Is it ok for me to have sex with other men after being forced in to a marriage?

I'm sacrificing my life for my family so why can't I live with other men after being forced into an arranged marriage? This guy I'll be marrying next year is an engineer and he's rich. Money ain't worth shit if you aren't happy. I told my parents I don't like him and they still want me to marry him and they emotionally blackmail me all the time. This engineer guy is so creepy cz he loves me too much and he behaves like a psychopath, he says he'll die with out me and he treats me like shit most of the time. He 29 and I'm 19. I'm really worried about this age gap right here and also he's a bit feminine. I've always wanted to fall in love and find a nice guy, marry him and live a peaceful life but now it feels like my dreams are being shattered. I've got no options, my only choice is to marry him. ( English is my third language so please don't be mad at me)


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Most Helpful Girl

  • I don't know what to say... I can tell you what would I do, but that doesn't mean you would do it right? I would get the fuck out of my place asap and never (or maybe in a few years in the future) come back... and I'm not overreacting... I rather stay poor and without my parents, than spend the rest of my life living a life I never wanted to live... think of it like this: your parents one day will die, I mean, eventually right? and then you'll stay with your husband for the rest of those years to come... sounds scary af, even more if you feel like he's a bit psycho.
    Trust me, you won't be the first woman to leave your house and try to live independently, it won't be easy I can assure you that, and you might be broke for a few months or even years... but you'll be free, and sooner or later, will settle down and live your life as you always wanted...

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    • 1mo

      Thankyou very much, I've been thinking about it hardly as well. I had some problem yesterday and I decided to take some pills and kill my Self but then I didn't. I think life's impossible but I want to live, I'm scared of death.

    • 1mo

      Girl, I really don't know what to tell you, I'm glad you couldn't take those pills, death is permanent, but life in the other hand, is full of surprises!, ups and downs, you can make it through, and it makes me really sad that you feeling this way, even tho I don't know you, to know someone feels so desperate so they want to end his/her life must be an awful thing.
      You can do it, just repeat it to yourself a hundred or thousand times, you CAN do it.
      If you give up now, you will always wonder what would it happen if you wouldn't give up. You are an intelligent person (because you were able to realize that kind of life sucks, and that you can do/be better), so you can make it, you just have to take that leap of faith and do it. Obviously if you do it, you must as well keep your word and actions strong, once you take a decision, you can't go back to the starting point.
      I really wish you the best and hope you can give an update on how it went <3

    • 21d

      Thanks for the MHO... I hope you're doing better :O

What Guys Said 8

  • If you're in a country where forced arranged marriages are legal it's probably legal for them to stone you to death for adultery, so you probably shouldn't sleep with other men. Maybe flee to America if you're not a Muslim or if Hillary wins.

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    • 1mo

      It's not legal, I'm just forcing myself. I don't know what else to do...

    • 1mo

      if you're forcing yourself to marry this guy, then get out of it.

  • No. Get out the marriage and do things the right way.

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  • What country are you from, yes you should have sex with someone else but someone you like not multiples

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  • it's obviously not ok to have sex with other men, but i think you should try your best to marry the one you like the most, it's a life changing decision, this should not be based on others desires!

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    • 1mo

      I know but it's just too hard. I've always sacrificed my happiness for my parents and they don't understand me. See, I'm a human too, I've feelings like others do. I'm no robot, since I've got no options, why can't I find someone after marriage? . I've two options, I'll have to disappear or I'll have to marry him. My situation is complicated.

    • 1mo

      look, i totally agree you on that your parent are being mean to you (if there is only a matter of money) and they shouldn't be doing this, but on the other side this is wrong to have sex with other guys, i know sex is about who you like the most and who you don't , but never the less this is totally wrong, you should try to find an alternative way to marry the guy you like the most and then build up a sexual relation with him,
      Lets think if you marry that guy you don't like, and if he find out you are having sex with random guys, afterwards your life would be no less than hell, so i advice you to not marry the guy you don't like :)

  • You sacrificed for your family
    What's your husband fault that you made shitty decision

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  • No just leave him

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  • You need to get out of that marriage arrangement.

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  • I think marriage means don't have sex with anyone but your husband but hey what do I know.

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    • 1mo

      That's totally right. But what else am I suppose do in my situation?, live with someone i hate for the rest of my life? . Im a human too I've expectations like everyone else.

    • 1mo

      Then divorce him.
      If you are going to say I can't I have family obligations then forget cheating on him you out family above your own needs your choice has already been made

    • 1mo

      I tried and tried and tried. I'm jealous of other people, I want a life where I can live happily with someone I love. I'm really depressed, I'm confused. But Thank you.

What Girls Said 3

  • i know about arranged marriage... keep on convincing your fam that you're no tinterested

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  • You need to get out of this situation… it's no good simply going along with marrying him and then just having sex with other people at the same time. That won't bring you happiness. Think about number one, you!
    You should seek help from a women's refuge or something, get away from all these manipulators that don't care about your happiness.

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    • 1mo

      Thanks a lot but what am I suppose to do if those manipulators were none other than my parents? And that psychpath. I've no single clue about my future or where I'm gonna end up... My life's nothing but a total disaster.

    • 1mo

      Madam, what I say next, i say with the most sincerity. Fuck your parents. Leave them behind. I know it is hard due to many cultures being set where you have to respect your parents but they obviously do not respect you. Run away and never look back

    • 1mo

      @Zippitydooda agreed. Your life will continue being a total disaster if you let it stay how it is right now and let yourself be forced in to this loveless marriage. I know it's hard to find the strength to get away, but if you want the chance to have a fulfilling life, you need to.

  • Don't marry him.

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