What are your opinions on young marriages?

In young I mean between 18 and like 23


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Most Helpful Guy

  • it is like anything else, if your commited enough, you can make it work. unfortunately, in this world we live in, kids see that it is easier to get a divorce then fight for your marriage like you should. Marriage is not easy. There is a lot of compromise. But it is worth it if you have the right person.
    I met my ex on jan 10, 1989, went into the Air Force Feb 14, 1989, came home May 27 and proposed (3 day memorial day weekend). I was 20, she was 17.
    But due to a number of things it ended up being 4 years before we actually got married in 1993. We were together 25 years and 4 days. We have 3 amazing boys. Unfortunately, her family is small and about 85% divorced. My family is very very big (through 3rd cousins) and I can count on 2 hands how many people are divorced out of a couple hundred. I was taught if you can fall in love, you can fix it and make it work. Only 1 family member that is in my parents generation is divorced. The divorce was her idea.
    but I know 2 people that I went to school with. They dated back in elementary school. Sure they broke up a few times along the way but always ended up togther. By graduation from HS, they already had 1 child and another on the way. They are still together and doing well.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • My opinion is really good of young marriage, we just got married a year ago I wouldn't change it for anything in the world. We already decided we were getting married sooner or later, we chose sooner! We've been best friends since childhood. Met when he was six and I was five. He is the first guy I ever loved, I'm his first girl that he's loved, we're committed to be our last and only. We have no secrets, no past ugly relationships or breakups. We are realistic in our relationship, were viewing things exactly as they are. I've been in love with him since I was 14 or 15 it's only increased with time, his story parallels mine.

    Both of our parents were married before they got out of college, they're still together so we have very positive role models to follow in their footsteps. Our parents have been and are very supportive of our relationship and marriage. We are both well aware that marriage in general isn't easy all the time, were willing to each put our 100% into the success of our marriage because neither of us wants to grow old with anyone else in the whole world.

    As a young couple who want to marry you owe it to your future spouse to seek the best pre-marital counseling that you can. We chose a faith based counselor, one whom actually was very open and very frank with us. One thing he stressed during each time we met was if we were going to break up that it would be better if we broke up before we were married, not after. No shame, no hurt feelings, no regrets. We are totally happy that we were challenged as far as we were, it opened our eyes to many aspects of our relationship neither of us ever considered before that.

    Marry him because you can't see yourself together loving anyone else forever. Marry for love, commit yourself to loving him with all your heart.

    Answer the hard questions yourself, then together. Will you support him emotionally when he loses his job? When he fails? What if he is stricken with some horrible disease, will you stand by him? Will you stick with him if something happened and he could never work again? What if someone "better" comes along in five years, will you stand by your husband? Can you stay married and be happy? What if he gets old, fat and bald will you still be there? Now start thinking of the scenarios, the worse the better, will you still be there?

    When you understand that marriage isn't always easy that it takes a lot of hard work and comittment, then you are ready to begin talking about it.

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    • 2mo

      I really love your life story it's so perfect :) so cute that you guys have been together for awhile and you're parallel (: I just can't wait till I can be like that :)

What Guys Said 65

  • My parents married out of high school right when my mother turned 18 and they are still married today, something like 20 years later. On the other hand, all of the older people I know who waited until they were older to get married seem to be divorcing en masse right about now. The meaning? There is no real uniform answer. It depends entirely upon the couple and how dedicated they are.

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  • I'm generally against it because at that age for most people they're not financially secure enough for it and aren't mature enough for that kind of responsibility nor are they ready for it.

    But if your financially secure, have a secure and good job and mature enough for and ready and know the responsibility of a marriage go for it.

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  • Uh well it really depends on the couple. One of my aunts was 15 when my uncle married her (he was 20) and now they're both in their late 50s and were never divorced. They are one the happiest couples I've ever seen, but this is just an anectodal example. I haven't known too many young couples.

