Because the secular world says I'm too young

    • Some people do get married young and they're fine. A lot of it depends on what you understand about marriage and what it requires. The overwhelming majority of the secular world does not.

  • That sounds like stupid reason to me. You NEED it you just can't feel at peace till you sacrifice yourself? Do you have a Jesus complex? I thought I was desperate but you, just chill bruh. No sense I making a bold move you'll regret because you didn't bother to really think it through.

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  • Well sure knock yourself out.

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  • yes its wrong, binding yourself by contract until death or divorce to another human being is barbaric.

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  • That sounds pretty ressonable.
    Most important part of marriage is feeling comfortable enough with your significant other.
    Finding the right one to marry is by far the hardest part.
    Good luck.

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  • It's wrong to get married for the wrong reasons, and yes, in the wrong timing.

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  • If you're in love with someone, why not? There's no magical right time.

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  • Man thats very good , nothing is better than marriage

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  • In on another divorce statistics.

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    • My parents married young and they're still together. On the other hand, all the oldsters who belittled them for not waiting longer are now divorcing en masse as they approach their 50s.

  • ye that's gay

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