There are people who expect to come to my wedding that I do not want to invite. What do I do?

I want to keep my wedding small and fun and there are people that i don't want at my wedding. There is this girl who gets jealous. I used to party and drink with her and deal with her drama. But like we had gone through a lot together its true. But i feel like she is still the girl i met in my clubbing years. She's just this dumb whore i can't get rid off. It's annoying because we have too many mutual friends. She had this look on her face when she heard that i am getting married. She was like what? (Kinda rolled her eyes) and she took a deep breath and faked a smile and said she's happy for me. Not the usual expression when someone really is happy for you because it would be obvious. Anyway and then she was like oh i'm gonna throw you the biggest bachelorette party! Like she already thought i was going to invite her. I really don't want to because she radiates bad energy and talks shit behind me whenever a guy compliments me (yes she's that type of "friend") what do i do?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • She's obviously NOT a friend. She's a user who tried to bank off of your popularity to make herself look better. Taking yourself off the market means two things for her: She's lost her wingman, and you've won the game by landing husband material. She jealous and she can't use you the way she used to.

    It's YOU'RE special day, and you should not have to stress over it. Pick only the guests you want to invite, then just focus on looking calm and gorgeous, even though you'll feel a screaming toddler covered in strained peas on the inside LOL
    Getting married is not what everyone makes it out to be, and yet it's so much more! It's the start of a brand new chapter in life, so in all honestly, this is the best time to weed the garden. Cut out those bad vibe Kilgnons from Planet Past.

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    • 3mo

      *your special day... damn phone

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    • 2mo

      yeah the thing is she would keep coming back by texting or showing up at my work place. I tried to block her on facebook then my stupid finger clicked on send friend request after i deleted her (you have to delete first in order to block). But it was too late because it had popped up on her phone i guess. So awkward that i had to be like sorry i deleted you by accident when i was reading stuff. the hardest thing is everytime I make up my mind she would text and say things like "I really miss you we never hangout anymore. I saw this dress that would fit you so i bought it." like even I know she is trouble but she makes it hard for me to be cold to her. She loves me but at the same time is jealous of me. it is her personality. She gets jealous of anyone who is doing better than her. And for some reason she is like a drama magnet. The past four years I don't know how many times i have heard her talking about wanting to beat up some chick or some chick trying to beat her up.

    • 2mo

      And i really do wish i could change her and tried. But I'm tired of guiding her and telling her who is the right guy to date. she just keeps going for those young boys who don't give two shits about her and I need to be around people that can take me to a better level.

What Guys Said 9

  • This is probably the most important moment of your life - I think you can afford to bluntly say "no, fuck off" to whomever you don't want to come.

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  • Misery loves company and your friend is obviously miserable. It sounds to me that you've out grown her, are moving onto bigger, better things and want start making some better life decisions. The best thing you can do is just move on and let those kind of people be. If you don't want her at your wedding then don't invite her.

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  • You know what you need to do. The question is whether you have the energy and determination to make it happen. Either exclude her from your life or make the best of the situation.

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  • just tell her straight that your not invited sorry, its a small wedding

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    • 3mo

      That is rude i can't do that!!! She's a little violent too

    • 3mo

      what are you afraid of? she's gonna hit you? then go with your man or someone who can protect you, and then tell her, or you can tell her over social media or on text

  • Not invite her. The wedding is yours. If they can't realize that, then "tough noggies". And yes, I was at my brothers wedding over the summer with family drama that you couldn't even fathom (I'm talking generations here).

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  • Get rid of her. You don't need "friends" like that. It's hard but learning when and how to let go is such an important thing that a lot of people never learn how to do

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  • Don't invite them. If they aren't important enough to ask to come, then they'll get the message

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  • Dont invite her, thats ok, bc she does not wanna come either

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  • Be nice, is what you can do

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What Girls Said 14

  • Be strong.
    Explain your reasons for the type of wedding you want to have.
    Tell her flat out that she is not invited. Don't expand on any reasons until she asks. Then tell her its for very close F&F only. If she keeps going on about it just tell her that you have made your decision and that it is final.
    Just be firm and strong about the whole thing.
    If you already know she disses you behind your back then don't worry about her reaction too much.
    Stick to your guns and she will eventually get the message.
    Tell her thanks but not thanks for the bachelorette party as your very close F&F have plans (even if they haven't). Do not invite her to any pre-wedding or post-wedding scenarios either.

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  • That's an easy one.
    Jusy politely tell them u want something small and intimate so ur guest list is very small... jusy remind them its nothing against them, it's just something that u ans ur man decided on...

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  • Just don't invite her. Simple as that. It's your big night, and don't forget how expensive it is going to be. You don't want to be wasting your money on someone you don't like. Plus it could be a mood killer the actual night of the wedding.

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  • Lol I have many relatives but if I ever had a wedding I wouldn't like to see most of them there. Don't invite them. Do what you want

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  • Send them a gift registration card to macys and Nordstrom

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  • just be straightforward and tell her you won't invite her

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  • If you don't invite them they would act cold toward you. I think it's better to invite her anyway you ll see / talk to her only some second so. Better to avoid problem who can happened

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  • She is not your friend if you think she is a dumb whore. Why are you concerned about her? You do not even like her

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  • Its your wedding your rules. PERIOD!

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  • Don't invite them.

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  • Just be blunt, its your day and you deserve to spend it with the people that you love surrounded by positive energy and good people. I know it isn't easy but tell her to piss off! I feel like she will try to steal the attention and you should be the centre of attention! Congrats by the way and I wish you every happiness! :)

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  • The answer is plain and simple. It is your wedding "well Brenda I'm sorry but our relationship has been too dysfunctional for me to feel comfortable inviting you. You probably don't understand and that's okay but I'm starting a different life and I want to keep it that way."

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  • Don't invite her. It's your day. If anything, just tell her it's going to be super small with only a few family members but you'd love to party with her before or after.

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  • Make it known that you intend to have a small family and close friends only wedding.

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