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  • There are a lot of factors to consider with a young marriage.
    Do one or both of you plan to or continue a higher education?
    At what point in the marriage are children considered?
    If you are already living together independent of parental support, can at least one of you financially keep the both of you under the same roof?
    Is each of you certain beyond any doubt that this partner is "the one"
    These are not easy questions to answer but marriage is not easy either as you will learn over time.

    Just my opinion

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    • 2mo

      We both are working towards what we want to do in life and for the most part have things planned out. We don't want kids but we would consider it if we both have a lot of money because kids are a lot of time commitment and money. We both don't really want them anyways.
      Yes.
      Yes we are both certain we don't want to break up and even if we got married no divorce because it's better to resolve the problem since you committed to that person.

    • 2mo

      Congratulations! You are probably more prepared for marriage than most your same ages.
      I have only the very best wishes for the two of you. Bless your home and family!

    • 2mo

      Thank you so much! I'm very blessed :)

  • I'm fine with it so long as they know what they're doing, what they're getting into, and what marriage is about and what it requires.

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  • I don't think it's a good idea if your parents aren't rich.

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  • i married just before my 19th bday, and we lasted 22 years with three kids

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  • I don't know, a lot of people around me are getting married. It's weird to see a girl 3 years younger that allready has kids when you are still kid in your head and dont really know what you want from your life.

    But, not everybody is the same, some people grow up sooner. About a generation ago, it was normal for people to get married young, and it worked.

    So I won't say it's too soon. It might be too soon for me, but there is no reason to think that I'm right.

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    • 2mo

      You know what I totally agree with this. Back then people got married early and like now people are getting married later and even having kids later. I'm more of wanting to start my life early

    • 2mo

      Well, yeah, I'd rather be young and strong dad than old and weak.

  • i got married at that age and im still with her, its just most folks dont take marriage seriously especially women, and its why most fail.

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  • Young marriages are a really bad idea.
    This is why.
    Between the onset of puberty and the age of (roughly) 25 the human brain is rewired as part of the process of sexual maturation.
    The person you are at 15, 18, 20, or 22 will not be the same person you are when you are 25.
    You will think differently and have a different perception of the world, as well as different priorities.
    Consequently, your dream man/woman when you are 20 might be your nightmare when you are 25.
    It is better to wait until you are at least 25 before you make the commitment of marriage and babies.

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    • 2mo

      No offense, but I disagree. My parents married right out of high school after having me and they are still married today, despite everyone saying that it would be a failure. On the other hand, all of the disenfranchised middle aged people I know who waited seem to be divorcing en masse now that they approach their 50s.

    • 2mo

      I would encourage you to look up the published science on neurological development.
      I had to study it as part of an education degree.

    • 2mo

      I think young marriages work for the right people not all but it's better to start early then late

  • My coworker is 21 and he married at 20. He seems happy all the time.

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  • as everyone changes around his 30ies its hard to tell how long itll last but sometimes it works. I know someone that married on his 19th and is still happily married on his 58th or 60th i forgot now but eh... you get it.

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  • If they can make it work, it's the most romantic thing in the world.

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  • It's the couple's choice but I wouldn't recommend it.
    There are successful stories though, my father got married at 23 and he's still with my mother. She's almost two years older than him though.

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  • Some last but they are less likely to be successful and happy than later marriages. I would be concerned if I had a child who wanted to marry that young. If you consider marriage as a single choice, and your goal is to make the best match, then it's a bad strategy to marry until you have met a good number of potential mates.

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  • Too early as there is way too much time for it to go wrong I would highly suggest waiting. As they are also pricy.

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  • It is okay, but sometimes they seem like they don't last long. Most people who get married young seem to divorce early also. Do what you want but try to work hard at it.

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  • I'm cool as long as they know what it means to make that kind of commitment. I'm 28 and I'm unsure if I ever want to get married.

