My fiance and I have been together for 9 years. He proposed to me a couple years ago and are wedding is set for October, this year. I knew he shown excitement when planning and before, also it was no problem for us to discuss what we want in the wedding. Just a couple days ago, I could tell he was distant so I approached him and asked if anything was bothering him. After what seemed like an hour of talking, he said that he don't want to get married. He said that we don't have to have marriage to make this work and he never wanted it with me. I reassured him and told him that, "you are right we don't need a marriage to make this work because it already is working." He claims that marriage will ruin everything. Which to me, that's a mindset. Marriage doesn't fix things or ruin things. He says he feels that way because of our parents divorcing. I just can't wrap my brain around this, that this was a lie for 2 years now. If you love someone why would you lead them on, knowing you never wanted this? He wants to basically move backwards in the relationship. There was never any pressure in the engagement or wedding and honestly we are truly happy.
Does my fiance have cold feet or am I just hoping it is?
What Guys Said 2
Maybe you never put any pressure on him but if he's honest he definetively put pressure on himself and doesn't want to lose you. It seems like cold feet, but you gotta find a way to reassure him. Fear of screwing up frequently ends engagements. Dont let that happen and please, do keep an eye for weird behavior. Update us if necessary0
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What Girls Said 1
Its completely up to you now!
He proposed and now is backing out two years later but it still is on your terms because you have been together for so long.
Yes, marriage isn't necessary but it doesn't break a relationship. Its a ceremony for love and commitment if you desire to have it.
If you desire being a wife - not just a girlfriend - then please say so!
he shouldn't trap you in a situation you don't want to be in. You have the freedom to find someone new if this gives you insecurities.
It really depends if you are sure you are right for each other.
People ruin relationships. Not marriage.
There are plenty of legal reasons to get married also.0
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