My wife had a six year affair?

The guy was supposed to be my "best friend". For five or six years they had an affair (even in my own bed and my son's bed). I never caught them, she finally told me about it and said she loved me and would never do it again and will never see or talk to this man again, should I forgive her, and how can I ever get my trust back, and get this knife I feel is sticking in my back out? how long before the pain goes away, because I don't even want to live anymore, it hurts so bad. The guy's got an a** kicking when I see him, but should I trust her again?

Updates:
3mo The only problem is is the Court system ALWAYS takes the woman's side... SMH

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No that's a betrayal that deserves no second chance. Take your son and leave

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What Girls Said 4

  • Trust her? Nope.

    This wasn't a momentary lapse in judgment... it was an ongoing and intentional violation of your trust and mutual commitment, made even worse by the fact that it was with your friend.

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    • 3mo

      I hope the judge sympathetic towards me. The only problem is that the court system sides with the woman...

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    • 3mo

      @feminismisnarcissism EXACTLY!!!

    • 3mo

      @feminismisnarcissism

      You go right ahead and believe that... Doesn't bother me any.

  • As far as I can see here, dear, Both Parties can No longer be Trusted... Six years is a Long time, I am Shocked you didn't See any Sure Signs for yourself.
    You may Forgive in Time, but never Forget what 'Knife I feel is sticking in my back.' It never Really Goes away on any Given Day, for it was Not just your Wife of your Life, but a Bestie who you thought was a Friend to the End. Maybe they Both Deserve one Another.
    The ball is Now in your own Court. If you Feel she is Worth Working a Marriage for, then don't Shut the Door. Give it some thought.
    As far as your Bud goes, Drop that "Friendship" like a Hot potato. He is Not Worth his Weight in Gold, he turned Out to be Real Bold Behind your Back.
    You may think the 'Court system ALWAYS takes the woman's side,' but if you have a Good lawyer, maybe she Will get Hers in the end, where She will Not get Much of your Money, honey, so you Can get Back some of those '6 years' of your Life. Hmmm...
    Good luck. xx

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  • Record her voice try to find prove talk to a lawyer. True Love can't deal with cheaters and slutts

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  • Typically, when people get caught cheating, more often than not they immediately make a promise to not do it again. Cheating, however, is not the easiest behavior to control. Promises alone do not prevent future acts of cheating. People cheat for a variety of reasons. People are sometimes aware of the reasons why they have cheated, but more often than not the true reasons remain hidden. The best way to deal with the discovery of infidelity is through some form of counseling. Dealing with infidelity is very difficult to do without professional help. Good luck!

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What Guys Said 11

  • 6 fucking years? Fuck them both. They must have done it hundreds of times in 6 years. I'd throw her out on her ass, I think the judge will let you keep your shit too, what with the 6 year affair

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    • 3mo

      Hate to say it but the Judges always sides with the wife no matter WHAT.

  • And it's funny because I just gave two examples of my friends being bummed by marriage on some GaG question asking whether guys will marry =P

    Here's another example why marriage is not worth it!

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  • Im sorry. Reading that made my chest hurt. So sorry.

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    • 3mo

      Forgot to finish, get rid of her man. If you forgive her it will always be there in the back of your mind and you will never fully trust her again anyways. No relationship can work like that.

  • 6 years? sure take her back but INSIST on a prenup be ADDED to the marriage, she owes you that much at the least to regain your trust... if she won't sign a post-prenup, then she's not even sorry.

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  • Six years! Are you kidding? Lawyer up. Have the kids tested, and leave when everything is IN PLACE for YOU.

    I'm a forgiving guy. I would forgive a drunken one night stand or a short affair MAYBE but 6 years?

    by the way, guilt her into a FFM thresome before you leave, and bang that girl like your life depended on it.

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    • 3mo

      I'm not sure what good a lawyer will do. Women get away with MURDER when it comes to divorce court these days.

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    • 3mo

      Oh ok Let's hope I have plenty

    • 3mo

      In the meantime keep your mouth shut. Start hiding money. If you can start looking for under the counter jobs, then do so. Keep your resentment hidden too. Bide your time.

  • Time to clear out the joint bank account andstart a new life 500 miles away in a different state.

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  • I dunno man, sounds like you should just break it off from what I'm reading here.

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  • Take K-Camp's advice on this one and cut that bitch off

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  • leave her

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  • Dump her my friend and move on, you worth much more than this, Six fking years?

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  • I had the same thing for around 7. except it was me fooling around. needless too say we got it sorted and are carrying on.

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    • 3mo

      Sorted?

    • 3mo

      yes we spoke it out, went for help and she forgave me. carrying on now.

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