Does Marriage Still Have A Place In The Modern World?

Does Marriage Still Have A Place In The Modern World?
It seems more and more people these days are opting for the single life. As a kid I remember thinking that the natural state of things was getting married as soon as you were old enough. You can still live with someone without being hitched and a lot of people seem to prefer that. But nowadays with increases in both strongly independent single parents and sexual freedoms in the way we think and what we do, what's the point.

  • Yes
    93% (81)54% (36)76% (117)Vote
  • No
    7% (6)46% (31)24% (37)Vote
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Most Helpful Girl

  • The problem is that people have lost the sense of importance of RITUAL.
    "Ritual" probably brings to mind religious images, but, it's more than that, and it's an integral part of the human experience.

    Think about “initiation” ceremonies into secret societies (military societies, fraternities, etc.)
    And cultural rites of passage, and pledges of allegiance, and national anthems, and all those formal shows of patriotism.
    And… wedding ceremonies, and renewals of vows, and so on.

    Think about the kind of bond that’s created by these things.
    When rituals are performed REGULARLY... people will literally go to the ends of the earth for those to whom they’re bonded through these kinds of ceremonies.

    Marriage is one of these rituals -- and, believe me, NO ONE stands up there and says "I do" with the intent of forsaking their partner down the line.
    It's a beautiful thing. There's NOTHING like looking into yr beloved's eyes and declaring yr commitment, in front of the world. It's wonderful, and it's sexy, and it's fucking amazing in every way.

    THE PROBLEM is...
    Most people don't KEEP performing the ritual, REGULARLY, in any way.
    They have one ceremony, and expect it to last the rest of their lives.

    Well... it won't.

    The wedding vows should be like a pledge of allegiance. They should be something you both say to each other, in stolen moments, and in the heat of passion, and in the agony of tragedy.

    When it's the middle of a slow night, and you grab each other's hands for an impromptu dance in the hallway or in a parking lot... "I do."

    When you're making hard and fast and passionate love... "I do."

    When you've lost a friend or a parent, and you're there to comfort each other, and to be a shoulder for each other to cry on... "I do."

    When you look at that ring on yr finger, you should be *overwhelmed*. With everything that it stands for.
    Commitment.
    Love.
    Lust.
    Passion.
    Struggle.
    Sacrifice.
    Growth.
    Ecstasy.
    Purpose.
    Structure.
    Support.
    Challenge.
    Partnership.
    Strength.
    Vulnerability.
    Understanding.
    Building a whole life together.

    That ring on yr hand stands for ALL of those things, loud and clear.

    And, you should tell each other "I do" again EVERY DAY.
    Even when times are hard -- ESPECIALLY when times are hard -- you should "marry" each other all over again... and suddenly the hard times won't be AS hard.
    They'll still be hard, but, "I do" will help you through the worst.

    The ritual should NEVER end.

    And if it doesn't... then, neither will yr marriage.

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    • 3mo

      This ^^ has even more importance NOW than ever before, because so much of the bare economic necessity behind marriage has been stripped away.

      It's not that people VALUED marriage any more in the past... ahahah hell no they didn't. (Just think about the way our grandparents' generation talked about it in private -- and about how much time each sex spent basically in full retreat from the other.)
      But, only recently has it even been POSSIBLE for people to break up marriages, without the danger of starving or going without basic domestic functions of life.

      So... now it's more important than ever before for people to focus on what will REALLY strengthen a marriage. Through both good times and bad.

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    • 3mo

      @redeyemindtricks. I agree with what you said. The "winners" you spoke of are often choosing to not get married. I have spoken to my share of 20 something Men and Women who have chosen to cohabitate instead of getting married. They typically say that they are not getting married because they have seen their family members go through divorce. Legally speaking, cohabitating is a worse plan. Attorneys I have spoken to say that by not being married, you give up all the Legal protections of being married. I live in Florida. This probably varies State-by-State.

    • 2mo

      Tx for the MHLuv <3

What Girls Said 20

  • I still want to get married.
    I know that you can still enjoy almost everything the same, whether you're married or simply a LTR. However, if whoever I wish to marry says he doesn't want to because it's nothing more than some legal documents, that would symbolize to me that he doesn't intend on staying with me till the end.

    One thing I'm sure of is that I don't wish to live my life flying solo. So... if getting married and being a couple for the long-run is basically the same, why not get married?

