Am I stupid for wanting my fiancé to marry me earlier than planned?

I cannot wait to get married to my boyfriend I really love with all of my heart. He wants to wait awhile to get married but I want to get married now. He thinks I am doing it cuz I am insecure and wants kids sooner. I am not insecure at all or anything just excited to be one with him. I want to wait awhile for kids tbh I am not mentally prepared for them at all but I talk about them a lot cuz I want them. I am just excited to be united with him ASAP. I know he promised to be with me but I am really excited to be his. I am not by no means in it for money, kids or to fufill any insecurities. I just really love him and cannot wait to be his and his alone. I know he will see this guaranteed but Idc.

Updates:
1mo I have known my fiancé since early August and I have lived with him since early Sept.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • He is smart to want to wait. You guys are too young still and too much going on and can change at this stage of your life. Experts say you should wait until your 25 at least. By then, you both are pretty settled with how your life is going to go. If you're love is that strong, it's no big deal. You'll be just as in love with him at 25 as you are now. Being married doesn't change anything, it just makes it legal on paper.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Marriage is a big step and in order to get married, you have to be emotionally, mentally, physically, and financially ready. First of all, you have really think about it and ask yourself, Why do you want to get married and what do you love about your partner? If you find yourself struggling with trying to find the answer, then you are not ready to get married. In marriage, the two of you have to put in work so this marriage can be successful. For example, 50/50 which means that the two of you should be able to make decisions together like adults, satisfying your partner's needs, and taking care of your household. To get married, you also have to be financially ready. If you don't have a nice financially stable job or a career, then how will you pay for all of your expenses. Marriage is a lifetime commitment and when you say " I do" at the alter, your vowing to God that you will always love, cherish, care, support, and always be there for your partner no matter what. When you get married, the two of you will become one and will have to share everything together such as bank accounts, bed, food, and body and more. Marriage is a serious commitment and if your really serious about getting married then do as you please but think about what I have told you and see if you actually wants to get married. Since you are very young, ask yourself if this marriage will interfere with your education? Will it be better for you to make this commitment when you're a lot older? I'm 20 but never had a boyfriend and if I did, I would think about all the responsibilities marriage came with. I hope you do and I also hope this helps. Have a nice day and feel free to ask me any question.☺

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What Guys Said 8

  • You're not stupid for wanting to marry him earlier than planned.

    But seriously, you're a complete fucking moron for wanting to marry him after a 3-month relationship at 18 years old. I can't even explain how many levels of retard you currently are.

    It's no surprise you're in love. Young people often get butterflies and the sweats when thinking about their boyfriend/girlfriend. Perceptions of reality are often distorted during this period. This is pretty much known to everyone. Teenagers basically do stupid things when they're in love, and that same person - when they become adults - would never do the same things as they mature.

    At this stage, you probably have no education beyond high school. No career (a job at Walmart is not a career). And no home (no, living with your parents does not count).

    On top of that, you have not experienced living with him under normal circumstances, which is when the initial crush phase is over. Everyone is lovey dovey within the first few months of a relationship. Watch and see what people can become 1-2 years afterwards. That's their true self - not what you see in the first few months.

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  • You are very young and I agree with your boyfriend, best to wait a while, get things sorted like jobs, where you live before you think about marriage.

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  • So let's get some things straight. You're only 18. You've known him for a grand total of three months. Only lived with him for two months. And you already want to get married?

    Yes that is stupid not gonna lie. Marriages that start this quickly almost always end just as quickly. The way you talk about it makes it pretty clear that you have some kind of marriage fever. Marriage is a HUGE commitment and the fact that you already just want to jump into it after knowing someone for only 3 months shows that you are not ready for that kind of commitment.

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  • We advanced our marriage to the earliest possible date because my father in law was becoming a major PITA.

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  • you want sex not him there is a differece

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  • Now is too soon, back off, believe me things can change, or they may not. But you have only known each other a very short time, take some time to really get to know each other better.

