Is marriage really worth it all?

Quick back story; I've always wanted to get married as a child, have that dreamy big wedding, lots of white, lots of music, flowers and a huge white dress, having my man standing gorgeously crying when he sees me. (the bitch would have no choice. hehe). However, as i grew older, I changed as a person (obviously) I don't want children, and someone with children would be a deal breaker, same with someone who would want children would be a deal breaker. And i don't want to get married. Seeing my mother go through her second divorce, seeing her friend deal with a divorce, my grandmother, other family friends, made me wonder what the whole point is of marriage if people only end up divorcing, or constantly complaining about it? - Whenever i asked someone if they like being married, they always said the same things "You need to learn to not listen to them" or "Life ends when marriage begins". So, bringing me to now; I'm in a happy relationship, with a female (who knows what happened to the crying man :P), we have similar opinions on children, future, however, she want's to get married. I told her i don't like the concept of marriage, but she's slowly convincing me to agree to let her propose in the future, however, my opinion hasn't changed. I don't see the point in marriage. - So to all you newly weds and old married couples, what is your opinion on marriage? Is it really worth it?
(Sorry for such a long post, i needed to vent more than anything)


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would say it is IF you are very compatible. For example, sex is a massive thing in my life and I believe that one can have sex for recreation and "love". I also don't believe in monogamy, hence I am polyamorous. So if I find a girl who thinks the way I do, and we are good together, there is no reason why I wouldn't want to marry her. The only thing that most people don't realise with marraige is that it's an expensive commitment. So once you do this, it's best to make it work, which is why compatibility is important. It's important because marraige and long term commitment takes sacrifice. You have to sacrifice a little bit of yourself to make it work. But not so much that you lose yourself or become co- dependent. But once you know this, there is no reason it shouldn't work out.

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    • "expensive commitment" huhwhat?

      Done right, marriage is LESS expensive than any other kind of relationship, because you can have the full confidence that you don't need to have two of this, and two of that, and two x's and two y's and two z's, and you can pick up each other's slack. And (in most countries besides the US) married couples usually benefit on taxes, too.
      And even here in the land of the marriage-tax-penalty, spouses still benefit on insurance policies and suchlike.

      I mean, dude, marriage is pretty much *inarguably* the least expensive lifestyle.

      I think you may be thinking of expensive weddings, maybe? Or expensive divorces? But marriage itself is certainly not expensive.

    • @redeyemindtricks you 100% right. It is unarguably the cheapest relationship type. But that's if there are two incomes and everything is oh so happy;) I did mean it's an expensive episode if it fails, which is more likely than not if stats are to go by. I've seen life destroying divorces and even kids being used as weapons in legal battles. But that said, you should at least be proud of me that for such a cynical bastard, I did say it can work😁

    • Yes you did 👍🏽💋

Most Helpful Girl

  • My husband and I celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary last month.

    Both of us WERE totally like "fuck marriage". Both of us grew up giving the side-eye to long-term commitments in general. Both of us were restless, rebellious, sexually confident, promiscuous, and dynamic. Both of us were absolutely thriving on our own.

    And then... we met.

    We had about 15 hours together, and oh did we make the most of it... then we were long-distance for over a year. By just a few months into that year, I already had a ring on my finger, and we belonged to each other... for life.

    Our marriage is fucking awesome.
    It's so amazing, and so fulfilling, that it brings tears to my eyes even to write this sentence.
    And it just gets better, and better, and betterandbetterandbetter.

    We have a partnership that makes EVERYTHING in life easier.
    NOTHING is harder, more fraught, or more annoying.
    Compared to if we were single, we don't have as much work around the house, our money goes farther, our stress dies out faster, we're happier, and we're more fulfilled.

    Each of us has intuitively and emotionally become part of the other. Whenever either of us is carrying a heavier emotional load, the other one knows it right away, and is there to take some of that load off.

    We support each other in EVERYTHING we do. We don't bullshit each other. We keep each other on the straight-and-narrow. We point out each other's flaws. We challenge the shit out of each other. Everything we do, we do with PASSION.

    The color white makes me wet. The word "wife" almost makes me cum. I wear slutty wedding dresses to bed. He slams his love and commitment into my ever-willing body, heart, and soul, over and over and over again. We lock eyes and say our wedding vows all over again while he's finishing inside me.

    We've got 3 awesome kids who, so far, are growing up to show signs of solid character and respect. They're gna be trouble, if they're anything like their parents... but we're ready for that, and we want that. Don't want pushovers as our kids. And we're gna adopt a couple more, too. We got lots of love, in this family.

    In short...
    Fuck yeah.
    Marriage is awesome.
    And amazingly hot.
    It's better than anything I could have imagined... and it just keeps getting better, too.