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  • LOL I didn't know French Guiana had such high divorce rates :O No wonder my grandpa never got married. 😂

    Anyways, I still think it has a place in the modern world, however its not as important as it used to be at all. Nowadays people move in together and have kids together and live like a married couple despite not being married, so in a sense marriage is no longer a necessity, nor are people looked down upon anymore for having sex before marriage, or moving in together, or having kids before marriage.
    There are some legal benefits to getting married, however really not as much as it used to, and probably even less in the future.
    I think marriages will always happen as some people like the ceremony and the whole idea of "taking commitment further". And of course marriage is a big deal for religious people.

    I think its fine without marriage as well. People are no longer forced to live in toxic or loveless relationships, and both would probably happy overall leaving each other when it gets that very bad. I don't quite know what the consequences to kids might be though, having parents splitting up all the time. However, if its easier to leave a relationship then perhaps the arguing may go on for an even shorter time than it would've (when having to go through divorce and all), but might leave the kid even more confused than ever. But on the other hand it may leave your parents on a slight better term due to not having to go through divorce courts which tends to just make things even more tense. Kind of have to pick a poison huh.

    Im still unsure whether to get married or not, I do know my parents (of 22 years marriage) certainly want me to get married...

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  • There is no point if YOU don't believe in marriage, but for many others its very much a sacred thing ordained by their church and God and shepherded by family and friends, and still for others, they know and feel in their hearts that it is the strength of their love that should be solidified through marriage. I think instead of this never ending war about whether we should or shouldn't have marriage, let those happy few who are single and proud, do that, and those happy few who are married and proud do that. Just be glad you have choices these days.

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    • 3mo

      For anyone who wants children, marriage is the best environment to raise children. Anything less hurts children.

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    • 3mo

      @MagiAlphaOne Within a marriage, is still only one way in which to raise happy healthy and productive children. One's parents do not have to be married for a good outcome especially seeing as how in today's times, a mere half of our parents are actually married. Do I believe in marriage, yes, I've said as much, but do I believe that additionally children in households where parents merely live together or single parent household's can't do just as good of a job, yes, absolutely. A lot of people put too much emphasis on marriage solving the world's problems. Even in the times where marriage was much more common, a lot of it was facade and circumstance, not actual happy and fulfilling marriages, but I'm guessing "ooooo no, there's no debating with you on this one," so I'll just let you have your opinion, and I'll have mine, thanks.

    • 3mo

      *do just as good of a job

  • In my country it's still one heck of big deal. The wedding itself lats a week so you get the picture lol.

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  • Marriage still has a place in the modern world. It's people's negative perspective on marriage and approach to non committal relationships and casual sex that is the issue. Shows we have a decline in morality.

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  • Do you think people are staying single more or becoming live in partners more?
    Of course marriage has a place in the modern world. It happens all the time. Many people still want to get married. Heck, many people who have never been married always wanted to.

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  • yes it still has its place and the map above is scary :o
    the reason i think most marriage fail is because some people are selfish and take their SO for granted... and think that sleeping around is "right"

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  • I believe in the holy matrimony/marriage and think of it as something sacred... but its rare in my town.. people always sleep around and dont wait till marriage its fustrating.. cause im waiting till marriage and want to get married but no guy wants to wait

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  • It has a place, it's important for those that feel a legal contract enhances their relationship and makes it stronger. There's just a lot of people who don't believe that anymore, myself included. So for those people marriage holds little importance, but that doesn't mean it has no place. I have no need for children but if everyone thought that way we wouldn't survive as a species.

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  • I think women in the past were prisoners not just by how their gender dictated their role in society but also by our biology. Thanks to labour saving devices, womens lib and modern medicine we are free to pursue our own paths and no longer forced to stay at home to look after our kids and home.

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    • 3mo

      I think modern people maybe wait too long to get married like at thirty. I know many couples who spent their twenties slaving away trying to earn and save for an all singing all dancing wedding without a thought given to the actual marriage so that two years later they have a kid, a mountain of debt, hate each others guts and are filing for divorce.

  • Yes, I think it will always have a place in society. There will always be people that want that type of relationship and that commitment. There are just as many reasons to get married as there is to stay single. It is just a matter of choosing which lifestyle is right for you.

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  • Institution of marriage will never come to an end. It saves us from many problems.

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  • Not for me any guy think marriage is not important is a deal breaker for me and for most women. Such a crap lifestyle only cheap will accept it who think they are easy to get so they will be easy to be dumped

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    • 3mo

      i sincerely hope you can hold on to that way of thinking.