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  • you get to have children while you're young which is soo cool. imagine you're 40-45 and your kid is 21-27! so cool. you both are "adults" and get to have fun and share wisdom together so much fun. but if for example you have your first kid at... 29-35+... then you're at least 50 by the time your kid is 20... and 60 when your kid is 30... there will be a big gap between you and your kids age which is not fun

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    • 2mo

      Totally agree! Now a days people seem to be having kids later and later and when I was in high school people would tell me that their parents are in there 50s or almost 60s compared to my parents who were in their later 30s early 40s

    • 2mo

      Yes!! I also feel like it (having young parents) affects the personality of kids in a really positive way

  • Usually struggling
    Cause people at that age are either studying or working with not a good salary to afford a family
    Plus they don't work for long cause of tensions I think :P
    Are you going to marry or something?

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    • 2mo

      See typically most people say no to young marriage. I mean my boyfriend wants to but doesn't want to because of his parents cause they'll freak out. Everyone usually is like go to college get a job get married have kids. But we're different and have a different lifestyle and would be able to be financially stable with our incomes combined. Plus we get a long so well and have talked about resolving problems because we both don't believe in divorces. We want to wait for sex till marriage. We are very serious about our relationship and we have the same religious views.

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    • 2mo

      Haha seriously were twins then 💁🏼😂😂

    • 2mo

      Hahaha 😂
      You can say so

  • Not mentally ready and not financially ready. In general a bad idea.

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  • i think that i won't get married any time soon, i think the later you marry the less chance of a divorce you have.

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  • all of my aunts and uncles got married young and all got divorced, statistically doesn't work out. but it depends on the person, get married young you can spend your 20's together partying and having fun instead of playing the single life and hating every minute of it

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  • If they truly love each other, why not be married?
    I think they have a better chance of lasting

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  • Rarely last. Gonna say like.02% honestly.

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  • As long as the man has a stable job and the girl is working I don't see a problem
    I think it is better to marry young

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  • If they are both intelligent people, they could support each other, and they're sweet together.

    If they are those high school "cool"couples who have kids accidently and got married reluctantly. Their lives could be miserable.

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  • "I hope they know what they're doing"

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  • It's cute how they're so much in love that they wanna marry now, but sadly most of the time it ends they divorce quickly

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  • In general, it's a bad idea. But choice scenarios it can work

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What Girls Said 57

  • Hmm hard to say because it depends on the individuals involved and the quality of relationship. I have heard stories of young men who marry at 18 and divorce before 30 because they realize what they missed out on by marrying too soon. Regardless of how well the relationship is going. And this could basically be said about ANY marriage; time isn't so much a factor as you and your boyfriends personality and how you two will fare when things get ROUGH. To me, you're too young when you're not ready at ANY age because this type of decision depends so much person to person. As for people changing, well it could be said at any time in your life. Who you are at 30 won't be who you are at 60, etc. Can you accept that what good things you have now, including the things you do for him and he does for you, may not be seen again in some odd years? Can you accept that he might make a life changing decision after all is said and done? Or he, you? in my opinion, Its all about acceptance, never ending support, aligned values, admitting when you're wrong and naking a change, and constant consideration for one another. Not age.
    Although I will say, many people are plain immature and think their white tower is the whole world. Many are still egocentric at that age and dont even realize it until they're growing white hair.

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  • It's difficult to say. In theory, it sounds like young and foolish decision and will soon result in divorce just because it seems like it's spur of the moment. But family knows many other families and in all of them that got married that young the love is still real and in those that got married later there are some divorces. Maybe it's just a coincidence but I don't know.

