I mean, screw all of this stupid Sexual Revolution stuff of waiting until I am in my 30s, financially stable, and all that junk. My desire is entirely irrational, but life itself is irrational. Marriage is what would make me happy and I think that life is too short to do anything less. Yes I am still a student living with my parents, but I also work and consider myself pretty mature being the oldest child. I learned a lot about children and family life from taking care of my younger siblings and observing my parents' own marriage, which occurred right after high school when they were about my age. This was in 1998.
More than anything at all, I want to be able to devote myself to someone completely. I need that feeling of making a total, selfless sacrifice. Maybe it is some Freudian tendency rooted in my status as the oldest child, but I feel like unless I am taking care of someone and/or emptying myself, that my life has no purpose or meaning. I want to get married so that I can take care of my wife, devote myself to her, and have someone in my life I can love and cherish. I am like Dean Winchester. I NEED to sacrifice myself for someone else. The paternal instinct is ridiculous inside of me.
That said, is it wrong to want to get married right now? I don't feel like I can wait much longer. I don't care if we have to live with our parents until graduation. Religiously it is less shameful to me than shacking up unmarried. I don't care if people laugh at me and I have to sacrifice my youth. It just seems vain and meaningless anyway. I would find true meaning in being a husband and fatherhood.
What should I do? How should I resolve these feelings? Are they normal for men my age? Particularly firstborns like myself?
Most Helpful Girl
It's not wrong, I want to get married too lol! Tbh, if I found the perfect man and we were together for like 2 years I would have married him by now, why wait? Doesn't mean I have to start getting babies from now!
My mom got married at 23 and she thinks it's one of her best decisions!
In HS there was this super Hot girl in senior year who was 19 and she was married but nobody knew because she kept it secret so nobody judges her and it was so awkward because many guys used to flirt with her thinking she was free lol didn't stop her from getting her HS diploma with a good score and going to Uni while being married. People think that marriage is the end of the world or something...
It's not, if you're not the type of person who wants to sleep around and if you are monogamous and abstinent/
Most Helpful Guy
If that's absolutely what you really want, to be someone's dad and husband and that absolutely will bring you fulfillment and satisfaction as being your very important life goal, then so be it.
No one can or should tell you that you shouldn't despite everything else. Just know that it's not going to be easy and a cakewalk and that it will absolutely require effort, patience, and the cooperation between you and spouse as well as the much needed support from your family. it has to all work together harmoniously or it's gonna be difficult if not impossible.0