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    • 3mo

      agreed. one girl i met who's been with with her boyfriend-she that he might be cheating-which in this case, he'd be doing her a favor... the relationship ain't going any further. another girl that i know personally has been with a controlling guy who's cheated and abused her for 4 years... he has money and all he gave was promise ring. a promise ring is meaningful if money's tight or you're simply too young to get married... in her situation, however, it's more of a noose.

    • 3mo

      The fact that you dream about marriage doesn't mean that someone who doesn't believe in marriage will "never find love". I know plenty of women who don't see a point in marriage either. Keep thinking that you're the only woman on earth.

  • Everyone I know wants to get married someday. Having sexual freedom and being empowered doesn't mean you dont want to get married

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  • Nowadays one sees no point in marriage when you get what you are supposed to receive out of marriage without it. In my opinion marriage is a comforting saying of a long lasting relationship. Even though fifty percent of marriages end in divorce so do relationships that don't end or lead to marriage. It's all about what you feel about not having a ring and papers identifying as ones spouse or keeping it open. By open I mean that marriage and validation by authorities aren't included. I honestly prefer marriage as I will feel no different than other girls that whomever I will be with has been with. I also, like other girls too would rather not have sex before marriage which is now normal to do.

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  • Sure for people who want to get married.

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  • those statistics are disheartening lol but yeah, i still believe in marriage. And I don't believe in divorce.

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  • I personally have never thought marriage was a viable or realistic or achievable concept.

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  • I think that it depends on the person, on her surrounding and bringing up.

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What Guys Said 29

  • Personally I dont know enough about other countries or the conditions of their cultures and how they have been affected by digital social interaction or widespread drug abuse. I can only judge the current conditions here in Kentucky USA.
    In the early 90s prior to the internet explosion, divorce rates were at around an estimated 40%. They were climbing even then but slowly. We had drug use at that time also. Primarily cannabis, pills, cocaine, heroin, and crystal meth.
    Fast forward 10 years to the turn of the millennia. Divorce rates had climbed to almost 65+%. The drug pandemic was beginning to take off. We still had all the goodies from before, but now new drug had hit US. Meth was becoming much more prolific as cooks realized they could use ephedra and pseudo to make it cheap and damn near anywhere. Sites such as MySpace and AdultFriendFinder, among others, were managing to pull the public from chat programs such as Pirch and Mirc. It became near childsplay to setup an evening with nearly anyone that was online. I know because this is exactly the behavior and routine I fell into around 1999.
    The next ten years have pushed us up to divorce rates of approx 80% or more.
    The social prowess of Facebook had been born. Facebook made it simple to socially network with all of your family and friends. It also allowed us to reconnect with all of those boys and gals from high school and beyond that had slipped out of touch for one reason or another. This allowed old and new flames to reconnect and get physical on an even larger scale. On the drug scene we had seen the banning of ephedra and aggressive control of pseudoephedrinie in an attempt to stem the tide of Meth that the USA was drowning in to very little effect. The birth of two new deadly drugs had hit the scene also during this decade, both of which were legal. Synthetic Weed and Bath Salts, which we learned very quickly were more horrific. The tide broke against the nation from the view of a security camera video that went viral overnight. We all watched as a naked man chewed the face off of a homeless man, having to be gunned down during his psychotic haze. Though none of this has had an affect on addiction rates and illegal drug use.
    Depending on who you ask, current divorce rates are estimated somewhere around 50-90%, currently it seems these estimates cannot be made more accurate due to remarriages happening as quickly as divorces are completed.

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  • For those who still see the inherent value, yes. Otherwise the rest of society can continue to dig its own inevitable grave. The traditional family unit is the nucleus of society and once it goes, civilization as we know it collapses. Likening marriage to merely living together is like likening a steak to a cheeseburger. They are not the same thing, no matter how "serious" the relationship may be. Our society has become satisfied with a subpar cheeseburger unaware of the fact that a big juicy steak is still within our grasp. Some of us still want that steak.

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  • I don't like that your financial burdens become theirs, that's stupid. Another thing? What if she one day decides she doesn't want to be married; 5, 10, 20 years down the line? BOOM. Alimony. Because I've made more than any woman I've dated so far.

    Would it be fair for ME to support HER after SHE decides to end the marriage for whatever reason? That's b. s. YOU don't want to stay with me? Fine, by all means, if YOU'RE not happy, then we can either work to fix the issue (s) or end it but, I'm NOT going to support your ass financially if you leave.

    Me staying by your side through thick and thin means more to me than a stupid piece of paper that tells you I will BUT will also allow you to take half of my hard earned shit, if you so choose, at any given time. I could lawyer up and possibly win, sure, but... why even take it there?

