How do I approach a girl/her parents? on a matrimonial site who tried to connect with me 3 months back?

So I was registered on this matrimonial site as a free member just to check out the site and possibly meet new people. Soon enough some people tried to connect and since I was a free member the site wouldn't allow me to communicate with these people other than simply "expressing interest" to connect. Anyways, I liked a girl's profile who tried connecting, didn't bother much about it because it was just a casual thing and even her profile was on a free membership plan (which means you can only express interest and accept interest without sharing any communication details) and then recently I really got serious about finding a partner and got into this paid site and found that same girl again. This time though I noticed that the profile is managed by her parents. I checked back on the previous site and realized that on the other site too her profile was managed by her parents. I dont know how to approach this situation. I'm serious about looking for a partner but when parents get involved situation in my experience gets a bit dicey because of the pressure to take a decision on both parties. Also maybe its only the parents who liked my profile.. who knows such things? :P I'd still like to try my luck and go about this in the best possible way. Any suggestions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Just send the first message, be polite to impress the parents obviously. After they reply, send your own reply but also bring this up. Just tell them you are very serious about settling down now and want to find a good wife. Tell them family is important to you, since both sides will now be related, but since you will eventually be living alone with your wife and possibly future children you also need to see how you get along together without outside input. You would like to meet their daughter as from her profile it sounds like she is a wonderful person who they have done a great job raising, and would like to take her out for dinner if they don't mind.

    See if they will agree that way. Then you can start taking her out and getting to know her without the parents hanging around making it awkward and you can both be yourself more.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks, this was somewhat helpful, I'll use those ideas when i draft my message to the parents.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think in most matrimonial sites, profiles are managed by parents only it's unfortunate but true. Even I don't understand the reason, the logic behind that.

    It is strange though. I am not sure how old this woman is but if she is in her mid 20's and if her parents are still managing her profile, then I would say that is not a good sign.

    I mean she is an adult and her parents managing her profile could mean that they are either overprotective and have some influence on her decision making while choosing partners or it could mean that they are the decision makers and they want you to approach this woman through her.

    In any case it's not a good sign.

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What Girls Said 2

  • I think you need to ask yourself why a perfectly good woman needs her parents to put her on one of these sites... stay clear...

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    • 3mo

      Sadly, thats the norm in this part of the world.

    • 3mo

      ok... Well in that case what is the problem? Just ask and say you hope all of three of them like your profile :) Take it slow and easy and let them warm to you

  • If you have the girl's email address then email her and ask whether she is still looking. I wouldn't expect too much, though. Beautiful girls don't just mope around waiting for a boy so stupid that he broke off contact with her.

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    • 3mo

      I think I didn't explain properly, I got a request to connect, I accepted, but both profiles being "free" there is no way to actually communicate between the two parties unless at least one of them pays and views other's communication details. Also, as I said, the profile was managed by her parents, so its probably her parents who liked my profile. I dont have the girl's email address even now, its probably her parents that they must have put up.

    • 3mo

      Take out a paid membership but remember that at least 99% of girls' profiles on dating sites are fake.

What Guys Said 1

  • Are you of the same ethnos?

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    • 3mo

      Yes. Probably one of the reasons why the parents liked my profile I guess.

    • 3mo

      Then you must already be at least somewhat familiar with the process in your country. I understand that you are probably more progressive, and want the girl's input, but there must surely be a socially appropriate way to get some insight into how she feels about the match as things progress.

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