My wife wants to go on vacation with her guy friend?

So my wife wants to go on a trip to Europe with her male friend. They've been friends for years (longer than I've known her). They call each other "BFF" and "big sis" and "little bro." But part of me is convinced that he's in love with her. He treats me with contempt and minimizes me in her eyes. He is ALWAYS around, and it seems that we can't do anything without her wanting to invite him along.
I've tried hard to respect her other friendships with people and not be controlling. But this guy bugs me. It's almost as if he's competing for her and has stepped up his efforts to remain the #1 guy in her life, as my wife and I have grown closer. Every time we do something, or goes on a trip with her friends, he goes too.
They BOTH insist that there is no romantic about it at all. But that it's like a big sister-little brother relationship. Now my wife wants to go to Europe with him. The thing that makes me so mad is that I have told my wife I would love to take a trip with her and she dismisses it as something she's not interested in. Now she's booked two tickets to London with him in December. I'm at a loss and very angry. I have expressed my frustrations to my her and she just tells me there's nothing wrong with it because it's like taking a trip with a brother. I just don't understand this, and part of me just wants to tell her to just divorce me and marry him. I love her so much, but it seems like she's more interested in spending time with her "best friend forever" than around me. What do I do? Should I leave her?
It should be noted that I have tried to talk to her about it. She just shuts me down and says "I'm being ridiculous, that this is "their thing" and I should just get over it". I've also talked to the "best friend" and he says that I should just BACK OFF, that I don't understand what they have and how special it is. Yet, neither of them wants to be romantically involved (supposedly) Am I wrong for being mad and feeling like my feelings are being trampled on?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • I would do as he says and back off. Back off completely! Tell her to stay with him in Europe and not come back. I think you are flogging a dead horse, so should bail out now.

    Go find another lady. One that appreciates you!

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What Girls Said 3

  • Uhhhhh... lets just lay it all out there... your wife is completely 100% out of line. Especially with you telling her that your obviously uncomfortable with her arrangement. Her response is "it's our thing, get over it"? So disrespectful and out of line.

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    • 3mo

      Thanks I agree. Somebody else said that I was just being jealous. Lol

    • 3mo

      No, she is just being ridiculous.

  • you're right to feel this way >:( ... sorry but there's something fishy about that "relationship" they have with each other... be careful

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  • I wouldn't trust it if it was my boyfriend

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What Guys Said 3

  • I feel like I've read this exact question before. lol

    Listen: if you really believe in your heart that you're a reasonable, respectful dude, and that this 'friend' is up to something, then it might be time to insist on some changes. I mean, we're all supposed to have friends outside of our relationships, but I can't help thinking 'WTF?' when I read something like this: "It's almost as if he's competing for her and has stepped up his efforts to remain the #1 guy in her life, as my wife and I have grown closer. Every time we do something, or goes on a trip with her friends, he goes too."

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  • Did she or he invited you?

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    • 3mo

      No neither

    • 3mo

      Did you ask to go also? What did she reply?

    • 3mo

      There was no point in asking her to come along. Don't forget that I had already said in my story that I had already asked to take her on a vacation to Europe and she was never interested in it. But as soon as her male friend asked her, she jumped all over the idea.

  • I think you're scared they migh cheat on you

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