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  • Great for the person who's mature at those ages. It is not too young and people needs to stop with that. Its about maturity and mentality. Just because some people are not ready for marriage, it doesn't mean all aren't. The problem with people is that their selfish, immature and native about REAL MARRIAGE. About what it takes, what it means , and why it's important to cherish the person you chose to dwell and become one with for life. I have a friend who married at 18 to his girlfriend and they are in their 5-6 years of marriage as of this year. Have children, work and is doing great. They are happy. I recently found out that another friend of mine from high school also got married around 21/22 and she too is happy in her marriage after she graduated from her College. A friend from middle school? You guessed it, got married at 22 to his girlfriend of 3 years and from what I found out from his dad is that he is doing well also. Now my close friend of 9 years is already married for 3 months and is doing fantastic as well. Its a bit difficult right now because of what they wanted to do. BUT, they planned this ahead of time, but is doing okay. And a old friend from middle school is also engaged. My late mother got married to my dad at 19 also.

    Again, people need to stop making excuses about marriage. These are the same ones who marry at 30's, 40's or even 50's and STILL they can't get it together. Why? Because they are selfish, they won't DIE to SELF as that is what marriage is supposed to do, they won't compromise, learn to respect their spouses, love nor cherish them, have sex with them equally and consented with each other, its a whole lot.

    The statistics is being looked at WRONG! That 75% percent rate of divorce? It's by those who got married for the 2nd and 3rd times + marriages!!! 75% is done by women alone! AND this mainly APPLIES to those who had premarital sex, cohabited before they married. New studies have shown that more than 2 sex partners for women are more likely to divorce. If your promiscuous, the percentage goes up. Timing also plays a role, including benefits of marrying young.

    So I say it like this. If you can do it, just do it. If you have to wait a while, then wait a while. But don't be entirely unrealistic with your choices, and you expect the other person to follow suit.

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  • I'm not against it. Honestly I could've gotten married at 15 if it was legal and socially accepted.
    Nowadays it's hard because society changed.

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    • 2mo

      Yeah because back then it was totally acceptable now a days people want to get married later which I'm like no I don't need to be like everyone else.

  • I think it's silly. You have a whole life ahead of you to enjoy the different phases and life stages. Marriage is serious. It takes A LOT of work, dedication and requires maturity. It's not all sunshine and roses, especially if people aren't financially stable. That's one of the reasons people fight in marriages. I say wait till you're mature enough, have a solid job and can enjoy a life together where money isn't a issue. I have no desire to get married right now, and I'm in a very serious relationship with my boyfriend. I know he's the one. I want to marry him someday. But for now, I want us both to enjoy our student/young lives without the intense commitment of marriage. We have a whole life together. Why rush things...

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  • Someone in this age-range will probably thank themselves later on for not going through with it. Nothing wrong with just living with someone for the time being until more years and more experiences are to be had. Just my opinion, but then again it always depends on the couple and their mindset, although they usually will kid themselves that they are ready when they usually aren't.

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  • depends on the young couple.

    One of my classmates is married and she is about 19.
    Compared to her, I feel very immature. So when she told me she was married, I didn't have the reaction, "Omg, you're too young."

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  • Depends on the individuals. I don't think there's something necessarily wrong with it. Many couples from the generation just before mine married at that age and still have long and happy marriages.

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  • I got engaged at 19.. we still haven't gotten married yet, but im sure we will be before 23.

    I only think it's bad when people marry fast before they really know eachother. Thats crazy.

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  • Well, according to statistics & science, there is a 75% divorce rate for couples who marry under the age of 25 & a 10% divorce rate for college educated couples who marry after the age of 30. If you marry at the age of 30 & above, you have a 80% chance of success, which is why, I'm not planning on marrying anytime soon. If you are? Good luck with that.

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    • 2mo

      If you know your partner and know that he or she will commit to you then you'll be okay. So I don't need to wait because I'm not one of those 75%

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    • 2mo

      Lol marrying at 30 is ridiculous then what u have kids late I don't know about that. Don't worry I'll be fine

    • 2mo

      Listen, YOU asked for my opinion on here, I shared it, now STOP arguing with me just because your opinion differs. YOU are ridiculous, because it seems to me that you can't stand it when people have different opinions to yours. Grow UP, little girl, because that's LIFE. If you can't take criticism, DON'T ASK FOR PEOPLE'S OPINIONS. Bye now.