    Don't know who I was in a previous life to deserve this, but, she must have been one champion boss bitch.

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    • That was a nice arousing story, haha! Does it never get tiring being with the same person, everyday, all day?

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    • Thank you, I wish you the best too.

      Also check out the opinion I wrote here:
      www.girlsaskguys.com/.../q1976603-there-is-no-point-to-marriage

    • Tx for the MH luv <3

What Guys Said 14

  • In the end the MGTOW will win

    err. . . anyway what the hell is pet play supposed to be? It's a fetish isn't it?

    i0.kym-cdn.com/.../b10.jpg

    it's probably lewd, I don't even want to imagine. . .

    33.media.tumblr.com/.../...02zJfR1sxcftfo1_400.gif

    I think marriage is impossible, from what I've seen it seems like failed relationships are the norm, how is anyone supposed to get through the marriage minefield alive?

    33.media.tumblr.com/.../...02zJfR1sxcftfo1_400.gif

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    • 1) What the hell does "MGTOW" stand for?
      2) Petplay is a sub-category within BDSM, google it before jumping to stupid assumptions and insulting someone for no reason.
      3) Literally all i wanted to hear, from this post, so cheers.

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    • @TheAngryBanana Pure guilty pleasure that will give you type 3 diabetes, I like the sound of it

      so. . . do they eat scots porridge oats?

      images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/.../...VFWAhiL.jpg

      I like that stuff, any porridge in general is heavenly

    • porrige oats man

      dam guys need the complex carbs for the day :D

  • I'm not married, so my opinion may mean nothing. I am however in a committed relationship and marriage is possible down the line. Very possible. I think marriage is only worth the commitment requirements of the couple. If you have different expectations on what commitment means, then the relationship is likely doomed to failure (sorry). In her mind, it seems that marriage is the end result of your commitment to her. If you do not intend to marry her, it is likely she will feel that you are not committed enough to her to continue the relationship. Either way, your ideas of a relationship are as far apart from each other as the children/no children scenario. For both your sakes you should probably end it.

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    • Sorry, but your post confused me. We have identical end results for our relationship, she doesn't want children, nor do I, we both want to travel and settle in the same country, buy a house, own pets. The only difference is that she likes the idea of marriage and i'm simply conflicted about it. Doesn't mean i'm not committed and she is fully aware, my opinion of marriage does not worry her at all. So why should the relationship end when its a good/healthy/strong relationship? Why does marriage have to prove commitment? I think being committed means not cheating, sharing troubles, knowing each other inside out, not sexting other people or making the other person insecure and wanting to have a life together. Why does only marriage make all that commitment valid?

  • First off, pretty shitty' for an adult to tell a kid that garbage. Just because they picked the wrong person to marry doesn't mean you will. People change their opinion about having kids as they get older. So maybe thinking you'll feel the same later isn't realistic.

    If done right marriage is great. At my age, half my friends are getting divorced or alread have. Getting married to young seems to lead to divorce alot'. Rushing into a marriage leads to alot' divorce. etc...

    You shouldn't even be thinking about this till your late 20's the absolute earliest.
    Just wait, you'll meet some amazing married couples and will likely want what they have later in life.

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    • That is a good point, however, my opinion on children has been pretty much the same since i was younger, I do not like children, I don't like the idea of children and I generally don't see myself with a child (Or at least being happy with a child).

      I do realise that the younger people get married, the faster they divorce, which is why my partner was making it clear she would only propose after we have lived together for a few years and travelled a little.

    • The traveling part is a good idea. You learn alot' about a person when under stress. Traveling (backpacking in foreign countries) will do that. I think you're gonna' be ok. good luck

  • Considering marriage is a social construct, it literally means only as much as you want it to mean.

    However, divorce is expensive, lol.

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  • For women in a hetero relationship, yes. There are only benefits and rewards, especially when she decides to pull the plug.

    For men in a hetero relationship, OH HELL NO. There are only risks and responsibilities, and losses when she decides to cash out.

    For homo couples, it depends on which one the court decides is the man. That one is going to get hosed when the divorce happens.

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    • That's the stupidest thing I've ever read, and I've read troll questions.

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    • Someone is going to pay; that will be whoever the court 'decides' is the man. Yes, I know lesbians are women, but the court isn't going to let them both just walk away. Same for gay men.

      California still has lifetime vagimony, and less than 5% of payers are women. Tell me again how 'fair' the System is.

    • And newsflash: cheating on a woman's part means absolutely fuckall to the court. She can do whoever and whatever she wants, she's still getting a payout. Got friends who've been there. Hell, I've been there. Thanks to No-Fault (It's Always the Man's Fault) divorce laws, a lot of the time the court won't even listen to proof of her infidelity. Got friends who've been there, too.

