Why did people criticize me for wanting to have sex in highschool, but now encourage me to do it with my wife?

I wanted to have consensual sex with a few certain people in highschool and when I asked for advice, I was called a disrespectful pig. I never got to have sex in highschool and while I do regret it, Im married and people are encouraging me to have sex with my wife. Its kind of confusing because in college I asked if marriage guarantees sex and this woman told me, "marriage doesn't mean that women loose their free will"
So why is all this happening Im so confused and I appreciate all help thanks


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Most Helpful Girl

  • In general people discourage high school students / teenagers from having sex because teens are young and their brains are still developing, so adults worry that even though it is a consensual choice, it is a choice the teens will regret, or that they will not carry out safely (not using protection, etc.) Adults have this attitude about teens in other ways too - for example high school students are usually criticized for getting tattoos.

    As for marriage, no you are not guaranteed sex. You still need consent, otherwise it is marital rape. If you or your wife don't want to have sex on a certain night, then you don't need to have sex.
    But I think people probably are encouraging you to have sex as a married person because we live in a society where everyone assumes that the goal is to get married and have children. So now that you're married that is supposed to be the next step. Of course, you absolutely don't have to have children. It's just kinda what people expect so they encourage it.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • In high school you do not know what you know now, and you are a virgin. When you lose your virginity, you can never get it back. In fact it is so special, virginal women have been prized in every single society, even this one. If you had sex in high school without it being with the woman you adore, love, cherish, and cannot live without, you would lose something you'd never get back. You regret this? Why? Do you not understand that you are forever bonded to any woman you sleep with.

    It is best to be sexually bonded with the one woman whom you love more than your own life, who you would die for. It can take decades to find her, if at all. That is what they mean. If you have found her, if you truly love her, have sex often, cherish her, and she will give you her body willingly, freely, and often, just to be close to you, just to love you and give you release, because she cares for you, because you care for her.

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What Girls Said 2

  • LOL @ you actually being confused about this.

    Married couples typically have sex to be intimate and connect emotionally and please each other, as a way of expressing their love (not to mention if they want to get pregnant as well). But you don't have to if you don't want to. Don't worry so much about it, sheesh.

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  • How the heck does this even come up in conversation? The only person who should care how much sex you are having is your wife

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    • Nevermind, I just realized you posted about it on GAG - no sympathy from me

What Guys Said 1

  • The people that told you that are very stupid. Sex is normal human nature.

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