  • It's too young, because people change so much as they reach their mid to late twenties. Their feelings and outlook changes moreso than a person in their late twenties to early thirties.

    It's difficult to make relationships last in general , but even more difficult to make it survive when you marry when you're just starting to learn who you are and want you want from life

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  • i am glad i didn't get married at 18. i got married at 24, and really happy about it. do what makes you happy, no regrets

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  • I was married t 21 going on 11 years... I think it depends on maturity and if your actually in love... other wise it won't last

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  • I personally wouldn't do it myself just because I don't have a very precise idea of what I want yet and don't think I would be ready. As for other people, if it makes them happy, they should go for it. Everyone does things at different times in their lives and that is okay, as long as you're ready and it's what you really want.

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  • They can work-I want one :3 because I want babies out the wazoo soon. A girl's gotta get married first.

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  • If I find the one for me id love to marry him early

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  • Might not last... cause uve got Lots of financial hurdles ahead. At that age u might not have a stable job to support a family plus at that age u barely know urself, best to come into urself first.

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  • Well, my parents got married when mom was 20. And when she was 18 she got engaged. They've been married for 20 years and they are still happy, so I dont really see any problem with it.

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  • I think that it depends? Would ask why so young? You have the whole life in front of You. But some people are really mature in that age and they can make it work sooo... It depends on what they have in their head. Some youngsters work their marriages better that the old ones. Sooo..

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  • Personally... I feel thats really young. Half the time (realistically) those young marriages dont last. People just rush into it. I dont see whats wrong with getting married at 26 or 27. You have your early 20's to go out and live your life and then you can start settling down. Whats the rush to getting married. Honestly, I find it more special when I see two people who have been together for 10 years decide to get married.

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    • 2mo

      Depends on the couple. Some are ready for it young and just rather not wait so they can spend their lives together.

  • That was a normal age in the past. it depends on the people and the sit.

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  • I'm 23 and I am forever indecisive when I have a girlfriend, so I definitely wouldn't marry anyone until i'm in my 30s and not so indecisive. Surely people my age area are just as indecisive as myself? Therefore I say NO to young marriage, we should live our younger life before tying the knot.

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  • Not a good idea.
    You should live your life/youth, travel, have fun, finish college and establish your career. Also, when you are older, you are also more mature, so you can choose better your partner.

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    • 2mo

      You can have twice as much fun with a partner. Not everyone goes to college because it's not necessary for every job. Sometimes the right person comes to you early because they're brought to you for a reason.

    • 2mo

      Well, I rather go to college to be sure I can provide for myself...
      And even though you find someone, why not just live together and have fun and sign a marriage contract later on when you are sure you can live together for the rest of your lives?

    • 2mo

      Well you can provide for yourself even if you don't go to college. College is not always necessary today's society thinks it is and everyone thinks you gotta go to college find a job get married then have kids. But i don't need to be like everyone else that's just boring. Back then it was different marriage was acceptable at a younger age. I am one of those few people that won't be like everyone else but that's okay:) because it would be easier for the both of us to get married now and combine our finances

  • My family are Mormons so it's kinda normal for me

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  • There is nothing wrong with it is just that sometimes people who get married early tend to regret especially if they don't enjoy their youth enough which often leads to divorce so my advice is no one should rush into marriage or they might likely rush out of it.

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  • Going to be married when I'm 23 and have been engaged since I was 21. I think it's fine as long as both partners are mature and willing to fight through anything. People are too willing to give up and not overcome hurdles together, grow together, etc and I'm thankful I have a partner who's just like me in that sense.

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  • I see nothing wrong with it, but most young married couples I know seem real insecure and unwilling to take advice from people who have actually been married, which is stupid because if those people want their marriages to thrive then they should at least listen to that advice. It's really the planning that gets me about young couples, they think love will pay the bills, no you have to work

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  • Too young

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  • Bad idea.

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  • bad decision..

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