  • yeah marriage is worth it when your marrying a person you know very well and your both mature and love each other

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  • Marriage is never worth it. It's just to show others and your SO you're going to try and commit as much as possible.

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  • the taxation is better.

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  • yes iv been married for 5 years

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  • Yer I really don't want children or a big expensive wedding even if i'm not paying for it I just don't feel right spending money like that even if it's not my money assuming I even wanted to get married which would be contingent on them making more than me or being willing to sign a prenup and keep our accounts separate.
    I'm glad you found someone special though.
    Id say If she really really wants to and you're not both broke then you could go with a pre nup and just don't let her go overboard on it. If circumstances or you both change and 20 years down the line it doesn't work out at least you already agree what happens who gets what. Divorce costs can be stupidly high if there's a dispute.

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  • I was married for about ten years. Now I have been divorced for over ten years. Marriage can be worth it, especially if you want to have a family.

    You should consider having one. I don't have any kids, and believe me, once you get to be my age or even a little older, with your parents both gone and no spouse or kids, even adventures feel empty. I are alone, and there is nothing important in my life.

    You also have to be mature, and by "mature" I mean sufficiently developed as your true self, to the point where you feel your life on track and see your goals ahead -- in the distance, perhaps, but soon within reach.

    Even with that, you will continue growing. Even an old bird like me is still growing. The world doesn't stop changing; every day is new. It will continue to change and influence you.

    You will need to have someone whose company you enjoy, but more importantly, someone who shares the same goals and values in life as you.. You want to grow together, towards the same destination, never apart.

    Sex is great, chemistry is great, but marry your sexiest best friend.

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  • Knowing what I know now, i'd tell people to be very cautious about getting married, and question why, if they're not planning to have kids.

    If you're gonna live together and have kids, you're basically married and it's just about legal details if you split at that point.

    Committing to try to love one another for life is very nice and romantic.

    But marriage... as a -legal- entity, is basically a document saying who gets what money if you split up. Nothing else you imagine about your relationship is really binding.

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  • He brings home enough bacon to provide his woman the kind of lifestyle that gives her validation and comfort, as well as providing for their offspring. Keeping himself in optimal physical condition assures his woman of good, masculine genes making her willing to bear as many of his children as he wishes.

    The fabled Alpha Provider is the captain of his ship and has the genuine respect and adoration of both his woman and his children. He does not tolerate foolishness in his household and is quick to punish such shenanigans. But he is equally bountiful whereas he rewards his woman for the nurturing of his brood, her sexual loyalty, and the upkeep of his domicile and property. Though it took him quite a while, his patience and red pill wisdom allowed him to successfully find a woman worthy to be his first mate.

    A man such as this is the object of every female’s desire and they seldom hide it, often openly flirting with him even in the presence of his woman. This is precisely what keeps her motivated to stay fit and feminine while keeping him sexually satiated and his domain in pristine condition.

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What Girls Said 4

  • Only the two people getting married can really decide if it's "worth it" for them. I would encourage you right now to keep an open mind about it, because you might meet someone (or maybe you already have with your current girl) that will convince you that you do want to commit to them in that way. Other peoples failures dont define you or your future. If you and your partner try and make it work, it doesn't matter how many people you know that got divorced, yours will stay intact.

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  • If you find the right person, and you are willing to be flexible and grow and change with them, then yes. It's SO worth it. The best advice I have received so far was this: put effort into making your partner happy. This comes naturally to people who love each other, but make it a habit. The little things mean a lot. But most importantly, always remember that YOU are responsible for your own happiness. Never expect or rely on your partner to make and keep you happy.

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  • marriage is baloney. I myself don't want to get married. Pretty much a waste of time in my opinion..

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  • yes it is! everything in life takes work and maintenance. Is having kids worth it? no woman regrets having her child.. despite what kids put u through
    ur letting feminism tell you marriage is not worth it! basically ur sayin gu dont want a man to commit to you.. do u want a man using u? i mean, little boy! cuz real men commit

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    • I mean.. I know plenty of women who regret having children, doesn't help that i hate children. And feminism has nothing to do with this, you don't need to be married to show commitment. My girlfriend and I, are not married (obviously) yet, we are committed, very honest and all that happy jazz.

    • I doubt that is entirely 100% true in regards to "no woman regrets having her child despite what kids put them through", I'm sure that's different if somebody's kid or kids turned out to become something horrible like a criminal or something and had committed unspeakable and horrible things and is finally caught. When they finally faced the truth that it was their kid or kids that turned out to be that way and were the ones that had did those horrible things I wouldn't doubt that they would regret ever having kids.

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