    I will gladly be that romantic partner, take her away, tell her how much I love her daily and do anniversary get always to remind her just how special she is to me, but the stupid legal repercussions that are typically (not anyways, I know) inflicted upon the men in marriage, are insanely fucked up, in my opinion.

    I know SEVERAL (older and younger) couples that have been together decades and they don't NEED the state to authenticate their love and relationship. Most I know, fight MUCH less than the married couples I know! It just seems like an unnecessary and potentially VERY expensive headache.

    IF I were to do it... it'd be small, in front of a judge for cheap, instead of spending like $10k for a party and a dress you'll only wear once. I'd rather, marry cheap and spend the money on the ultimate honeymoon than the other way around. An extended honeymoon, that sounds fun...

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  • For now, no. Dumb Westerners are more concerned with money and pleasure seeking than anything else. That's why they're getting outbred by more traditional cultures (Muslims especially) who value marriage and children highly, and that's why eventually the West will become more like the Middle-East.

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  • i think its in a man best interest to not get married however its in a womens best interest to get married. since im a man i only care about what in my best interest.

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  • It certainly does. I fully believe there are many socio-economic benefits to getting married.

    That being said, I personally don't think such benefits are worth the risks of marriage. I personally choose to remain unmarried for life.

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  • Of course 92% of women would say yes.

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  • It's all based on you. If you want to get married then do it. If not then don't. Fuck statistics and what everyone is saying. I don't believe it one bit. I still want to get married. If you let bad statistics and people's opinions scare you away from marriage then maybe you're not meant for one. No one has to get married. Marriage is a life decision. To me the only reason marriage looks bad right now is simply because we live in a time where cheating is praised and being faithful and loyal is wrong.

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  • This is a really interesting question. I think that there aren't the benefits in marriage for either sex that there used to. For example females on average now can make their own money just as easily as men and don't need them for financial support. Most women nowdays have that attitude of your a grown man clean your own shit. And it's easy for both sexes to get laid outside of relationships and being single parents is starting to become the norm. And with the divorce rate being over 50% does a marriage commitment really mean anything anyways? So I'm going to say marriage is slowly becoming less and less important in modern society.

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  • In my country it's still a big deal... And maximum people get married... Lol
    In western countries well maybe it's different

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  • WRONG DATA.

    In China only 2.2% of marriages end in divorce. In India it's just over 1%. The divorce rate is 39% in western/feminist dominated Beijing though.

    Once the west falls in terms of power, and we (men) collectively realize what a big mistake feminism was... The patriarchy will return

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    • 3mo

      Modern/FEMINIST marriage is bullshit and needs to stop ASAP.

    • 3mo

      Of course, the patriarchy shouldn't happen just like feminism shouldn't... the genders should be equal...

      Marriage is a patriarchal arrangement and it needs to go.

  • Of course it does, always will.

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  • Sure, those words "in good and bad times" simply mean a lot! :D

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  • "Strongly independent single parents", LOL! You mean people who depend on the state for money, tax breaks, lunchs for their kids, and then still depend on their own parents for help. That is not independent, that is the opposite, dependent.

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  • Yes, it does. That doesn't mean everyone should get married, because they shouldn't. Only certain people should.

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  • Marrage should be reworked to have pre nups built in. It's no wonder 94% of women said yeah, they end up taking everything in the case of divorce most of the time.

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  • I fully believe so

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  • As Gene Simmons once said: My advice to women is to get married and divorced as many times as possible because you'll always walk away with half his stuff. My advice to men is to never get married.

    Seriously in today's society, with our current legal system, getting married for a man is equivalent to putting a noose around your neck while standing on a chair, and hoping that your wife never has the incentive to kick the chair from under you.

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  • It's 2016! Marriage is not important anymore but only optional.
    Whoever want's to get married can get married. Whoever doesn't want to, it's perfectly fine too.

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  • It's place is in anthropology textbooks, right alongside other dead traditions.

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  • What do you think is better for children
    Single parent or both parents

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  • I'm inclined to vote no. Marriage is a relic of the past. You can be happily married, sure, but you would be just as happy in a relationship without the "married" status.

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    • 3mo

      I would love a long-term relationship, don't get me wrong — I just don't think that getting married is a step anyone needs to take.

  • I always saw it as more of a thing for religious thing as religious people did come up with it.

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  • Sure just look outside USA. 😁

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  • yeah man of course. otherwise all these divorce lawyers are gonna lose their job.

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  • it is. ''dependent single parents and sexual freedoms'' have their cost.

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  • yes, it does.

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  • Yes Indeed

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