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  • No, but stick to the plan. It take patience, but part of the engagement is to make sure you're ready.

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  • dont trust men. he will dump you.

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What Girls Said 14

  • I think if you've only known each other a couple months, perhaps wait on the wedding. But at the same time, I totally get what you're saying. You're full of love and want to be his. I get like that too with my partner.
    But at your age, and knowing him not long I think it'd be smarter to wait perhaps a year at least, to get married.

    But whatever you two decide in the end, it's your relationship not anyone else's!

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  • It's only been a few months and you're already living together. Marriage is a lifelong commitment and will still be there when you're BOTH ready. It takes a lot more than love to get through marriage, the biggest is respect. Respect his wish to wait and focus on getting to know him and beginning a life together. Set a mutual goal (maybe a holiday?) and start saving and planning

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  • Ask him why he wants to wait. It's a relationship, it works from both of you. Try to understand him then place your view forward and try to make him understand you. After that, meet in the middle, as in come up with a mutual agreement. I get that you want to just be his, it's pretty normal but hear him our first.

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  • I can see that you're enthusiased about it. It does seem you have good intentions about it in all honesty, but there is no need to rush. Just take you're time

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  • Don't rush it. It's been really soon, you guys might not work out, and that's a lot worse when you've married and you don't work out.

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  • No you're not stupid ❤️It's very cute actually ^^

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  • Not stupid. But sounds like you both have different ideals you need to compromise on

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    • 1mo

      Yes in a relationship both parties should compromise and be aware of ones ideals. Thank you for the advice.

  • It doesn't make you stupid, but if he's saying you're insecure you may be coming off as clingy. That's why he's probably thinking it's a good idea to wait. Marriage is a big commitment and it's a lifetime decision, you're not even old enough to drink yet. It's a good idea to wait.

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    • 1mo

      Maybe but I don't know. I know it is a big commitment and a life time decision and I want to pursue it ASAP cuz I love him so much that I would do anything to be with him. I am not clingy or insecure cuz Ik he loves me and is serious about marriage with me.

  • No offends I don't mean to sound rude but yes that is a stupid idea. Young marriages don't last , I was your age when I got married to the father of my child I didn't want to get married the reason I married him was because I was pregnant with my little girl. I wanted my child to have a father that's one of the reasons and my parents made me because their Christians. And let me tell you marriage didn't last once my little girl turn 1 , My ex and I got divorce. Not to sound mean your boyfriend told you he doesn't want to get married soon then he is telling in plain English means that he isn't ready for commitment later he will meet a girl he likes and he will break up with you. Right now you will think that your boyfriend is the cutes guy that you love him , Then later next few months you meet a knew guy you like then what's going to happened in that marriage. Trust me you should wait at least within a year let me mention to you. You won't think and be the same person within the next 5 years. So don't ruin your life.

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  • I dont think you stupid at all. It actually cute if you have that intention.
    You have to ask him why he wants to wait. But in my opinion, maybe he just want you to have more experience with life if you're really 18.

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    • 1mo

      He does want to wait and I know his reasons why he wants to wait but I want to marry him ASAP cuz I love him more than any man I have ever dated or known. Thank you for your opinion.

  • hmmm you should talk to him and ask him what he thinks about it

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  • Just wait, when it comes to marriage some guys doesn't like the feeling of being forced or pressured.

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    • 1mo

      Yes Ik but I love him so much. I feel like a married to him already. He says we are like a married couple of the time so I thought why not make it official.

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    • 1mo

      I know but I will never divorce my bf/fiancé and he will not divorce me. I am confident in my choice to get married to him and I stand firm on it but thanks for the advice and story.

    • 1mo

      You may not but he might just be careful and no problem

  • How long do you know eachother?

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    • 1mo

      We have know each other since Early August.

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    • 1mo

      Yes so what. Ik the answer already. Thanks for your opinion tho.

    • 1mo

      No problem

  • No. Your fine :)

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